-Oliver-

I was still shivering when I finally got home from school. I avoided everyone at the orphanage when I climbed to the second floor, and went to hide in the bathroom I shared with my roommates. Everyone else were still outside, playing in the snow, so I was left alone.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my pale face and red eyes. I was scared. Not only because of Jack, but because of the three people I was supposed to follow. Getting threatened by Jack, and having a panic attack in the middle of the day hadn't been the worst.

No. I screwed up big time, and now I really was in trouble.

After getting overwhelmed by seeing Jaden so angry, I didn't go to the next class. I stayed there, sitting against a wall close to the back entrance. People passed me by but no one even looked at me. This time I was glad I was invisible to them. Being attacked by my worst memory so soon after being attacked by Jack had left me weak and brittle. Jaden hadn't even been that angry, and in normal situation I could've dealt with his annoyance pretty easily, but since I was still overwhelmed by Jack... that happened.

Leaning my head back against the wall, I closed my eyes and focused on breathing. Before I knew it, the period ended, and the loud echoes of the dozens of bells almost tore my ears apart. My fear was growing worse again. If I couldn't get up from the floor, it would be only a matter of time before Jack would find me.

"...you better spend every second of the day two steps behind him. If you don't, I'll disfigure you in ways even your own mother can't recognize you ever again..."

I had to get up. I had to get up. I had to...!

I had no idea how I did it, but I was back on my feet. I couldn't stop shaking, but I was walking. The things I saw in front of me shifted from classmates having fun to angry gazes and big fists that weren't really there, but in my memories.

I was going to find Jaden and do what Jack wanted, so I could go back living the life of an unimportant mouse. I couldn't take it any longer than that. Every time I thought I had fought back Jack's angry face, and the two hits he had given me, a loud sound or a fast movement too close to me nearly sent me panicking again.

Panic attacks... Those were the reason I couldn't be fostered. Those were the reason why I was never even considered to be adopted. Who would want a faulty child like me? I mean, I was doing better than a few years ago, but... This was a good reminder that I was not over it. That day...

I saw a flock of red hair, long, blonde curls and a mohawk that was starting to lose the battle against gravity. I finally managed to push everything aside just enough that I could be considered a sane person. I had something to focus on now. I was doing as Jack wanted so I didn't need to be that afraid for now.

I made my way through to the three of them. They were waiting for the next class to start, so I found myself a quiet spot where I could listen to them without being noticed. I could hear them, but they didn't talk much. It was mostly Tilly who spoke, but she seemed only interested in food.

"So, no take-out? Fine, I'll make something once we're home..."

That was the only time she mentioned anything that could be considered as their hiding place, before the class started. I stayed there in the hallway, not knowing what to do. I would be in trouble if someone spotted me loitering around without a pass, but I didn't want to go to my class either – I would be late anyway, since it was held at the other end of the school, on the second floor.

When the hallway was almost empty, I walked to the closest restroom and hid inside one of the stalls. I waited there the entire time, accompanied only by my thoughts. I was slowly getting back to feeling nothing. Good. Things would be much easier if I didn't have emotions or feel fear.

Once again I considered my options, now that I had calmed down, but I came to the same conclusion as before: I had to do what Jack asked. No matter what kind of option I came up with, they all ended the same: Jack would get angry at me. He would find out whatever I would try to do, and that would be the end of me. I just knew it.

When the final class was over, I stepped out of the restrooms, and waited for the trio to come out of their classroom. If they really had detention, I still had some time to follow them, which I did. Sadly, they still didn't say much that could interest Jack, but I followed them anyway.

And then I did the stupidest thing...

"Fuck, I forgot my jacket."

It happened so fast I had no time to react. Arch sprung around in mid-sentence, and immediately ran into me. Because of all the people around us, I had to walk really close to them, and suddenly I had this big guy body-slamming into me so hard I fell backwards. I was immediately caught by him. I stopped breathing the second I felt his hands on my arms, gripping onto me so tightly I was sure I would get bruises.

"You," Arch said, peering down at me.

I gasped, snapping out of the memory of his angry gaze. He did nothing to me, but he stared at me with squinted eyes, like he was trying to read my mind. When he looked at me like that, I honestly thought he could do that.

He then let go of me, and suddenly I could breathe again.

"Watch where you're going," he said with a smirk, and I honestly couldn't tell if it was a mean or a friendly one. Then he left.

I didn't stay there any longer. I nearly ran all the way back to the orphanage, and there I was, staring at myself in the mirror. This was how I spent my last day as a fifteen-year-old. How I wished it was just a dream, a really bad dream. When I woke up that morning, I had no idea that by the end of the day, I had finally stopped being invisible to someone. To two people. To two of the worst people in the entire school. My wish really had backfired in the most horrible way.

"Ollie?" it was Gecko.

I bit my teeth together, trying to force my voice calm. "Yeah?"

"I made a snowman! Come see it!" the small boy chirped happily behind the door.

"In a minute," I told him.

"Okay!"

I kept staring at the door, even though I could hear him run out of the room. For a moment, I thought about telling someone in the orphanage about Jack, but I feared he would find out and hurt the kids I lived with. I couldn't let anything happen to Gecko and the others. I had no idea what Jack was capable of, but if the rumors were true... People who crossed paths with the two gangs had terrible luck follow them for the rest of their lives. Accidents, burned houses... some even went missing...

I took a deep breath, and checked my reflection again. I was in this on my own. All I had to do was find out where Jaden's hiding place was. Of course, they wouldn't just start blabbering about directions, or speak out loud the address, so I had to do something more than just follow them.

I was scared that it wasn't enough. I feared I would get into more trouble from now on. I had no idea if I could trust Jack to leave me alone even if I managed to finish my task. Most likely not. I had pictured a lot of different ways about how this would end, and none of them were good or even tolerable.

Part of me wasn't even surprised this happened. My life was just a big pile of bad luck, and that part of me had accepted it long ago. The other part that still dreamed about a better future was the part that made things more difficult for me. I wasn't going far in my life, the statistics told me that. Homelessness, mental illnesses, criminality and death were my biggest odds anyway, and hopes and dreams couldn't change the fact that the majority of orphans would fail in society. So... Maybe I was better off if I just accepted my fate.

There was no hope for me anyway.