“Conner likes being told how much he’s appreciated?” Xael can’t help but laugh a bit. “Well isn’t that something.”

I nod in agreement, arranging some rolls of bandages on the lowest shelf of the cabinet.

“You’d think it would be easy,” I say, picking up a thing of disinfectant and setting it down in its proper spot. “Give him some compliments, tell him that I’m glad to have him as my brother, tell him I love him.”

“He takes the compliments as sarcasm.”

“Or he thinks I’m making fun of him, and then he beats me even harder.” I close the cabinet a little harder than I should. Out of the corner of my eye I see Xael jump. “Sorry.”

“You’re good.”

“Wassup nerds?”

Xael nearly jumps out of her skin at the sound of Cray’s voice.

“Maybe knock next time?” I suggest, stepping over and setting a hand on Xael’s shoulder. Cray chuckles, nodding.

“So,” he begins, “what’re you two doing in here?”

“We’re organizing Sarah’s stuff. I don’t know if you saw before this, but it was awful.”

“I’m sure it was.” Cray strokes his non-existent beard. “Would you guys like some help?”

“I don’t know if a third person is gonna make things easier, but sure,” Xael says. “Could you group everything together on the counter? Put blades with blades and such.”

The word blades draws my attention. As Xael and I put away some other medical supplies, half of my attention is on Cray’s hands as they move around shiny silver objects.

“Once we put these away, we’re done!” Xael exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly. “Where’s my phone? I need to take a picture.”

“Is it in your pockets?” Cray questions. Xael pats her pockets and shakes her head, flashing me a small smile.

“I think I might’ve left it downstairs,” she states. “Would you mind grabbing it for me while I finish putting these away?”

“Sure.” I spin around and march out of the room, Cray and Xael’s conversation about a musician fading as I walk further away.

Once I’m downstairs it occurs to me that Xael set her phone down on Sarah’s desk.

“And she was putting away the blades.”

She sent me out of the room for a reason.

“And what would you need blades for, dear brother?”

I jump at the sight of Conner leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and one foot pressed up against the wall.

“None of your business,” I reply, immediately regretting my words when Conner moves to stand in front of me.

“Everything you do is my business,” Conner growls, grabbing my shoulder and throwing me into the wall. “You aren’t free of me. You will never get rid of me.” An arm presses up against my throat, pinning me to the wall. “You either answer me, or you suffer. What do you need blades for?”

“No reason,” I choke out, desperately trying to pry Conner’s arm off of my neck. I’m gasping for breath a second later when he elbows my ribs.

“I asked a question,” he hisses, taking his free hand and pressing it into my shoulder, right where the cuts are.

“Fuck!” I scream, feeling some cuts reopen at the pressure.

“What’s this I’ve discovered?” Conner retracts his arm and rolls up my sleeve, smirking as he does. “Oh, what’s under this bandage?”

I bite my lip as Conner rips the bandage off of my shoulder, every cut on my shoulder stinging at the sudden pull.

“You really want attention that bad, huh?” Conner sneers, loosening his press against my throat. “You’ve gotta scream it to the world that you’re an attention whore.”

“Stop it,” I gasp as he grinds the heel of his palm against my cuts.

“Stop what?” he asks innocently. “Stop… this?”

Without warning he stops pressing into my cuts and instead slams his fist into my shoulder.

“Conner!”

No.

Conner and I both turn our heads to look at Jonny, who is angrier than he was that time Conner kicked Sophie.

“Jonny, what’s up, man?” Conner steps away from me immediately, putting on a friendly face.

“Don’t you what’s up me, Conner,” Jonny growls. “My office. Go.”

“But-”

“Now!”

Jonny turns and watches Conner walk down the hallway and enter Jonny’s office. I seize this opportunity to roll my shirt sleeve back down and kick the bandage away.

“How long?” Jonny asks, still looking at his office door.

“It was just a one time thing,” I say. “He’s just angry about something.”

“This isn’t the first ‘one-time thing’, Jason.”

“I know! I know.” I sigh and rub the back of my neck, trying to make my lie as convincing as possible. “But it really isn’t a constant thing. I swear.”

“If I talk to Conner, is he going to say the same thing?”

Of course he will. He isn’t just gonna give himself up that easy, he’s not a complete idiot.

“Yes, he will.”

Jonny nods, turning to face me. “Come talk to me if you want to confess that this isn’t just a few occasional incidents.”

“If it ever turns into a constant thing, you’ll be the first to know,” I assure the man. He nods and walks towards his office.

Once Jonny’s inside his office I jog as quietly as I can over to it, then lean my ear as close to the door as I can get without actually touching it.

“You pinned your brother against the wall by pressing an arm to his throat.” Sounds follow Jonny’s sentence, signalling that he’s sat down in his chair. “Mind telling me why?”

“I got angry.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Yes.” Conner’s voice is as monotonous as it could be.

“What are you angry at?”

“Something.”

“Is it a who, not a what?”

“What is this, a therapy session?”

Jonny chuckles a bit. I hear some rhythmic tapping. Jonny’s bouncing a pen on his desk.

“If that is what this needs to be, then yes. Who are you angry at?”

Me. And Xael. He’s never not angry at us. He hates us for no actual reason-

“Myself.”

Conner’s statement startles both me and Jonny, as the sounds of the pen tapping stop.

“Why are you angry at yourself?”

“I’m a freak.”

I take a step away from the door, then a second, and a third, until I’m at the staircase. Why did I listen in the first place?

“Jason?” Cray calls from behind me. I whirl around and see both him and Xael waiting at the top of the stairs. “You’re still here. Xael’s phone was actually still in Sarah’s office, so there wasn’t a good reason for you to come down here.”

“Sorry, Jason,” Xael says. “It’s my mistake.”

It wasn’t a mistake.

Does she see me as an attention-seeker?

“So, what’re we doing now?” I ask, going up the stairs two at a time. Cray and Xael both shrug.

“We could go hang with Sophie and Sarah,” Xael suggests. “Tell Sarah the good news.”

“I’m not sure that’s what she’ll take it as, but sure!” Cray exclaims, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we walk down the hallway. Xael falls in step with us on the other side of me, and I roll Cray’s arm off of me.

“Conner held you up,” Xael whispers, so quiet that I nearly don’t hear her. I nod, listening to Cray attempt to whistle what I can only assume is a Disney song.

“Bandage came off,” I murmur in response. “Conner did it.”

“What’re you two whispering about?” Cray stage-whispers. Xael giggles, and I swear to you her giggle is the most beautiful thing in the world. It’s like- well I don’t know what it’s like. There aren’t any words to describe it.

“Anyone got a thesaurus?” I ask, looking between my two companions. They both shake their heads. “A thesaurus app?”

“Just because I’m a writer doesn’t mean I use thesaurus’ and dictionaries,” Xael laughs. “I can barely type half the time and I rely on Google autocorrect to fix my mistakes or, at the very least, point them out.”

“Wait, you write?” Cray shouts. Xael and I roll our eyes and face-palm in unison.

“She does,” I answer. “She’s really damn good at it too.”

“I want to read, where is it published and what is it called.”

“It’s called Hey Delilah, on this website called Tapwad.”

“Wattpad,” Xael corrects me. “It’s on a website called Wattpad. Ignore this one.”

“And you read it?” Cray asks me. I nod, lacing my fingers together behind my head.