When you care for someone, you would step out of your comfort zone to help them. Even if that means doing something you never thought was possible. Slowly opening up to someone isn't as scary as it seemed. Ziah just makes me feel something… a feeling I haven't felt in a while. He makes me feel… me again. How has he done this? When did it become normal to talk to him? Text him? When did I start letting walls down and allow him in? I didn't... He busted the walls and made himself know. He has made things easier.

However, I am noticing something. Similarities. I see my old self in him… and I'm terrified he will become who I am now. I need to help. Put aside my fear and be there. As a friend.

…………………….

Saturday morning is officially here. I woke up in a good mood, considering yesterday. I sigh. I hope Joziah is okay. I sat down at the table and my phone buzzed. I took a bite of my food and smiled at the text message from Ziah.

Ziah: how the fuck do I bake chicken?

Me: good morning to you too sunshine.

Ziah: HOW. THE. FUCK. HELP.

Me: the fuck? You serious?

Ziah: naw, I'm just texting you at 10 am just to fuck with you.

I snorted.

Me: Babe, you don't need to tease me like that.

Ziah: NOT THE TIME. HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?

Me: How the hell have you lived without your gf there?

Zaih: Instant noodles and hope.

Me: I just puked in my mouth.

Zaih: help!!

Me: dude, when you get ready to cook, turn the oven to 350 and wait till it beeps then pop the bitch in and let it cook till its not pink in the middle. Maybe 30 to 45 mins. For a side, since you are hopeless, pick up instant potatoes. Not as good as fresh, but easy to where even you can follow the instructions.

Zaih: I'm going to ignore the fact you bluntly called me an idiot. But You rock babe. I'll call you after! Dinner is at 6! Wish me luck!

Me: good luck! Don't burn the house down.

Ziah: No promises.

Me: If you do, leave me something in your will

Ziah: all my precious coffee.

Me: die

Ziah: Haha you don't mean that babe.

Ziah: Zai?

I jokingly ignore his text while I wash my plates and get dressed to go for a ride. This feels nice. Joking and bantering.

As I'm slipping my shoes on to head out the door my phone rings.

“Hello. Lt. Mala.”

“Why the fuck did you not text me back dipshit?”

“Uh, I'm leaving my house?" I grunt as I pull my bike through the door, "You're acting too overprotective. My fragile heart can't take it.” I say in an over dramatic tone.

“You are worse than my girlfriend. Making me wait for responses for hours.”

“It's only been 10 mins.” I say as I lock the door.

“I thought you love me differently.” He teases.

“Sure babe. Always.” I pause, “Uh, how are you today?”

There was silence and shuffling. “I am okay. I called to check on Jordan and they had to sedate him because he was becoming a bit violent. But, they are going to try to get him the help he needs. He still will have to face jail time for everything but maybe being there will keep him safe in a different way. I'm not sure. I may just be… trying to look on the bright side.”

I nod as I carried my bike from my apartment, and headed down the stairs. “Well, you may be right. He can receive the help he needs where he will be and when it's time to come out, I believe they can help set him up with help with the VA or something."

He goes quiet again. "Ziah? You know you can talk to me right?"

He hums but doesn't say anything. I bite my lip, "Joziah?"

"Yeah, I know. I just worry."

"Worry about what?"

Silence.

"Well, when you are wanting to talk I am here."

“Yeah. I know. Anyways, what are you planning on doing today?”

“Really have to ask?” I chuckle as I get to the last step and place the bike down.

“Let me guess, mounting your bike as we speak?”

“You know it.”

“Be safe Zai.”

“No worries babe. And Ziah?”

"Yea?"

"I do care about you." 

"Thanks Zaire. Really." 

We hang up and I glance at my phone. One day, I hope he can talk to me as well as I can with him. I mount my bike and begin my ride.