<knock, knock>
“The door is open, come in.”
“Mistress… can I talk to you about a personal problem?”
“You are my personal problem, Beatrice.”
“I’m…”
“No, seriously, what can I help you with? Sit down.”
“Oh! Ah… This is really serious.”
“I’m sorry I sounded flip. But you really are a personal problem to me in the sense that I’m interested in whatever problem you have. You know that. It’s why you’re here.”
“I know and I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t brought me here. And I haven’t even appreciated all that you’ve done because….I wanted to…tried to…”
“I understand, dear. I know I haven’t been able to heal you as I would have liked. You don’t have to apologize for feeling despair. You’re not alone in that. But you’re not as troubled by that now, I think?”
“That’s why I’m here…um…”
“Because you don’t have a problem?”
“I don’t but I do. It’s… a different problem. The Professor…”
Mistress’ voice turned hard immediately. “What has he done? Tell me everything.”
Beatrice almost shouted, “No! It’s not like that! He’s…” Then she continued very quietly, “He’s been nice. He’s perfect. He’s… I think I love him.”
“I see.” The Mistress closed her eyes and sat still. She was quiet for so long that Beatrice began to feel that she’d done wrong to bring this to Mistress and there was a figurative storm about to break. But at last, Mistress only breathed a heavy sigh and muttered something that sounded like an incantation.
“Ever there is a price to be paid
Ever there is a sacrifice made
Naught is ever to be gained for free
Not even for one as great as thee”
“Pardon?”
“Advice to Ozymandias. No good deed goes unpunished.”
“Am I in trouble?”
“Yes. Yes, you are, but not with me.”
“Ma’am?”
“You’re not the first near-immortal to fall for a mortal, you know. It’s classical literature, isn’t it? So you also know the problems it brings. And unlike some of the old tales, you can’t become mortal to spend a lifetime together.”
“We could turn him…”
“And that would get you in trouble with me.”
“But…”
“He’s ancient, dear. Part of what brought him to us was his fear of his deteriorating body. He hurts. A little almost all the time, and sometimes a great deal. He hides it well. You know we could only stop his aging where he is. We can’t repair him or make him younger. Would you imprison him forever in his pains to satisfy a need for him?”
Beatrice’s answer was slow in coming. “……No.”
“Then try to enjoy the time he has left.”
“I want to tell him…”
“I’m sure you do but let me discourage you.”
“Why!?”
“He’s as proud as a first time father of what he’s done for you three. For you especially. You’re like children he never had and he’s living on the happiness it gives him be making you all happier. To be seeing you all learning from him. If you profess love for him… he’s no fool. He knows when he finally dies you may fall back into depression. If he were your love… would you even lose the will to live again? The gift he’s so proud of having given you. A gift that keeps him happy. That gets him up every day despite how his body hurts him. Would you take that from him?”
This time her answer was even slower to come and barely audible “….No, Ma’am.”
“It’ll only hurt you to continue loving him as you do now. Let him love you the way he does without being afraid for your future.”
“He….?”
“He loves you, Beatrice. He loves all of you… but you especially, I think. Because you needed him most.”
“Did he say…?”
“No. But if he had, you know I wouldn’t tell you what he said to me privately.”
“But he does?”
“As I said, he loves you like a father. He doesn’t have to say it in words. As for your feelings, I don’t know whether to be sad for you or happy. It’s a complication to your life you will have to meditate on. You must be careful for your heart…but you must also be careful for his. Is there anything else you wish to shock me with?”
“Oh… no, Ma’am.”
“Very well. Go think about what I’ve said. And my doorway is open if you need to talk more about it, alright?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
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