Julian’s eyes snapped back and he looked at me and smiled slightly. I was glad that at least someone realized how crazy all of that was. As soon as Michal “pledged” himself to Satan the blood in the urn ran out and he stood up. I thought there would be some sort of cry, or more ritual things or something but instead, everyone just stood up and started talking to each other.

It was very surreal, everyone hanging out in the forest in the middle of the night like it was a picnic. There was even a box of cookies on the ground that everyone was grabbing from. I looked next to me to ask Julian more questions but he was gone. When I looked forward I saw him next to Michal. Julian speaking to Michal H. would have been a weird thing normally even if one of them wasn’t covered in blood.

I was just standing on the sidelines. Everything felt weirdly similar to my first day of high school. Me standing in the parking lot feeling so uncomfortable. After a minute of just standing there, people yelling out SATAN! every few seconds I was just about ready to leave.

“Naomi!” Charlie came up and hugged me. Charlie hugged me. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the woods. During some satanic ritual. Charlie.

“Hey,” there was nothing I could say, absolutely nothing that would have made that any less weird.

Somehow Charlie didn’t see how awkward I was because she just kept speaking, “I heard you might be coming but I didn’t think it was true, I’m so glad you’re here Naomi!”

I didn’t say anything but she started pulling me deeper into the clearing. No one really looked at us, even though I was new and Charlie was super bubbly, “Come on grab a cookie, I brought a lot.”

How long had Charlie been in this cult that she was comfortable bringing cookies for people to share? That’s a bit of a redundant question though diary, Charlie could be invited to a funeral of someone she didn’t know and still bring cookies. Charlie stopped pulling me when we got to the cookies, and I sat down, resting on the back of a tree root and started to nibble on a cookie. It was chocolate chip, but I think I tasted some oatmeal in the batter.

“So what is all this?” I said in between bites of my cookie.

Charlie looked confused for a second then it seemed to click on her what I meant, “It’s basically like girl scouts but with anti-religion, I guess?”

I looked behind her and saw someone licking the inside of the blood urn.

“Girl scouts?” I repeated back to her.

“Yeah when it’s warm we all hike here and have ritual and when it’s cold we meet in the old community center,” Charlie sat down next to me, on the opposite side of the tree root leaving against the large imposing trunk that reached up into the night sky, “This was an initiating ritual, but they are also black sabbaths and cursing rituals and lots of other fun stuff.”

Willis told me that black sabbaths were like mass but satanic. When she told me that I thought goat sacrifices and people wearing black robes. But when Charlie said that her eyes shone and she basically used the same tone as when she was talking about declaring her journey.

“Just like girl scouts,” I said again.

Someone plopped themselves down next to us and started munching on a cookie. It was Gina, she was part of the group of gymnastics team members that Kelly and Steven kicked out of their table. But she didn’t seem too mad at me instead she was smiling and running her hand through her kinky black hair.

“So are you guys going to church tomorrow?” she asked us, both of us which was weird. I had never even had a conversation with her, but she felt comfortable asking me about my Sunday plans. And for some reason, I felt comfortable answering her.

“Yeah, my mom’s out of town though so I’m going to have to walk.” I said, then a thought, “Actually can I sit with your family Charlie?”

Gina seemed to jump up,” Why are you going to church if your parents are out of town? Just skip it, they won’t know.”

Charlie seemed to agree with her, “Yeah don’t worry I can tell them you were there both of us sit near the back the pastor won’t know.”

“No, no I have to go. I promised my mom I would go and someone might notice I’m not there,” I didn’t say any of this with conviction though, sure I had promised mom I would go, but the prospect of a free morning was really tempting. But I shut down Gina when she tried to encourage me to skip anyway, Mom loves church, she needs me to go so I’m going. End of discussion

“But speaking of church do you think we’ll be able to curse the pastor this month?” Gina asked.

