POV: Al

I wish I would have done something. I wish I could have helped Kai. If I just had known what to do he wouldn’t walk away right now. Walking away. Everyone does that one day. Calm down Al there is nothing I could do. There is no point in crying over spilled milk. Damn what the hell am I even doing.

Before I could realize what I was doing I stood up and run after Kai. No Idea what I would say I was a spontan person. Hopefully something good will come out by it, I thought as I grabbed Kais arm.

„Wait“ I said Louder then I wanted to.

I felt Kais muscles tighten and his shoulders tensing up. He didn’t turn around. Damn that was a bad sign right? Biting my lip I said as composed as I could: „Are you alright? That was your dad right? If you want to talk about it you can always talk to me you know that right?“ He didn’t answer. „…Kai?“ I added unsure if I made it worse or better with my desperate try to ... To what actually? What was I trying to do? Help him? Make him stay? What ever I was trying to do it was out of egoism. I know that. And I hate it. I have to free myself from egoism. But that doesn’t work. Egoism is the basic of every human being. So what would be best for him? To let him get his freedom. I thought remembering the conversation we had and that it seemed that was his goal. „Freedom.“ I mumbled. That made Kai finally turn his head. I let go of his arm and said: „Your looking for Freedom right?“ Without giving him time to reply I said „I’ll help you. I might not look like it but I am pretty experienced with meditation and that really helps to find inner freedom. I can teach you and when we finished our training I leave you alone… If you want me to of course.“

It was silent for a while. Kai just looked at me with his beautiful ocean blue Eyes that showed a whirl of unreadable thoughts and emotions. They were not only ocean blue they also reminded me on the ocean: deep, fleeting, lively, silent and bubbly at the same time, beautiful and full of scars by the trash humans create.

I was so captivated in those beautiful eyes that the voice that came from owner of these eyes threw me harshly back to reality.

„Why would you do that?“ Kai asked. His voice soaked by bitterness and appraisal.

Do what? Oh yes the teaching. That was a good question.

„Out of Egoism.“ I stated honest.

I was Patiently waiting for his answer looking at his shocked and confused expression. Well, better shocked and confused than bitter and observing I thought. That was an improvement right?

„W-What?“ He stuttered. Cute. It seems like he begins to stutter when something happens he didn’t expect.

„W- Why would- What would you get out of that?“

He seemed seriously confused. So I gave him the answer of his Question.

„Everything is based on Egoism. If you do something because you want to help someone you don't do it for them you do it for yourself. You give beggars Money so that you feel better about yourself. That you don’t feel guilty. You help other people, only to gain something for yourself, if it is self-respect, admiration, money or fame. Everything is based on Egoism. I don't really know why I wanted to teach you but I know everything Humans do is out of Egoism. Thats why I wanted to help you.“ I finished my second speech about my mindset for today.

My words ringed in the following silence.

Silence was a very important part of conversations. A lot of People underestimate the importance of silence. Sometimes silence can mean more than thousand words. There are a lot of different kinds of silence: awkward silence, comfortable silence, tense silence, warm silence and and and…

But this silence were nothing more than silence. Without any unpleasant or pleasant emotions. Just silence.

It felt like the time stood still. Until Kai broke the trance with his answer.