Starring at Alexi on the other side of my office door really wasn't that surprising. We both had gotten pretty scared by Creed's foot yesterday. I could only imagine what Alexi saw since Creed was basically living in his area. Alexi didn't say much other than hello. He came and sat on the couch, he didn't have an appointment scheduled for today. I was really pleased he knew enough to come to see me when he needed to even if he didn't have an appointment.

"How are you after yesterday Zev?"

"I'm ok. Even though I'll never be able to remove the image of seeing through his foot from my brain."

"You're lucky that's all you saw, He measured the damn thing and he kept the spike as a fucking trophy. It was on my fucking kitchen counter this morning in a fucking bag."

"I'm glad I checked out then."

"I've had a lot of blood on my hands but nothing scared me more than having his blood on my hands."

"You care about him Alexi, that's understandable."

"I mean I don't hate him, But care about him? That seems like a stretch Zev."

"Alexi, you and I both know you care about him. You are just having trouble wrapping your head around that since everything you've ever been met with is violence and that's what you best respond to."

"How dare you out me like that."

"Have to face your truth at some point, Alexi."

Alexi sat on the couch quietly before he said something that made my brain nearly fry in my skull.

"I'm pretty sure my uncle is fucking Dr.Kingsley."

"Alexi!"

"What? Im pretty sure its the truth!"

"How do you know this truth?"

"I saw them kiss. Dr. Kingsley knows I was them too."

"How long have you known about this?"

"I saw it a few days after my uncle came back."

"Have you tried talking about this with your uncle or Dr.Kingsley?"

"Absolutely not! Are you nuts? Im not just about to walk up to either of them and confess what I saw, That's their business!"

"Alexi, Does it bother you that Dr.Kingsley might be sleeping with your uncle?"

"No. It's just really weird to me. I've never seen him ever kiss anyone, My uncle I mean. I didn't even think he was capable of those emotions."

"Do you think Creed or yourself are capable of those emotions?"

"Why?"

"Answer the question, It will help me with your thought process."

"Fine. Creed maybe, he's loved before. Me, no. I've never tried to love anything."

I really hated lying to Alexi about why I was asking about if he or Creed were capable of those emotions, but I wanted to know his view. I felt for Creed, That poor guy was in love with Alexi. Here Alexi was claiming he has never tried to love anything. Creed was going to have a hard time bringing Alexi around to see through his eyes.

"Hey, Zev?"

"Yes, Alexi?"

"Your right you know?"

"About what Alexi?"

"Caring about Creed. I do care about him. But that's a weakness I can't afford to have, not now or ever."

- - - - - - - - - -

After the time I spent talking to Alexi it made me question a lot of things. More so the part about what he said about caring for Creed being a weakness he couldn't afford to have. I mean he probably wasn't wrong, When you loved someone more so in this line of work they could be used against you to get an outcome you wanted. It was really interesting knowing that still all these mafia members still fell in love and had children. What part of the pros outweighed the cons and when did that become something so easily ignored?

I started to question this deeper and I found myself hunting down Jackson to get his take on the whole thing. He was super easy to find. He was just leaving Maddox's office, He looked sharp in his navy blue suit and his slicked back. He slightly smiled when he saw me.

"Good afternoon Zev."

"Afternoon, I have something I'd like to pick your brain about."

"That's deeply concerning and intriguing."

The smiled that broke out on my face made me realize how much my mood increased when I was around him when he wasn't doing things that made me want to punch him in the forehead. Being around him and Rosie made me happy.

"So the thing I want to ask you is about love."

"What about it?"

"What about love makes it a weakness and if it is a weakness why are so many members of the mafia family have people they love, like wives, husbands and children? I don't understand it? If it is so dangerous, why put yourself in that position?"

"That's---"

"That's easy Zev, Sometimes even the worst of us need something to love and hold above everyone else. Having a weakness isn't a bad thing. It keeps you an honest individual." Maddox said leaning up against his large door frame his son laid on his shoulder as he bounced his softly.

"Good afternoon Maddox."

"Afternoon, Sorry I didn't mean to cut you off Jackson or interrupt your conversation."

"No, Your good Maddox, You had a really good answer to Zev's question."

Jackson suddenly grabbed my hand his eyes filled with some odd. Almost like a child's curiosity.

"Why are you suddenly asking about the way love works in our line of work?"

"Honestly, Alexi said something and I really got thinking about it. Im not as knowledgeable in your job field as you so I thought you would have a good answer to my over-thought question."

"What did Alexi say?"

"He just said that having someone you care about is a weakness."

"He's not wrong, but as Maddox said its not a bad thing, Talk about this later? I have a phone meeting I can't be late for."

"Sure."

As Jackson started to walk away I found myself wanting to give him something.

"Hey! Jackson wait up for a moment!"

He stopped and turned around. I smashed my lips against his roughly. He kissed me back just as intensely. When I stepped back I spoke.

"I care about you, Jackson."

I started to walk away from him and I heard him call for me to wait and to stop.

"Get back to work Jackson, Talk about this later."

I wondered if he understood what I meant by telling him I cared for him. Maybe he would understand that he was my weakness. A new and scary weakness. One that wasn't a bad thing to have.