03/05/2020

Haven:

     I don’t know why, but I know that I need to get to Amory’s room. I need to check on him, something feels off this morning. I’ve already packed all my stuff together, so I walk down to his room. I knock, but instead of him calling me in, I hear a thump on the floor.

     As soon as I open the door I can hear his sharp, shallow breathing. I look around and see Amory curled up on the floor in the middle of another, worse, panic attack. I sit beside him and gather him in a hug from behind, as tight as I can. I put his hand on my chest so he can feel my breathing and, hopefully, stop scratching his arms to pieces.

     “I’m here, Amory. You are safe.” I repeat that sentence over and over in a calm, monotonous voice. He finally starts calming down enough that he can start breathing with me in deeper breaths.

     I can feel him start to come down from the attack. Awareness of his surroundings resurfacing and the reality of what happened crashing down.

     Now that he has stopped scratching, I move my hands up and down his arms, murmuring quietly to myself. His arms are healing, and his anxiety is starting to fade a little, so I help him up and take him to the kitchen. Once he is sitting at the table I hand him a glass of water and wait for him to drink it before we start talking.

     “Do you want to talk about it?” I won’t force him to talk, but I hope he realizes how much it can help. I watch him while he thinks about how he wants to answer. He is still very anxious, but not to the point of being in danger of another anxiety attack. “We don’t have to; I was just thinking it might help to talk about what is bothering you. Even if we can’t fix it, you can at least know that I understand what’s going on and that I am on your side.”

     “What if the perception spell doesn’t work? What if he finds us? What if he has guards waiting at the portal, monitoring the comings and goings? I can’t go back to him. I can’t let him get to me before I am ready. He will kill me to get my power,” Amory rushes all at once barely taking a breath. I finally realize just how terrified of his father he is. He has not told me everything he went through while he was living with his father, but I’ve seen enough to know he was severely abused by him.

     “The perception spell will be even stronger than usual because you will be able to help boost it. If he finds us, Aylward will keep him distracted while we get through the portal and on the road home. It did not even occur to me that he might have guards at the portal, so we will need to bring that up with Aylward. We will do whatever it takes to keep you safe from him, but remember, you are so powerful, even now. You are one of the most powerful mages, even before you ascend. You have a good chance of getting yourself to safety.” I take a deep breath and look over at him. My words seem to be sinking in a little. “I’m not saying it’s going to be east. It will be far from easy, but you have people on your side now. I promise.”

     He stares at me, trying to see if I believe what I’m saying. Eventually his shoulders relax, and he lays his head down.