“ Gil, Are you alright?” I gently placed my hand on the square of his back. His body was trembling as well but subsided once I rubbed his back.

Without looking at me he nodded his head.

I felt my brows crease as my thoughts began to jumble.

 ' He is probably exhausted, even as I watched him take down the Ancient Boar. His movements seemed heavy and slow. Now here I have been, keeping him from rest, being forceful and controlling over the situation. Not to mention forcing myself on him.'

My throat locked in my chest.

 ' What the hell have I been doing?! I have been just so overjoyed to see him again I had not put any thought into how awful I have been.

I took away his memories from the past and suddenly splunder them back onto him. Expecting him to love me with open arms like I've dreamed.

But, the reality of it is that he probably has not wanted this! He has only been going along with it because of my status!

Of me being a werewolf.

Oh god... Was this really what has been happening?

Have I just been forcing my hand on him?'

        “ Alric?”

The water shifting and the trace of his finger on my jawline had me jump from my spinning mind.

        “ Are you alright?” His green eyes showed so much worry I curled into his chest.

         “ I apologize. A dizzy spell is all.” My voice was much raspier than I wanted.

Gil lifted my face with a finger then placed the back of his hand to my forehead. With a confused frown he rubbed my cheeks and looked me over. “ Let's get out and go to the room. I'm plenty clean.”

His hands prickled my skin as he gently braced my shoulders. Guiding me to the steps of the bath. My voice still could not seem to unclench from the grasp of my chest as he placed a soft white robe over me. His hands were so gentle as he rubbed a cloth through my hair. Keeping his eyes locked to mine. What did I look like to him? I wondered.

        “ I’m sorry if that was unnerving. I forget what it looks like but I'm sure tis not a nice sight.” he said with a smile but I could see the shame in his eyes.

I shook my head hugging the robe.

        “ No, it’s not that. ”

        “ Then, what is the matter?”

I looked up at him. Ears back and feeling cold.

I wanted to ask him if I should go.

I wanted to ask him to hold me.

I wanted to ask him to love to me.

To make love to me.

But I just stared.

He watched me with strong eyes and slid a towel of his own around his waist. The water dripped down his stubbled face as it slowly molded into a stoned look.

        “ You don't need to force yourself to be here.” Gil’s voice sounded far away even though he was inches in front of me. “Don’t feel like you need to repay me either. I helped you because I wanted to. Not because I ever expected some kind of payment. I didn't even know what you were at the time. So honestly. Don’t do something you don’t want to do. “ he no longer looked at me which made the darkness in my mind that much more suffocating.

        “ No Gil, that-“ Gil cut me off with a motion of his hand.

        “ Matter of fact. It’s probably best that you would go. Your pack wouldn't want you near me anyway. “

I felt myself snarl which brought his eyes back to me. His face was still hard but now alert.

        “ I don’t give a damn what my pack wants! Don’t lump me with them. They are fools who tiptoe on old profits! Fools who are too afraid to stand up for better lives...” my eyes stung as I felt those forbidden tears run over my cheeks. I grit my teeth holding back a cry.

        “ I want to be here. I want to be beside you. I want....”

Gil’s shoulders softened as I struggled to speak.

How pathetic am I?

Crying like a child.

What is worse, for what?

        “ Alric…” He reached out to me. But I backed away, too ashamed in my display of weakness.

        “ I shall leave you to rest. You are sure to be exhausted.” I bent over to retrieve my clothes and slid out of the room before he could speak again.

I hear him behind the door call out to me and fumble with his clothing. Quickly I sprang down the hall to the entrance of the estate where Niel stood by the welcome booth.

        “ Sir?” He said with a kind smile.

        “ Make sure my guest stays and rests.” I slid my leg into my gear as I spoke. “ I’m returning to the forest near the pond. If you are in need of assistance, send a bird and I’ll come again.” I tied the string to my top under my arm and gave Neil a firm look, dropping the robe in his hands.

        “ Make sure he rests!” I said with a demanding tone.

        “ Of course sir.” He bowed as I left the bathhouse.