Kiss Him

Omegaverse

Nathaniel

Part Eight

As I lazily opened my eyes, I noticed Craig wrapped around me like a spider monkey on his favorite tree. It…. was nice and warm. We fell asleep naked and very tired after our third round of sex. Then I had a sudden realization we hadn't used a single shred of protection. So as carefully as I possibly could, I untangled Craig from around me and slipped out of bed. I took a quick glance back at all his glorious nakedness. He'd now moved so he was spread across the whole of the bed, still snoring like a bulldog. Damn that guy sleeps like the dead. I chuckled and quickly grabbed my boxers and ran downstairs to my packed suitcase. I was ready to haul ass yet again. I wasn't even sure where I was gonna go, but as soon as Marcus mentioned my….full name I was ready to run.

Looks like I'm not going anywhere just yet and I quickly rummaged through my case and found my emergency contraception pills. There's no way in hell I'm getting pregnant. Heat or no heat, there was always still that chance and I'm not taking it. After chucking two in my mouth, just in case I rushed into the kitchen and poured a glass of water. "....great." I breathed out and leaned against the counter top. I'm fucking tired. Tired of trying to smile and pretend to be strong and patient when I was actually neither. Tired of running. And above all, tired of the fact that nothing in my life was under my control anymore. I had nothing left in me and I had absolutely nowhere else to go. I couldn't even go back home, not that I want to, not anymore. But it doesn't stop me from missing it. Or maybe missing my privileged life.

"....mor...ning…" Craig said around a yawn as he made his way down the stairs. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Never better."

"Mmmm, good," Then he softly kissed my head and grabbed a cup. "Is there any coffee here or do I need to get some from mine?"

"Actually, I think there's coffee from whoever stayed here last."

"Ewww. No way. Let's go into town and get one from a cafe."

"Right. But we need to talk."

"Do we? Really?"

"Yeah," I sighed and moved away from him and sat at the small dining table. "Last night….when Marcus…."

"Don't. It's not important…."

"It is! It is, Craig. Because I don't want to go into this with secrets."

"Alright. But can I at least run to mine and get coffee that is actually edible?"

"Sure." Craig gave me a partial smile and ran back upstairs. I heard him bang about a little and I wondered if maybe he was okay. Maybe he fell and has now got a concussion, or something. I should check. So I got up and dragged my sorry carcass up the stairs just as he ran out of the room, nearly colliding with me.

"Shit, sorry," he mutter rushed? Is that a thing? "Fell over my own feet."

"Stupid. Go get the coffee. I'm getting back into bed."

"Right, sure. See you in a beat." He kissed my head again and rushed down the stairs.

"Ugh!" I thought. Not about Craig, not at all. Just me. Then I fell into bed and I rolled over, pushed the pillow back under my head, closed my eyes resolutely, and took one of those deep, calming breaths I’d heard about. This was going to be okay. It was going to be fine. I just needed to relax and tell him everything. The truth. The hard cold truth. I took another breath and let it out slowly, absorbing this latest blow. The score currently stood at Nathaniel, 0: Universe, 920,394,203, and here I was, laying around like a dumbass, begging for a sign. What’s coming next? I need to plan for it! How many times did I need to be whacked by the universe’s fuckery stick before I got the message that it was time to really deal with my shit and stop hiding from my ugly truths.

"I'm back! Got good coffee! Want one!?"

I smiled and held my hands up high and stared at them. "Sure! No sugar!"

"Cool! Be up in a jiffy!"

Stupid hands. Stupid fingers. Then my eyes fell onto one finger. My ring finger. A finger where promises are made and also broken. That silver band. I hid it back in my suitcase after Craig gave it back to me and there it will stay. "All my life for you." I whispered. Love hurts. Like really hurts.

"Hey, got the coffee." Craig said, walking back in the room and placing himself on the end of the bed.

"Thanks." I sat up and reached for my steamy coffee.

"So. Talk, huh?"

"Yeah. But I'm also guessing on a whim of course, that you heard something already. Am I right?"

His blank stare said it loud and clear. "Just say it Nathaniel."

"Right," I quickly took a mouthful of coffee. Huh, nice coffee. "Well, I'm not gonna go into great detail, but whatever you heard is most likely not completely the whole truth."

"So you didn't cheat?"

I knew it. I hated hear say. "Well, you're not completely wrong. I was with a guy. Apparently he loved me. Well enough that he bought me a ring…."

"That silver band?"

"Yep. We were happy, well happy in secret….four six months. Until my parents arrange a marriage," I laughed a little, because it's funny like that. "To the guy's brother. I hated it. Why? I asked myself that so many times. Why me?"

"So you were seeing the guy, well the fiancé's brother before everything, right?"

"Yes Craig and on many occasions we said we needed to stop. But again I thought why? Why should I? I didn't want to be engaged. But cutting a story short, we were caught and the guy I was with did a runner and everything became public news. The engagement was off...bonus for me, but the shame and hatred stayed. So now I'm here."

"Okay. Well...I don't know what to say."

"I wouldn't expect you to say anything on the matter either. We were stupid….I was stupid to believe he'd stay. He left before shit hit the fan and I felt the full force of the shit hitting the fan."

