One time, they went to the library. Xuyun noticed that Sui took a different book each time they went there. Sometimes, he would read history book, the other time he would read the encyclopedia of insects. He said he was a real moody bastard.
But, every time, Xuyun always found him glancing at his direction, then drew something on the blank space of the book. Then, he would secretly tuck in the piece of book page into his back. It was a drawing of him.
Then, the other time, they went to the amusement park. Despite his denseness, Sui finally could figure out that Xuyun disliked crowds. So, they went to a less crowded rides, such as Ferris Wheel and Haunted House. Despite his wimpy-looking face, Sui surprisingly didn’t scared of ghosts at all.
They would always stop by the ice cream vendor. Xuyun would always chose the vanilla flavour, and Sui would order different flavour each time.
One time, Xuyun asked him, “what kind of person do you like?” Sui thought for awhile, then answered, “a person who smiles and jokes a lot!” But, the other time, he would answer, “a person like you, senior!”
That was a pretty inconsistent answer, but still, Xuyun would try to smile a bit more each time.
One time, Sui would ask, “senior, are you gay?” carefully.
Sui would look at him a long time before answered, “no.”
Then Sui grew anxious. “Ah? So… do you feel embarrassed being seen with me like this?” He was about to let go of Xuyun’s hand, but the grip got tighter instead.
Xuyun lifted their holding hands, People around noticed his behaviour and stopped for awhile, before resuming their activities again.
“I am the number one fighter in the world. If I told everyone that I love Sui Shizi, who would dare slander me and making me feel embarrassed??”
Listening to his declaration, Sui was the one who got embarrassed instead.
“Sui, does your parents knew you’re gay?” Xuyun asked.
Still feeling embarrassed, Sui covered his face while answering, “I told them this morning that I’ve date a boy in junior high, and they kicked me out of the house.” Then he realized that he might had stepped on a landmine. He shut his mouth tightly and glanced at his senior.
Surprisingly, there was nothing like ugly expression on Xuyun’s face. He said, “don’t worry. Just introduce me to your parents and I’ll be your first official boyfriend.” He smiled gently.
Sui got panic instead. He quickly agreed with him and promised to introduce him to his parent. But, that was a total bluff. He couldn’t introduce a boyfriend in the same day as he got out of the closet! His parents still need time to accept him, if he asked them to accept one more person into the family they would surely faint from heart attack!
“If you ended up getting kicked out of your family, I can take you in.”
Sui choked. Xuyun saw his face flushed red, and laughed.
One time, they went to see a movie. There were no good movies that day, so, as per Sui’s request, they chose a comedy film. During the movie, Sui laughed all the time. He laughed so much he cried. It was the first time Xuyun saw Sui cried. Xuyun didn’t understand where was the funny part in the movie, so he watched Sui instead.
It was funny, how Sui cried while watching a comedy film, but didn't cry at all when facing death. No matter how many times he spent with him, this guy called Sui Shizi was still a mystery to him.
“I want to know a lot more thing about you,” Xuyun said to him. Just as you said before, I’ll ask a lot of question, and in return, I’ll date you for ten hours.
Sui felt the same way.
The other time, he dragged Xuyun to Xuyun junior high. Unfortunately, it was class time, so they couldn’t do as their please. They sneakily went in and walked through secret passages only Xuyun knew.
It was a military school. Xuyun told him that the lessons were all the same as the other school, just that the physical education time was longer than other lessons. Sui said to himself, ‘I’ll faint everyday if I were in this school’ and sighed in relief.
They watched as the students were doing practice in the field. They were hiding behind a huge tree trunk. It was shady so the security guards wouldn’t be able to spot them.
“I was an orphan, so the government took care of me,” Xuyun told him. He never told this to anyone, as everyone knew already by rumours. It was the first time he admitted this himself.
Sui surely knew about this, But Xuyun knew that he wouldn’t ask further, afraid that it would opened up some terrible memories. So, he continued, “I used to live with my uncle. He was a soldier. One day, they told me he died in a failed mission.”
Xuyun could see immediately the sadness in Sui’s eyes. Not long after, tears fell. He cried.
“Senior, it must be so hard for you! Huwaa….Huwaa…!”
Afraid that they would hear the cries, Xuyun covered Sui’s mouth with his hand. He chuckled, “what are you crying about? You’re even more sad than me.”
“Of course, you’re a monster, senior! You wouldn't cry much! Let me cry for you! Sob…sob..sob…,” Sui continued his cries.
Xuyun pulled him into his embrace. “Not true. Even monsters cry, you know?” Countless time, he cried countless times everytime Sui died. “Sui Shizi, don’t die on me, okay?”
Sui’s cries stopped. He grew stiff in Xuyun’s embrace. After awhile, he hugged Xuyun back. “What do you mean? I wouldn’t die! I’m the one who should say this to you, senior, you have too many enemies!”
Xuyun smiled. “Fine, I will not die on you, don’t you die on me either, okay?”
Sui smiled. He nodded, but his tears kept flowing. It didn't matter, senior couldn’t see him anyway.
Xuyun’s arms tightened on Sui’s waist.
Let’s keep on living on this moment.
Don’t turn your head to the back, don’t let your eyes searching for the light in the front either.
Let’s keep on living on this moment.
Every time, one or two hours before 6 PM, Sui would try to split with Xuyun. Seeing this pattern each time, Xuyun slowly knew why; he didn’t want Xuyun to see him die. This irked Xuyun. So, everytime, he would either refuse or divert Sui’s attention from the time.
One day, Sui would tell him again, “I’m a weird person, senior, be careful of me in the future. Sometimes I would prefer meat to vegetables, sometimes I would prefer fruits instead!”
Sometimes, Xuyun teased him, “does that mean sometimes you like me and sometimes you don’t?”
After awhile, he answered, “that’s right! I think, if this day would repeat again, maybe I would not confess to you like today, senior! Next time, how about you confess to me instead?”
Xuyun smiled.
Every time, Sui would get out of the bed early. Sometimes, he would tidy his room, sometimes, he would clean the bathroom instead. Sometimes, he would do both. He would tell his parents he loved them. Sometimes, he would prefer kissing them instead without telling them anything. Then, sometimes, he would stopped by the post office to deliver his letter. Sometimes, he would hide the letter somewhere in his room instead.
But, every time, every 8 AM, he would always be in that hallway, glancing nervously to the direction Xuyun would appear, bowed to him and confess. No matter how inconsistent he was, he would never skip confessing to him even for a day.
“Sure, if we can return the time, I’ll be the one to confess to you instead,” Xuyun said, sincerely.
That day, Sui died for the 29th time.
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