“So let me get this straight.” Laurie’s voice held disbelief, sapphire eyes narrowed suspiciously at Aleksi as she made herself comfortable on his couch. “You took him to the club, he got drunk and kissed you. You ended up making out, dragging your asses home, safely, thank God.” She shot the younger man a pointed glare- even though she was grateful they’d taken a taxi home, she would have preferred that he called her for a lift regardless. “Instead of shoving him back in his apartment, you let him sleep in your bed, not just that but you let him sleep with you, and then he made you breakfast the next morning?”
Aleksi fidgeted his fingers nervously, eyes glancing anywhere but at his former guardians face as he gave a slow nod. “Yeah… that… that about covers it. I don’t think he remembers anything past us dancing. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. He was still really sweet the next morning.” Wisely, he refrained from telling her that he’d told Cameron about his past, biting his lip as he tugged the neck of his hoodie down, showing off love bites still marking his skin with Cameron’s claim. “There’s these too…”
“Jesus Christ, you even let him mark you?” Laurie questioned, eyes widening in surprise. Dammit. She had realized that Leksi had a crush, at the very least. Anyone with eyes and ears would have been able to tell listening to him ramble prior to their night out (even if Aleksi himself was oblivious to this fact, and she had no doubt he genuinely hadn’t realized). But this… she hadn’t expected him to break so many of those stupid rules he’d had in place to keep people at arms length since Ryan.
A soft sigh escaped her as she reached out, tugged that lithe body onto her lap as thought Aleksi were still the scrawny little fourteen year old he had been when he’d come to them. She drew his face into the crook of her neck the way she had done a hundred times before, fingers stroking soothingly through dark curls. “You really like him, don’t you, baby boy?” She questioned softly, pressing a soothing kiss to his head. Her hold was protective.
If she could, she’d never let anything touch this boy to hurt him. But this,,, this was going to hurt him. He was going to hurt and there was nothing she could do to take that away. On the one hand… she was glad to see him finally starting to open up again. The fact that he had feelings for someone meant that maybe, after eight years, he was finally starting to heal. On the other hand… was it any better for him to have feelings for someone who may not ever return them?
“I… yeah. I think I do.” Aleksi’s words were muffled against her, fingers curling into her sweater shirt as he had done when he was much younger. “When he was holding me… I felt safe. He made me feel so damn important. We didn’t even do more than kiss, Laur. I didn’t wanna take advantage, not when he was drunk. It felt… I dunno. It sounds stupid. I feel stupid, but it felt right. Like… familiar. I let him mark me because I wanted him to. Is that bad?”
“I…” Laurie paused, trying to parse her words carefully. Her sweet boy was delicate right now, and the last thing she wanted to do was to say the wrong thing. “...I don’t think it was bad, sweetheart. It may not have been the best thing for either of you to do. He has a girlfriend, and she would be pretty hurt if she knew, right? But at least, I’m proud of you for not letting it go further than kissing. You recognized that he wasn’t in the right mindset to consent to anything more than that, even if he tried to.”
Resting her chin atop his, her brow furrowed. “I’m concerned for you, baby. Worried. You know how Ellie and I get with you, Leks. And this boy… he’s straight, right? Please be careful. I’m not saying don’t be his friend, or don’t spend time with him. Just please be cautious, honey. I don’t want you to close yourself off again because you got hurt.”
“Actually…” Aleksi shifted, peering up at her from his perch in his lap. Sun kissed cheeks flushed a rosy pink, emerald eyes darting away to avoid her gaze in his embarrassment. “I’m not so sure he actually is straight. Before we fell asleep that night… I had said that. I had said we couldn’t do that again, because he likes girls and I’m not one. And… he told me he’s not straight, then fell asleep before I could ask. I don’t think he remembered saying that the next day either, and I didn’t wanna mention it or ask. But…”
He took a deep breath, before continuing. “He told me a bit about his family. His dad is a minister, Laur. A really traditional, conservative minister. I think that… maybe he’s in the closet, and too scared of what might happen to come out. I’ve gone to the bar with straight guys I’m friends with. None of them made out with me the minute they got into some booze.”
Emerald eyes were wary but hopeful as they met the older womans. “I just… I think he likes me too, Laurie. No one has ever held me that way except you and Ellie, and that was… not the same. Not in any way. He was so fucking gentle with me. Like I might break if he touched me wrong, even though I’m arguably the one who knows a hell of a lot more what I’m doing. But.. I don’t really know what the right thing to do is here.” He admitted, stabbing a hand through chocolate locks, tugging to keep himself calm and grounded.
