✦Sean✦

Looking back to where I left Sasuke he’s gone by the time I make it over to Andy, Sam, and Nick.

“Where did ya go just then, Sean?" Sam asks putting an arm over my shoulders. Including most of his weight. Thankfully, I'm able to adjust my weight quickly so I can support his fucking ass. I more so want to just push him off me more than anything. But if I do that, then what'll happen?

“Sorry I saw something and I wanted to go check it out. It was nothing really,” I have one of my normal fake smiles that I've grown accustomed to using around these three.

“It had to be important if you just wandered off like that though,” Nick mentions as we walked down the sidewalk. I carefully slip out from under Sam’s arm using a lady that was about to pass by us as a silent excuse to get out of his grasp.

“Really, it was nothing,” I glare at him slightly trying to get him to back off. I’m not liking these questions in the slightest. Why on earth do I hang out with these three? It can’t be just because they’re on the swim team. Maybe it’s because I'm trying to fill a gap that I feel from moving away. No…that gap that’s there, these three idiots can’t fill. It’s because I feel like I’ve pushed my own best friend away from me. The only person that didn’t look at me like I was some sort of infectious disease. He stood up for me…and he never blamed me for him getting hurt when we were little.

"Oh guys, let's stop in here,” Andy said and I looked up to see what store that we were in front of the little convenience store that was in town.

I just didn’t want to hang out with them though. Is Sasuke going to be okay? His knees looked really banged up. He was really dehydrated too, so was he able to make it home alright?

“Sean,” Andy’s voice pulled me back to what I was doing, “Ya comin’ in or not?” He questions raising an eyebrow at me.

I shake my head, “Sorry Andrew, I have to be somewhere.” I took a step back from the entrance, “I’ll see ya back at school.” I smile a little turning on my heels and I jog away from them. When I rounded the corner and I know that I was out of eyesight of the three of them I pick up the face and run. The pace of my shoes tapping on the pavement quicken as I brake into a sprint.

I just have to make sure he’s okay. I shouldn’t have let him go alone like that. I know we’re not on the best of terms, but that was so stupid of me to just let him go. My breath blew out of my nose and mouth a bit heavier than when I started. The quick starting and stopping to avoid people wasn't helping in getting to the park any faster. I should have taken him home right then and there. I’m so stupid. God fucking damn it legs go faster. Picking up the pace I go my hardest I possibly can into the park.

Slowing down I bring my hands up and rest them on my head as I try to calm down my breathing. I’m here. He couldn’t have made it through the park that fast he was fucked up…so where is he? I look around and start walking. Geez from sprinting so far, one would think that I’m out of shape. I chuckle at the thought as I look around.

“There he is,” I mutter spotting a messy black head of hair leaning against a tree.

I take a step towards him and a particular teenaged boy with a head of white hair ran up to Sasuke and quickly kneeled down to talk to him. Sasuke must have been sleeping or something because it looked like snowflake woke him up. But after they exchanged a couple of words he managed to get Sasuke onto his back and they started walking in the direction of Sasuke’s house.

I feel like I’m a few steps behind them. Like I’m always just a few seconds too late. If I was just a little faster would snowflake and I have switched places? Would I have been in front of Sasuke and taking him home? I dropped my hands from my head and down to my chest clutching my shirt as I watched the two of them walk away. Why do I feel like I’ve been kicked in the chest? Why do I feel like I’ve inhaled a breath of water and swallowed? Is this how Sasuke felt when he stepped into the fight between snowflake and myself? Letting my hands drop down to my sides before shoving them in my pockets, I let out a small sigh and head in a slight angle from where Toshiro and Sasuke went and head back to the school. I had homework to do anyway and I don't want to get behind on the reading that I have to do.

The walk feels like it’s dragging on. Like it’s a walk of shame. I deserve it though for being such a fucking piss pour friend since I’ve gotten back into town. I should have stopped by that day. When I saw the house, I should have done it. Sighing and looking down at the ground I kick the small pebble that was close to my foot. “I’m so fucking stupid. I’ve probably lost a good friend because of how I’ve been acting… It’s all my fault he got hurt…I’m such a fuck up,” I grab a fist full of my pockets. Tension built up in my shoulders and my body starts to shake a little.

Tears fill my vision and I just let them go. This needs to come out. It’s needed to come out for a long time now. Even before I came back here. I haven’t cried in years. I think since I left back in middle school. I cried after I was far down the road and Sasuke couldn’t see me cry. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I’ve always felt like I’m an older brother to him… “But he’s always been the one protecting me…” I laugh a little between my hiccups from crying. I bring my sleeves up and wipe away my tears, “I’m so pathetic in thinking that I could be an older brother. Especially to someone who’s always protected me and gotten hurt for me and because of me,” I felt myself come to a stop in front of the school gates as I looked up at it.

I didn’t go in till I calmed myself down. After taking a few more deep breaths I went to the dorms and grab my swimming trunks and my spare towel then head to the pool. Swimming has always helped me calm down. It helped me think. It’s been the one thing that’s been metaphorically been my rock throughout my life. I had actual leggings for competitive swimming, but I didn't feel like grabbing them. I also have jammers, but I liked wearing the leggings a bit more for competitive swimming.

The pool is heated. Walking into the locker room I can already smell the hint of chlorine coming from the pool. It was a nice smell to me. It’s comforting. Changing into my swimming trunks I brought my towel with me out to the pool and set it down in one of the empty chairs. There were a few kids and teachers here in the pool. The kids were playing and the teachers were either lounging out on a floatie or watching the children to make sure that they weren’t going to hurt themselves. I dove into the pool and the first thing I do is always swim all the way down to the bottom and grab a hold of the grate and sit there holding my breath for as long as I can. I’ve gotten a lot better. I can hold my breath for about a minute. But with teachers and kids here I decide against it, just so I don’t make them panic and think that I can’t swim. I still at least touch the bottom with my hands, feeling the smooth tile. I open my eyes, burning slightly from the chlorine, the deep blue racing line directly under me. I can’t help but smile ever so slightly letting some of the air that I was holding in escape from my mouth before I get my feet under my body and push off the bottom and launching back towards the surface releasing the air that I had trapped inside as I went.

Once I broke the surface I took a breath of the fresh air. After I shook my head to get my bangs out of my eyes I swam back over to the side of the pool and went over to the side of the pool that the kids weren’t on and started just doing some slow laps. I wasn’t in a fast pace mood at the moment. Just something to help me relax before I go back to the dorm and work on homework. It really helps. I lose track of time whenever I swim. It wasn’t till after I was floating on my back and glanced over at the wall with the clock that I noticed it was closing in on seven. I have been here for almost two hours. I need to get something to eat and start working on my homework.

Sighing a little before taking a breath and diving in backward from laying on my back to swim down to the bottom of the pool one more time and pushing myself more so at an angle towards the edge of the pool so I could get out. I rinsed off in the locker room, got dressed, went and got a bite to eat, and took an apple back to the room. There’s no one here. The three of them must have decided to go out to dinner while in town. Whatever, I don’t give a damn. It keeps it quiet in the room anyways. Hanging my trunks on the edge of my hamper I put my towel on the floor under them so they could drip off on the towel and grabbed what I needed to take a shower.

Then it was for homework once I get back to the room. I didn’t get too far into my homework before Andy came walking into the room laughing obnoxiously with Sam and Nick.