The ultimate victor will be the one with the most control: of himself, the opponent, the environment, and of course, lady luck.
"Um...Angelo said you're to teach me about dealing," Joey finally summoned the words.
"Why didn't you say so? Ok, I'm Amy," she said as she put her hand out. Joey stared at her hand for a long while before eventually raising his to meet it. He wasn't accustomed to touching people. It made him feel too many things. Whether it was the smoothness of her skin or the light scent of lavender wafting from her body, these were very strong sensations that momentarily muddled his mind.
There was something else as well. 'I'm...shy?' Joey asked himself. 'No...it's her. She's feeling shy. Wow, total opposite of her demeanor.' He took another glance at her before pulling his hand away, noticing the light red blush spreading on her pale cheeks.
They once again stood in awkward silence until Amy remembered her task. "Right, let me show you around first," she said with her smooth, but strangely monotone voice. She proceeded to give him a tour of the space, as she explained to him the norms and customs of both the staff and the players.
"You know how to play right?" She asked.
"A bit," he responded.
"Alright, well professor Amy is going to start the lecture so you just tell me if you don't understand something," she said with a serious face. "Snacks, coffee, I don't need to explain that to you. The dealer part is what you need to focus on and also where most of the tips will be coming from. Ok, you see this poker table?" she asked.
Joey nodded.
"The dealer sits in this chair. As the dealer, your job is simple. First, deal the cards according to the rules of the game. Second, follow the action."
"Action?" Joey asked.
"Action means what's happened so far during a hand: who bet, raised, checked, etc., and most importantly, who has to make the current decision. As you probably know, only one player can make a decision at a time. Whoever's turn that is, we say the action's on that player. The dealer has to track that as well as other things like who has the button."
"Button? Is there a dress code?"
Amy stared at Joey in confusion. "I'm really curious now where exactly Angelo found you from. If he hired you for this...it's not because of your extensive experience. Did you save him in a past life?" she asked as she stared earnestly at Joey, awaiting an answer.
"Um...unlikely," Joey replied, not sure what to make of this situation.
"Ok students, let's start this semester's session of Poker 101," Amy continued with her roleplay and Joey began to wonder if this was a fetish of hers or something. "So in every hold 'em hand, there's one player who has the button. It just stays in front of that player's chips. it's that white thing there," She pointed to a round white object shaped like an air hockey puck. "At the end of every hand, it's the dealer's job slide the button over one position to the left to the next player. Got that? Now, the first reason the button is important is position."
"Position? Like...sitting or standing?"
Amy again stared at Joey for half a minute while her mouth twitched repeatedly, as if sending morse code, a signal for help to someone, anyone.
"No, position refers to who gets to act last during a poker hand. The player with the button has that right. This is a big advantage in poker because the player who acts last has more information about what the players who acted before him did. For example, if they bet or checked, you'll have a better idea of if they're strong or weak. The second reason the button is important is that the two players to the left of the button are the blinds," Amy added.
"Blinds...I respect the disabled but am I supposed to read out the cards to them or what?" Joey wondered aloud. Meanwhile, Amy's eyes entered a bout of furious blinking, just hoping...wishing that the blink would come, the one foretold, that would erase Joey from his senseless existence.
"The blinds are the positions of the two players to the left of the button. When the button moves left, they also move left. The blinds are the worst positions to be in for two reasons. The first is because they have to act first anytime betting starts. So just like acting last is an advantage for the button, acting first is a disadvantage for the blinds. The only exception to that is on the first betting round when everyone gets the first two down cards, the blinds act last only then. Afterward, they always act first. The second reason it's bad to be the blinds is that at the beginning of a hand, they're forced to put chips into the pot."
"I don't see a pot. Is it under the table?" Amy stared at him for a few moments before looking up, as if looking for a wormhole she could jump into to phase shift into another dimension, a simpler dimension, one without these struggles and vicissitudes.
After what seemed like an eternity, during which universes collapsed and reformed countless times, Amy managed to regain her composure. "The pot is what we call the center of the table, that's where the chips that are wagered during a hand stay until the hand is over. Once a hand is over, the winner gets the pot. Then a new hand starts, the button and blinds all slide 1 position left, and the blinds are forced to pay a small number of chips into the pot. Then everyone gets dealt two down cards. In summary: button good, blinds bad."
Amy paused to give Joey a chance to speak. She had already pulled out the remote control connected to the ejection device in the floor underneath her. She closely gripped it behind her back, waiting, watching. Joey and her locked eyes as wild west music played in the background of her mind.
"...Ok." Joey replied nonchalantly.
'God is good. God is great,' Amy thought to herself as she finished up her sermon. "That's the gist of it. At the end of every hand, the winner will usually throw the dealer a tip. That's how we get our cheddar. Any other questions?"
Joey slowly and carefully shook his head as he felt the thick bloodlust receding.
"Alright, let me show you how to shuffle the cards," Amy concluded, obviously in a much better mood.
'He better have the shuffling technique of David Blaine or it's gonna be Chernobyl up in here,' Amy thought to herself, with a cold smile on her face.
Luckily, Joey was unaware of the specifics of Amy's thoughts during this whole process. Empath or not, some people's minds are just too...unique. Nevertheless, that didn't save him from having to look around for a mop to wipe the pool of sweat that had collected beneath him on the hardwood floor.
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