After we hang up I turned my Laptop on, pluged my headphones in to listen to Jordan Mackampa and searched for DIY presents. After half an hour of cards full of glitter, handmade best-friends-bracelets and self-made body lotions I closed my laptop with a sigh. There was nothing Yasmin would want. Damn. Why was finding a present for someone so hard? I rubbed the back of my head and searched my mind for anything Yasmin would Love. It didn’t work. Maybe I have to start over. What can I do? … My mind seemed so empty in response to that question, It kind of made me depressed. Photos! That was the one and only thing I was good at. I could make a photo album. But then again I am really bad at designing stuff and I don’t want to just print random photos. That would be so meaningless, as if I didn’t care for her. But I do care! A lot. She was there for me every time I needed her, and every time I didn’t need her too. That thought made me chuckle softly.

I could ask someone to help me design it. But there is still the money problem. You could ask Al. A voice in my head whispered. Yeah. No way I would do that. Not after … what happened. But he would probably do it for free. Remember you are broke. I said no! Just accept a no Kai!

-Toot Toot-

Half an hour later my undetermined me was on the phone waiting for Al to pick up. It’s just once, only this time and just because of Yasmin. I told myself but deep down I knew that was just an excuse for me to spend time with Al. I was mentally kicking my ass for being so undecided about everything and dragging everyone else down with me.

„Hello?“ Al said.

„Uhh, H- Hi!“ Some people begin to talk much when they are nervous but I just start to stutter. Great.

„So… Why did you call? Is everything alright? Did you change your mind about the meditation? I didn’t think you would contact me again to be honest.“ Al says with a nervous laughter at the end.

„Can you help me make a Photo album?“

„Uhh, Sure! But why do you need one?“ Al says instant.

„F- For Yasmin. I mean it is a present. I need it as a birthday present.“

„Oh.“ Al says sounding a bit disappointed or disturbed?

„B- but you don’t have to help me. I can ask someone else.“

„NO! No I mean I would like to help you. I am looking forward to seeing your photos.“

„Uh Sure. So can I just send them to you and you can send me design suggestions?“ Well ok that might came out rude. But who cares. Not that it would matter now if I sound like a asshole.

„Well I could… Or we could meet up and do the design together?“ Al asked insecure.

Damn. The struggling in his voice made me want to just say yes and get that over with. But that was exactly why I didn’t want to call. Why I didn’t want to be near him at all. He made me loose my cool. Get yourself under control Kai!

Due to my long silence Al asked nervous:

„Kai?“

„Yeah! Sorry. We can do that.“

As much as I hated to be controlled I hated hearing the insecurity in Al’s voice way more. Great. My plan totally worked (not). Now what? Just go and meat with him, as if nothing ever happened? I closed my eyes with a sigh and told my self that it would be just this once. Just one meeting.

Oh how wrong I was…