'The Devil is Always Busy'

You have a lot of nerve! I reread the message once again.

A – 9:25 pm : Hey I'm sorry about my brother. Let me make it up to you. There is a nice bistro that I know of called Finoa's, we can go there. See you on Saturday @ 11 for lunch.

What makes you think I would willingly go out with you again? I threw my phone to the side. This ridiculous man is honestly too much! I got up and took a hot shower. Hmn? They changed the scent of the body wash? I raised my right arm to my nose. Fuck! I still smell like him! What kind of cologne does he use? I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

After completing a second round in the shower, I finally felt free of his scent. I switched on the television in the bedroom just to have something playing. I looked at the time and date on the screen. Nine minutes to the hour of ten. I have a bit of time until the appointment.

I walked into the closet. I took out a light green shirt, white skinny jeans, and a pair of white dress shoes. Fitting into my ensemble in under fifteen minutes, I gave myself a once over in the floor to ceiling mirror. I walked back into the room.

Almost forgot! I slipped on a gold watch and tucked my shades into my chest pocket. Before leaving, I turned off the television, grabbed my phone, my wallet and took up the car keys.

"Hello Mr. Dagasse, it's been a while, come in," said Pamilla Paige. She warmly greeted me at her office door. I smiled warmly to set the mood. The middle aged woman ushered me in motioning to the couch. I sat down.

"We're still doing that now?" She questioned in a soft tone. Not even one minute and you have seen right through me.

"Yes. It can't be helped at this point. If I don't sit here I'll go crazy for the entire session. You may actually have a reason to admit me." I joked. She laughed along with me.

"What brings you to my doors?" said Pamilla. I exhaled. Wow...

"So much has happened recently. I don't know where to start." She nodded earnestly.

"Anywhere you feel that is most pressing." She suggested. Start with what I feel is most pressing? A pair of intense black eyes came to the front of my mind.

"Ace Ackerman." His name rolled on my tongue like a fine wine. She motioned for me to go on.

"We are hanging out. I think?" The words I was looking for couldn't come to me. I exhaled a slow breath. The following minutes were spent in silence. "I don't know where to start." I confessed after running through the things I felt I should say.

"Start from the beginning and anything you don't want to say omit it." Oh. I leaned into the couch covering my eyes with my arm.

"We... I... met him a few days ago. It was by chance. Well, obviously. People don't go out looking for a syndicate boss to befriend."

I chuckled before continuing, by saying, "I kissed him while drunk. I kissed him while sober and then two more times after that. I feel like I've been falling apart ever since I first met him."

She tilted her head, "How so?"

"The way he makes feel is... different and that scares me." Peeking under my arm I looked at her stoic face.

"Why does that scare you?" said Pamilla.

"Two reasons. One... I'm not gay and two... being around him feels... right? From the conversations we had, to the..." I paused. A soft blush graced my cheeks. Again! I exhaled slowly, "...to the steamy kisses we've shared. I don't want to follow through, but I feel like I'll regret saying no."

She leaned forward in her chair. "Do you think that perhaps this fear you feel is towards what Mr. Ackerman stands for in your life?" I let her words swim around my head.

"No." I shook my head.

"Do you feel that this fear could be coming from this new discovery?" I looked at her. What?

"I'm sorry what new discovery?" I frowned.

"That you may have feelings for the opposite gender. That you quite possibly could be bisexual," said Pamilla. Only god would forgive me, as I laughed in her face. Yes there's him, but that's different...

"I'm not that."

"Then how would you label the way that Mr. Ackerman makes you feel?" She looked at me furrowing her eyebrows.

"I don't know. I want to acknowledge whatever that feeling is, but I don't want to either."

Pamilla sighed. "When you are with him, from a strictly platonic point of view, describe how he makes you feel."

How should I describe what I feel? The memory of his firm embrace holding me securely surfaced.

"Safe..."

His thoughtfulness when my hands were cold.

"Content..."

The fullness of my mouth as he teased my tongue. Giving me my heart's desire at the park entrance... Wanted? My vision cleared.

I looked over at Pamilla. "Do you think I love him? But that's not possible, I'm not... that. And, and to besides we've only met twice now!" Pamilla sighed in response.

"Even if you repeat it to yourself a hundred times over. It won't change how you feel. Maybe your heart was waiting on the right person to come along, before it could start beating again." I shook my head. That also isn't possible, my heart is dead.

I feel like I've gained nothing from this visit!

"If mother was here, I wouldn't be having this problem." I grumbled under my breath.

"Damien I thought we worked on getting rid of your mother complex?" Her eyes softened. I stayed silent. I really need to stop speaking my thoughts!

"That's not what I came here to talk about. Please don't bring her up!" In an attempt to cover my tracks, I spoke harshly to her. She raised her hands in defence.

"Ok. Would you like to change the topic?" Thank you.