Charlie said that she didn’t know but I wondered who else in town they had cursed. Had the car crash on Columbus day been a curse, or just coincidence? Damn it diary, now I’m starting to think curses are real. Anyway Gina, Charlie, and I talked until about 5 am. Once the clock struck five, the metaphorical clock that is, everyone just started leaving. No exit ritual, no nothing. Charlie took the cookies and Evelyn took the urn. Michal didn’t even clean up the blood before hiking back.

And in a way that last part was the weirdest thing that had happened. I’m laying here in my bed with Satin writing all this and I still can’t believe that I had a conversation with someone on the gymnastics team. Or that Michal H. had walked somewhere looked unpresentable. Charlie said she would text me with the next meeting date, and I think I’m going to go back. Just to experience that strangeness again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ughh, I just got back from church diary. It’s still October 8th so I’m not going to put this under a new day. Even though I was up till 5am I woke up alert and full of energy. Like that cookie, I ate converted into pure caffeine or something. But as I got up and showered I got more and more muggy like the weather. It started out as cloudy when I woke up but by the time I was dressing up and looking out my window, it was drizzling. But I didn’t get tired because of my nighttime hike, no it was the looming specter of going to church that really dampened my mood.

Satin was propped up on my pillow while I was dressing up. But before I got out some of my church dresses from the back of my closet I turned him to face the pillow. I didn’t want him to see me wearing something like that.

As I zipped up the back of my large yellow and orange print full-skirted dress I sighed. Derrick almost threw me out of the house when I tried to go to church in a black dress, saying that I was going to invite the devil into my heart. Derrick isn’t really that religious though, he just didn’t want people to think that I’m “weird”. And even though he wasn’t there today I still wore one of the five church dresses I haven’t put up in the attic yet, didn’t want to be more of an embarrassment after all. If I comply enough, maybe he’ll take me to Olympia next time. I put on my white church kitten heels and looked in my mirror, the tulle of the dress felt like spiders on my skin and no makeup would improve how uncomfortable I felt.

Even though I knew I would be soaked by the time I got to church I didn’t wear a hoodie. Because you had to be presentable in the house of the lord! That’s what Miss C, the Sunday school teacher always says. I tried to listen to music on my way but I found that the tiny pitter-patter of the rain as it hit the asphalt was doing better at calming me down than anything out of my earbuds.

Fortuna Baptist Church was built in the 70s and in the eldest style possible. With the white columns and domed ceiling when I first saw it I thought it was a cathedral. But really the architect was a multimillion was tons of disposable income and a drinking problem, as I walked up the curved marble staircase I thought that he must have been at least a bit tipsy while he was designing it.

Like Charlie said we sat near the back, farthest row on the right under the stained glass window of Jesus coming back after three days. I sat between Charlie’s parents like I was eight years old again and needed to be monitored to make sure I didn’t kick my legs. But when Pastor Phillips started talking, I was honestly a bit tempted to start kicking.

“Family is the most important institution that we can promote. Family starts with us. You shall not commit adultery is one of the 10 commandments. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” so says Ephesians 5:25. Children should love their parents as they love Christ, family starts in the home and extends outward. How can you love your neighbors if you don’t first love those who live in your own home?”

It continued on, and on, and on. Until there was a hymen break and then back to sermons. And then it was over, two hours of being yelled out and given orders and singing songs. I almost wish I had just skipped.

I was all ready to leave once the pastor stopped talking but people started coming up to me as soon as things ended.

“Naomi how is your brother doing in Olympia?”

They hadn’t texted me since they left on Friday but I smiled, “I bet he’s doing great, they’re a shoo-in to win.”

I made my way towards the door after that, but just as I was stepping down the stairs.

“Wish Nathanial luck for me, Naomi!”

I nodded, “Of course, Mr.Simmons.”

“Are your parents enjoying their mini-vacation, Naomi?”

She could literally just ask them, she could just text or call them. I know she has their numbers!, “They must be, Jaona, Olympia is a great city.”

I eventually got home and I’m just trying to recover from this whole day. Never knew my mood could flip-flop so much. Anyway, they’ll be back tomorrow, diary. See you then.

Naomi J. Morgan