"Did your parents cut you off?"

"Yep. But I was smart enough to keep my secret bank balance topped up. In an event of any kind of emergency."

"So what now?"

I shrugged, suddenly exhausted in a way that wasn’t just physical or mental but soul-deep. "Don't know. Maybe stay here shacked up like the loser everyone thinks I am."

"You're not a loser."

"It’s fine. You don't need to butter up my pity. Although running away wasn’t how I imagined it would be anyway."

Craig stayed seated on the opposite corner of the bed, pulling one leg up so he could face me. "Yeah? What did you imagine it’d be like?"

"Satisfying, maybe. The click of puzzle pieces connecting. A whisper of 'ahhhh, that’s what’s been missing' across my soul. A bone-deep knowledge that I was where I belonged. When I don't actually know where I belong."

"You know, my dad always said a man isn’t finished when he’s defeated, he’s finished when he quits."

I laughed. "But maybe leaving’s not quitting. Maybe it’s just realizing that I’ve been going after the wrong things the wrong way. All this time. Oblivious and selfish. Stupid too."

"Well you're not the only running from shit. I came here, because honestly…."

"You love your cousins very pregnant boyfriend?"

"Well, I guess you're right. But thinking about it I'm not so sure it was love. Maybe infatuation. Like he's seriously the weirdest guy I'd ever met and I was honestly fascinated by him."

"He is….erm, strange. But I could see how you both bounced off each other. It seemed odd to me, all of it did. But you know, looking at you both in the same room I couldn't see any love, like lovers coming off either of you. But then again don't listen to my bullshit because I'm not even sure what love is either. I thought I did. I was wrong."

"Well, I think that everything works out exactly the way it’s supposed to, eventually," Was there a worse expression in all of existence? I doubt it. But I grinned and gave him a salute anyway, and his answering smile flared bright and true as he moved up the bed.

"It's all shit though," I mumbled and then snorted and let myself collapse back on the bed after discarding my coffee on the bedside cabinet. My whole life I’d had an idea in my head about how I’d react in the face of real adversity. Katniss Everdeen, volunteering as tribute. Batman, owning the night and meting out justice. The brave soldier, picking up the banner when the rest of his company had been shot down. A man of action, goddamn it, just as my father tried to raise me to be. I always believed, more than anything, that you had to be a hundred percent into something, no wishy-washy bullshit. Well, that's what I thought.

This was going to be okay. It was going to be fine. Then I pulled the pillow over my head and groaned again. "Hey, come on. It will be okay."

I lifted the pillow slightly and turned my head to see Craig, rested on one hand and staring at me. "You think? Like do you know for certain? Because it all feels so dumb. All of it. Especially that stupid car."

He smiled and let out a huff through his nose. "Yeah, that car is stupid. It literally has no traction in the snow. What were you thinking?"

"Not much and definitely not with my head. I just wanted to go and the car is pretty, but stupid."

"I think you're a little too...what's the word for spoiled brat?"

"Spoiled brat."

"No….very pampered."

"That's just a more polite way of saying spoiled brat," Craig laughed and I growled against the pillow. Fine! I ran. I'm stupid, but I had a guy next to me who still looked like he actually wanted me. Even after finding out I was a cheating knob head and….pampered. Very pampered. "Craig. You are mad."

"Am I?" He asked, lifting the pillow slightly. "I don't feel mad. But if you say so, then I must be."

"I do say so. You're mad to even still be lying next to me. I like expensive things. I like luxury holidays and fancy dining and….and pretty cars. I also have an array of bags…"

"Man bags?"

"No. Hand bags….of course man bags. But prettier."

"So hand bags then."

"Whatever."

"Whatevah…."

Oh my fucking god. "Stop that…."

"Stap thaaat…"

I shot up and hit him with my pillow a good few times, which had him laughing so hard. "I….don't sound like that…."

"Fuck yes you do," he grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him and suddenly the humor was almost gone and replaced with need. "....I like it," he whispered, tucking some hair behind my ears. "I like you Nathaniel. Strangely quite a lot."

"Weird."

"Hey, everyone has quirks, right?"

"You do realize I'm an all-you-can-eat-buffet of issues...pampered issues, commitment issues, trust issues, you name it."

"Me too, kind of. Definitely commitment issues, but I also want to give it a try. With you, if you'll let me that is."

"Alright. I'll let you. Like a trial or something."

"A trial? You're not gonna make me jump through flaming hoops or try and balance on some high wire professing my love for it to not be a trial anymore?"

"What? Do you want to do that?"

"Well," he pursed his lips, mock thinking and I already wanted to punch him. "I'll jump through hoops, but not the high wire. We could substitute that with hot coal."

"Fine. I get it. Now shut up." He chuckled again and I laid completely flat against him. His warm beautiful body. Who is this man? This weird wonderful man. I guess I'm going to find out a lot about Craig. It's kind of exciting. Adventurous? I've never been very adventurous, now I was starting to see why people were. Why it was so appealing. An exciting adventure. I liked that. I liked it a lot.