Flashback

I am sitting in my living room, eating ice cream out of the tub like a cliche of a person after a heartbreak, when I hear my phone ringing. I groan as I slide off the couch and literally crawl my way to my bed, and unplug my phone from the charger. I sigh as I glance at the screen.

“Hey dad.” I say with a faint smile as I answer.

“Hey son, how are you?”

I shrug, placing the almost empty container of ice cream in between my legs and shovel a spoonful into my mouth, “I am doing great.”

He is silent for a moment. “Son. I know you are hurting, and I can't tell you how to cope. But this... isn't healthy. It has been almost 2 months. You are almost out of time to take off and…”

“Dad if you are going to lecture me, just save it.” I interrupt, “Besides, I'm thinking of moving home. There's nothing for me here anymore.”

There is a long silence. “No.”

I freeze mid bite, “No?”

“No, I will not take you back in if you move home. You need to stay where you are and face your fears. You need to step up and make yourself you again. I hate seeing you like this, but dammit son. This is not how I raised you.”

I look down at my hands and twirl the spoon in the ice cream, “Dad, I just don't know how to get out of my funk. Nothing seems to help.”

“Why not see someone?” he suggests.

“I am not ready to date dad.” I roll my eyes.

I hear his belly laugh and it makes me smile. Just a bit, “No no son. I meant to see someone professionally. See if they can help you.”

“Dad, I'm not sure.. I just don't want to talk to some stranger about my problems... That's why I have you.'' I smile

“And I am happy to listen, but son… I may not always be there. It's okay to seek help even if it's just for guidance. There is nothing wrong with getting help to heal. What do you have to loose son?”

I ponder on it for a moment. I look around my apartment and notice the chaos around me. Pizza boxes, a shit ton of take out boxes other than pizza, ice cream tubs, dirty dishes in every room, laundry that hasn't been washed in weeks. I place my container on the side table and stand. I glance at myself in the mirror and I can't believe who I am looking at. In less than 2 month, I gained 100lbs, I lost all drive to do anything. I stink, wearing sweat pants that are to small, bags under my eyes, hair and beard out of control. Walking up and down my stairs is becoming harder, going outside seems impossible, work just sounds unimportant…

“Maybe you are right dad. I will think about it.”

“I know son, it's your choice, but we will support you no matter what.”

“I love you dad.”

“I love you too son. Come and see us soon.”

“Soon dad. I promise.”