Elise winced at her phone, already longing for the time when she could finally move out and live on her own.

She understood that her parents were worried, especially her mom. And yes, if their positions were reversed she'd be freaking out too; band practice had taken almost an hour longer than it usually should, and her phone had been on silent so she hadn't been responding. But…whew. It wasn't even that late, should she really have to defend herself every time she stayed out a little later than usual?

Picking up another incoming call from her mother, she sighed and said, "Hello?"

"Sweetheart! Where on earth did you run off to?" her mom's voice burst out of the speaker. "We've been trying to reach you for half an hour!"

Elise sighed. "Practice took longer than planned," she replied. "But I'm on the train now, I'll be home soon."

"Good! Hurry up, dear, I'm waiting for you," her mother replied. "Call Dad if you need him to pick you up from somewhere, okay?"

Elise nodded exhaustedly at the usual line. "Yeah, yeah."

"You sound so tired, you poor thing." Her mom's voice turned sympathetic, more so than what was appropriate for this situation. "What terrible bandmates, keeping my little girl out so late! They could've had at least a little sympathy for your long way home."

Frustration flared. "It's fine," Elise insisted. "Other people my age stay out all night, you know?"

"Yes, healthy people! You're a sick person, you shouldn't compare yourself to them."

"It's barely nine in the evening!"

"And by the time you get home it'll be ten, and then you still need to eat and shower. Don't you have an early class tomorrow? They're robbing you of your sleep!"

"I get enough sleep."

"Not judging by the circles under your eyes, you don't."

"It's really fine. It's not like I'll collapse tomorrow because I got half an hour less than usual," Elise deadpanned. "Don't worry about me. I'll be back soon."

"Okay. Take care."

"I will. Bye."

Elise hung up.

Between the pressure of the upcoming gig, her asthma, Jen's impatience, and now her protective parents, dropping out of the band was really starting to look like the more appealing option.

~ ~ ~

After Elise got home, there were good news and bad news.

The good news was that her mother wasn't actively discouraging her to stop attending band practice—yet, anyway. Elise suspected she liked the fact that her daughter got to sing and move around and expand her lung capacity enough to still keep letting her go; the question was just how much longer she'd put up with it. The bad news was that she had already threatened to put her foot down if Elise kept coming home late; and though Elise knew she was an adult and her parents couldn't legally stop her, she also knew that had never stopped her mom before. If she was truly hell-bent on not letting her leave, she could and would lock her in the house and take her spare key.

Which, in turn, meant that Elise would have to keep an eye on the clock during band practice now. At a time when they needed more practice time than ever. And she needed to train her lungs to be able to perform. And they still needed to write and arrange at least one new song.

Yeah, she had no idea how that could possibly go wrong at all.

Part of her toyed with the thought of talking to Jen about it, but logic and reason argued against it. What was the use? She had warned Jen about her asthma, repeatedly, and she had promised it'd be fine only to turn around and snap at her once she witnessed the actual consequences. Why would this go any better? Best case, the same thing as before would happen again. Worst case, Jen would decide, right then and there, that Elise wasn't actually cut out to be a full-time band member.

And would she be wrong? You have nothing to offer except for your writing skills and your mediocre voice. Not exactly rock star material, are you?

Some small, lazy part of Elise, the part that still clung to her comfort zone, whispered that it wouldn't be so bad if she had to leave the band. Go back to normal. She would have her afternoons back, her precious writing time. She wouldn't have to drag herself across half the city twice a week, and she certainly wouldn't have to worry about running out of breath and singing in front of people.

…And then what?

Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me…

Going back to her comfort zone meant going back to obscurity, back to loneliness. Back to sitting holed up in her room, writing, drawing and daydreaming about the social life she couldn't have in reality. Back to wasting the best years of her life away unseen, unheard, never going out or doing anything worth remembering.

No, thank you. She had already spent most of her teen years like that.

Staying with the band would be difficult, yes. She would likely curse herself for sticking around later on. But even so, she knew for a fact that if she gave up on them now, she would regret it forever.

So, deal with it, then. On her own. While trying not to cause further trouble for Jen or anyone else.

Instead of going to sleep, Elise found herself curled up on her bed researching breathing techniques for singing.