“He doesn’t remember last night. That’s fucking obvious. No idea where he thought I got all the hickeys, if he noticed at all, but he didn’t say a word about them. He didn’t even seem off.” Frustration crept into Aleksi’s voice in spite of himself, brow furrowing slightly. “I’d never push. God, I know first hand exactly what can happen when you decide to be your true self. But I really fucking like him. It sucked watching him leave this morning. It sucked having to stop myself from kissing him. And it sucked most that I even wanted to.”
Laurie was quiet as she listened, before tugging the boy she and Elle had all but raised closer. She drew a blanket off the back of the couch, draping it around his back lovingly. “I don’t really have the answers, baby boy.” She told him honestly. “I hate seeing you in a situation that's confusing and hard. I hate knowing I can’t make it easier. All I’ve ever wanted is to keep you safe- as much as we tease, Elle and I love you like our own, you know that. And so.. I’m not going to lie to you, baby. This could be a situation you get hurt in.”
She sighed, pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, cupping his face within her hands, gaze meeting his and holding. “I can’t shield you from that. If you’re right, there’s no guarantee he’s ever going to be ready to take that step. All you can do is wait, and give him the time and space to figure it out. You have to weigh the pros and cons and decide if you can handle being there for him as a support. If it’s worth it to you to wait and see if he’s ever able to get to that point while not pressuring him to. Some people are never ready to come out, baby, and that’s something you have to be prepared for.”
“He’s the first one I’ve felt anything for in a long time.” Aleksi murmured, biting at his lip once more, burrowing down into the blanket gratefully. “And he’s different than most of the guys I fuck around with. He’s so impossibly sweet. Like if I didn’t know he was actually like this, I’d think he was straight out of some cheesy romcom. If it’s him… I think it’s worth the pain, you know? And like you said… I’ve been shut off for so long. But I can’t let what happened with Ryan keep me from ever feeling anything again. And Cam… he likes me, Laurie, I can tell. And even if he didn’t, I would still wanna be his friend.”
“Alright honey… I’m going to trust your judgement here, and hope to hell you know what you’re doing.” And if things fell apart, which, for Aleksi’s sake, she hoped to God they didn’t, then Elle and herself would be there to pick up the pieces, just as they had last time. She pressed a kiss to his head, rubbing his back soothingly. “So… you said he made you breakfast. Was he any good?”
Aleksi lit up, a grin tugging his lips, mischief twinkling in his eyes as the heavy conversation was left behind them. “It was fucking amazing. Not as good as yours, of course! But so fucking good. Like oh my God, I would sell my soul to wake up to that every morning.” He moaned at the memory, mouth watering.
Laurie snorted, shoving his shoulder playfully. It delighted her to see him this happy, despite her concerns. She would just have to trust that he was making the right choices. “And he handled you?! In the morning? Brave is the man who isn’t scared off by my little morning gremlin.” She teased.
“Called me a brat, but that was it.” He laughed warmly, eyes crinkling with delight at the memory. “Emily is out of town for a few more days, I guess, so I told him if he gets too bored or lonely, he’s welcome to come over to watch movies or something with me. I figure just… you know. Don’t rush.Take my time getting to know him.” He shifted closer, cuddling his cheek into the womans shoulder, giving a little yawn. “Are you staying for dinner?”
“Do you mean, am I staying to make my utterly hopeless, helpless little brat dinner?” Sapphire eyes rolled, but she reached out, ruffling dark curls with unmistakable fondness. “Yeah. Elle is meeting us here after work, and she’s going to bring the ingredients for chicken parm. Why don’t you go take a hot shower and relax for a while until she gets here? You’ve had a pretty overwhelming twenty four hours.” She suggested, finger tapping his nose lightly.
“That’s actually a really good idea.” He agreed as he stood, stretching out before heading to the linen closet, grabbing a towel. “I’d say make yourself at home, but I already know you will.”
“Yeah, yeah, you wretched little thing. Go relax.”
Aleksi snorted, hugging the towel to his chest as he made his way to the master bathroom. As much as he picked, he knew there would never be words enough to express the gratitude he felt that she loved him enough to worry. He shook his head, stabbing a hand through his hair. Now wasn’t the time to fixate any more on all that had happened. No- he was going to let himself enjoy a good hot shower and some “Me” time. God knows he had earned it.
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