Five hours of being home alone and mom announces her ungrateful arrival by slamming the door shut and yelling my name. At this point, my name is surely worn out.
"WHAT?" I yell from my room upstairs.
"YOU WANNA TELL ME WHY YOU WEREN'T AT ANGER MANAGEMENT TODAY? I SWEAR YOU ARE A FUCKING DISAPPOINTING EXCUSE FOR A DAUGHTER! 18 CURSED YEARS WITH YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS!"
I'm sick and tired of her calling me a disappointment, useless, ungrateful, pathetic, a mistake, the devil's child, and so much worst. I didn't do anything to that women, nothing to make her hate me so much.
Once I became 15, I gave up trying to be the perfect Christian daughter she always screamed at me to be. My friend helped me dye my chestnut brown hair a blood shade of red and I've kept it that color to this day. I wanted my hair to express the color of how I felt.
Angry.
I figured, hey, if she hates me so much, why don't I just be the child she thinks I am. It made it easier for me to cope. This way, when she yells at me, I can accept it because I know I did something worth the words.
"PATRICIA GET YOUR UNHOLY ASS DOWN HERE! I'VE GOT WORDS FOR YOU!"
I'm not one to let words hurt me, but when those words come out of my mother's mouth... it hurts. It doesn't break me, it shatters me and the shards cut me deep. I don't cry anymore. I use my fists to talk.
Fueled up with a new wave of rage, I make my way downstairs and stand face to face with Mommy Dearest herself.
"Patricia. I am sick and tired of you behaving like your possessed. I've tried re- baptizing you, praying, anger management and still... nothing gets through to you. I tried loving you, but I just can't put up with this charade anymore. The truth is... I've decided to disown you this afternoon. With our family's wealth, I decided that you don't deserve a dime. I've written you out the Will, and since you're legally allowed to live on your own... well... good luck out there. The real world is a bitch. I hope you rot in hell." With that, she hands me the keys to one of the many cars we own.
"I already packed your suitcase, it's in the living room. Grab all your stuff and leave. I'm off to take a shower, please be gone by the time I'm done."
I can only stand there in shock as my mother casually walks upstairs.
She stops halfway up the stairs. "Oh, one more thing. Because I'm a gracious woman, I'll let you live in our old house on the other side of town. The house is in my name so you don't have to worry about paying for it. See? Would Mother Dearest do that?" She continues to make her way up the stairs.
That's when I realize the tears on my face.
She wants me gone? I don't know why I'm surprised. I should have seen this coming. You know what? I'm not gonna take her "gracious" offer. I'm not living in her pre-paid house. The fact that she still wants to control me despite disowning me is sick and she can keep her damn car keys. I'm taking my suitcase and getting as far away from this place as I can.
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