The scene in the park was much like it had been the evening before, only the light had reversed. They walked the same path, the shadows of early morning crisscrossing the path. Her head down, hands thrust deep into her pockets, Ellette walked a couple of steps ahead of Rand. Her sleep had once again been interrupted by horrifically real dreams, and she ready for some answers. Though he realized her urgency, Rand couldn't help but enjoy the morning, flute in hand, ready for whenever Ellette found her answers.
"Where's the damn bridge!" Ellette grumbled. A yuppie sitting on the grass reading looked up at her, startled. She scowled at him, daring him to pull out that mace he was reaching for. Rand, catching the exchange, upped his pace and steered Ellette ahead by the elbow.
"If I had known you were going to act like this, I would have never let you out of your cage," Rand whispered to her. She jerked out of his grasp.
"Unlike you, I am not a morning person. Also, unlike you, I haven't been able to sleep for the past week!"
"You could at least try to be civil. You're not the only one with problems," he snapped back.
"You think I don't know that? I deal with people's problems every night. I can't have a dreamless sleep, or even a pleasant dream without ending up on some kind of crusade for the needy. These are my dreams! Dreams are the one complete escape, and I can't dream." She flung her hands in the air and began walking down the path again, Rand trailing after.
She knew people were staring, but she didn't care. They lived in the same city she did, they had surely seen a raving lunatic before. "Now I have nightmares. I just wanted to forget every one else's problems and enjoy my life since I actually have one." She stopped and sat down on the still faintly dewy grass.
"It used to be a comfort to go out and save people in my dreams like a super hero or something. It was a comfort to know people were worse off than myself, and to know that I was needed somehow, even if I thought the people I saved were imaginary. It was nice to be able to think that if I ever was in that situation that I could be useful." She put her head in her hands and Rand knelt beside her. "Now I just want to be normal."
"There is no such thing as normal." Rand and Ellette both looked up to find a tiny woman looking down at them, her curly locks ablaze in the sunlight. "Heroes often don't have a choice. You did, and you can't back out now."
Ellette looked up at Jessie, squinting at the sun. "What do you mean I had a choice? I didn't choose to be insane." Ellette said, brushing a few strands of hair from her forehead.
"Not to be insane, to help people. Let me put it this way. You tore down a barrier in you mind willingly to escape your own life. That wall can't be rebuilt. The lives of others will forever touch your own."
"Who are you?" Rand asked.
Jessie smiled down at him.
"You may call me Jessie, though that is not the name the fair folk know me by."
Rand only blinked, not knowing how to respond.
"I know what's going on." Ellette said, glaring at the woman. "You're a schitzo, the voices who talk to you told you come harass me, right? Why me? I don't need this." To Ellette's surprise, Jessie laughed.
"You're not so far from wrong. Only if I'm schizophrenic, what's your problem? Normal people can tell the difference between dreams and reality."
"I don't know," Ellette whispered, her voice cracking slightly.
"If this conversation doesn't turn constructive very soon, I suggest you leave." Rand rumbled. Ellette couldn't help but feel heartened by his protectiveness.
"I only want to help, but as you well know, it hurts to heal," Jessie said.
"What then," Ellette asked, "what do you want me to do? What is it you want to tell me?"
"You must stop denying who you are. You must accept that your dreams are not dreams."
"I know they aren't..."
"Then stop fighting them! You are a hero of the night. What are dreams to you is reality to others. You cannot be hurt or killed, but you must help."
"I'm no hero. I would be living on the streets if it wasn't for Rand," Ellette protested.
"You were a hero for Rand," Jessie said. The words hit home. She began to turn away, having said what she'd needed to.
"Wait." Ellette said, getting to her feet. The little wild haired woman stopped. "Even heroes get a chance to rest, even if only for a night. Do I ever get a rest? All I really wanted was respite. I can't work for a living..."
"Or stay halfway sane," Rand put in. Ellette smiled at him, knowing that he was implying that he'd support her if she couldn't support herself.
"If I can't sleep properly once in a while," she continued.
"No one can live on thanks alone," Jessie said, her attention once again focused on Ellette. "Respite will come with acceptance. Before you began to deny and fight your dreams, did they come every night and disrupt your life?"
Ellette couldn't answer, she couldn't remember.
"Only when you wanted to be someone else did they began to disturb you."
Ellette sighed and looked down. There was never an easy way out. Rand put his hand on her shoulder.
"She's gone," he said.
"She made it sound so simple. But it's not," she said with a long sigh. "I don't know if I know how to go back..."
"At least you have something aim for, something to try," he said.
She nodded. He was right, as she was beginning to find usually was. They stood in silence for a while, watching the world come to life as the morning progressed.
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