~ ~ ~

This time Elise knew better and took a preemptive shot of her medication before entering the band practice room. Not that she'd had trouble breathing before; but better safe than sorry, and she wanted to see if it helped any. Over the past few days she had found herself practicing the breathing techniques whenever she remembered. It hadn't always been easy; spring was coming, and with spring came the usual allergies. Today, thankfully, she was doing fine thanks to the rain that had come down this morning. But it wasn't something she could always count on.

The sound of a guitar greeted her as she opened the door, but to her surprise it wasn't Zahir playing it; it was Jen, strumming an old instrument where she sat in the chair under the window, beside Felix' drum set. It was entirely too big for her small body and had been fixed in a few spots, but she played it like a virtuoso, her fingers flying over the strings even faster than Zahir's.

"What's that?" Elise asked when Jen paused and looked up. "I don't think I've heard it before."

"Good," said Jen, grinning as she set aside the instrument. "I'm trying out some melodies. I like The Zone, but we need a real banger for that festival, you know?"

Elise nodded excitedly. "True, The Zone works better as an album track or something," she mused. "So what was that just now?"

"Just me messing around with melodies and stuff," Jen replied. "Is it catchy?"

"Yeah," Elise replied, "I think so?"

"Then it sucks," Jen decided. "I think so's not enough. If it's not stuck in your head for the rest of the day, we can't use it!"

"…okay."

"But it's hard," Jen continued, glaring at the guitar like the whole situation was somehow its fault. "What do I even write about? I don't have any ideas!"

Elise sat down beside her.

"Something relatable might be good," she said. "You know, something a lot of people can sing at the top of their lungs because it speaks from their soul, or something."

There was a long pause, and with a nervous laugh Elise added, "I'm not helping, am I?"

But Jen didn't appear to be listening anymore; she was fully up in her own head again, bouncing her leg as she stared unblinkingly into the air. "Something relatable," she muttered under her breath. "Something relatable…"

Finally her eyes widened, and just at that very moment the door flew open with an annoyingly loud bang.

"Oh hey, you're already here," Felix said, waving at them with a grin. "I thought for sure I was gonna be the first—"

"You asshole!" Jen shouted at him, jumping to her feet and glaring him down with an impressive amount of fury. "I was just about to figure it out!"

Felix looked from her to Elise and back to her in puzzlement. "Figure what out?"

"The song! I just had an idea and now I lost it!" With a frustrated huff Jen stomped her foot, then kicked aside the chair standing closest to her. "Couldn't you have waited two more minutes, Felix?"

"Hey, I'm not psychic." Setting down his backpack, Felix made to fiddle with his drum set. "It'll come back to you."

"No, it won't! You just stole our breakthrough hit and it's all your fault."

"Okay, okay, sorry." Felix sat down behind his drums, twirling his drumsticks. "Happy now?"

"No. But you're forgiven."

"What are we working on today?" Elise asked to try and distract them both. "Welcome To My World sounds fine to me now, so—?"

"Nope, still not perfect," Jen interrupted her. "But we don't have a lot of time left, so let's do Ground Breaker. We still need time to practice the new songs when they're done."

"Any progress?" Felix asked. Jen only glared at him.

"Just kidding, just kidding," he said with a laugh. "You guys can write two more songs in four weeks, I believe in you."

"Me too," Elise said at once. "We've been way faster so far."

Jen wasn't listening anymore; she was already zoned out again, muttering and humming snippets under her breath. Felix watched her with an amused look on his face. "She's weird, huh?" he remarked quietly. "She barely got her schoolwork done, but if we're talking music she turns into a mini dictator."

Against her will, Elise snorted. "I'd call her a perfectionist," she replied.

"But only about one thing."

Shine came in, then Zahir. Jen barely registered their arrival until Felix came up to her and snapped her out of her thoughts, earning himself another death glare until he reminded her that it was time to start playing together. Elise was grateful she didn't have to do it herself. She still hadn't told the others about needing to leave on time.

It took her a moment, but during practice Jen was fully in the zone again. Once more she turned into a bossy director, interrupting the song over and over to improve some minor detail. But in the end even she was satisfied, and after two full playthroughs without any complaints she gave the others a huge grin and thumbs-up.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. "Now let's work on the performance."

Elise stopped short. "What?"

"The performance," Jen repeated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We can't just stand there and sing, Ellie!"

Oh. Right. Jen was a full-body performer. So as the other vocalist…Elise would have to match that energy.

A tenseness crept through her chest.

Now she'd have to see how far her medication could truly carry her.