"I have one for you." I dropped my hand and faced her directly.

"I'm listening." She smiled.

"No. I literally have something for you. On the topic of my mother. Naturally since I was her only child she left everything in my name. And I remember you loved one of her paintings. What was it called? Ah! 'X is for Xavier.' You spoke at length about it so I decided to give it to you as a gift." Her face lit up.

"I couldn't possibly. That piece is worth hundreds of thousands of euro!"

"You're wrong. Now that she has passed it's worth millions of euro, so take it. I will have it delivered to your office as soon as I get the chance." Tears welled in her eyes.

"Thank you so very much!" Two clear lines ran down her face. I nodded in response, fascinated by her reaction.

Why are people so obsessed with colour stretched on a canvas? Even the picture she wastes her tears for isn't worthy of them. It only depicts a young man pierced through the heart, by another's hand. She wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry that was really unprofessional."

"That was only a human expression of joy. What's there to be sorry about?" I smiled even more brightly.

"Let's do another change of topic." She stated in a calm voice.

"The left eye, left seat problem. I can't help it now. Do you have any suggestions?" Pamilla pondered on my words.

"My suggestion is still the same as before. You could always get prescription glasses or prescription contact lenses." Useless.

"Ah. Right, I forgot but, that isn't my style." I quickly backed out of her suggestions. The alarm set at the half hour mark went off. "Thank you for today," I said, as I got up from the sofa.

"You're welcomed Damien." She followed me to the door. "See you soon!" Her smile felt a little warmer than usual.

"Same to you." After making sure the receptionist had billed the correct credit card, I left 'Emotional Expressions Therapy Center'.

My stomach rumbled in protest as I drove back home. Tsk. You can wait. I ignored the sounds and placed all of my focus onto the road. As soon as I stepped foot into the condo the phone rang. Who is it now?

"Hello good day this is Mr. Dagasse." I locked the door. "I am free this Saturday." The keys were haphazardly thrown onto the counter along with my wallet. "No. That won't do. I need to make a personal visit." I walked straight into the bedroom. "That makes no sense." I took off the accessories with meticulous care. "We will discuss this in full on Saturday. Goodbye." I hung up the call.

Is she trying to tie my mind in knots? I shook off the previous conversation. Changing into a more comfortable set, short pants and polo. I dropped onto the bed. This life is too tiresome without you in it Mom. My eyelids grew heavy in the still, cold room.

"Ahh!" I screamed out in pain. My eyes struggled to focus. What the hell! I scrambled off the floor. Trying my best discern the intruders in my room, I willed my eyes to focus.

"He's up guys!" A voice shouted to my right. What?

"Get him some clothes! Something tight to draw in the ladies!" Another voice appeared to my left. Who? My vision slowly came back. Three men stood in my line of sight and a fourth appeared walking out of my open closet door.

"You my friend are not allowed to sleep away your life!" The face of the man to my right cleared up.

Fin! "Fucking hell! Fin! What are you doing in my room!" Furious did not touch the beginning of how I felt. I glared at the red head.

"I am here to collect Mr. Damien Dagasse. John filled us in, we know you need this night out!" I spun around. My eyes landed a relaxed looking John searching through my bed stand.

"Don't you have anything interesting stored here?" said John over his shoulder.

"Get out from there!" He paid me no mind and continued rummaging through the bed stand.

"You know John's not going to listen to you." Stan replied to me as he adjusted and readjusted my chain around his neck. My eyes bulged in disbelief.

"Here." A handful of clothes was shoved into my hand. Joshua held a pair of sneakers to my face. "Take these as well." He waved the low cut sneakers in front of me. Madness!

I walked busily into the adjacent bathroom and shut the door leaning on it as though my life depended on it. I flicked on the light switch and slid down the door to the cold tiles. I threw down the bundle of clothes. Feeling overwhelmed, I hugged my knees and tucked my head in.

A long period of time had passed, light knocking pulled me out of my solemn state.

"We're sorry. We know you don't like things that aren't in your control, but you have to go out tonight. For friendship's sake?" Stan's muffled voice entered underneath the door. I lifted my head resting it on my knee. Rough shaking of the door caused me to jump up in fright.

"Don't forget we all do things for the sake of friendship Damien. So if you don't get out here dressed and ready in less than fifteen minutes, I will demand the immediate settlement of your debt!" Joshua's demanding tone irked me. It only sank. It didn't catch on fire!

"You can afford at least five more yachts! Stop holding that accident over my head!" Aren't I supposed to be your love interest? What cheap love! Joshua's laughter burned my ears.

"So can you. So if you're not coming out. Cough the money up." Bloody Extortionist! I stripped and changed into the clothes. Since when did I own these things? Did Joshua dig this out of an abyss? When did I become the owner of this style? I looked at myself in the mirror.

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