Claude

Everything felt like a dream. I was lying in the grass, it felt vaguely familiar, like I had been here before. Blood steamed down my face, my vision blurry, I glanced around trying to see everything. The colours spun, the yellows of the sun merging with the green of the grass until everything was unrecognisable. We are in our place, our special place. Me and Griffin’s place.

Slowly my eyes began to focus, but not on what was around me. It was a memory.

Then I saw Griffin, but he was different, he was his old self. Before he changed, before he knew, before I told him. When everything was okay. I stared into his eyes, my pain he didn’t see swelled in my thoughts, again. I was replaying the memory, I hated it. He looked at me, I could tell he was trying to read me. My emotions clawed at my throat, trying to speak, but I didn't say anything. I knew what he would do. I didn’t want it to happen. But I couldn’t hold the words back, they fell out of my throat, just like last time,

“I-I” I was holding the words back, I stared into his eyes once more. Starting to feel confident,

“I like someone,” I said “a guy…,” I looked at him afraid he would hate me. He looked like I had slapped him. Not mad, but just shocked.

“Who?” he asked, “Who do you, like?”

I stared at him, too afraid to answer.

“Who!?” Griffin questioned, his voice loud.

That was the first time he had raised his voice at me, and the first time I was scared of him. He was angry, but weirdly calm. It sent a shudder through my spine, I wanted to reach out and hug him, but the thought of it, the thought of hugging him, made me so scared, made me want to run, want to cry, to scream. But I couldn’t.

“You,” I stared at his face, capturing each wrinkle, each emotion in a picture frame in my mind. “I like you.”

I could feel the tension, and it was floating softly along the surface of my world. The tension glowing, a bright blue, almost white, then it snapped, the light vanishing, along with it Griffin.

“Griffin?!” I screamed, reaching out into the air.

He was gone.

I felt like I was sinking, sinking further and further down, swallowed by my emotions. I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean where no one could hear my screams, my cries. I was trapped in the darkness, drowning in everyone's words, that sank down from the surface, that sank down from the light. They stayed here, with me in the darkness, nowhere to go. Stuck. Where I replay the memories over and over again in my head. Sometimes I try and get rid of them, try and get them to float to the surface, where I can tell someone, tell my parents. But they are always too heavy and they end up sinking back down again. Down to me.

I heard a voice, muffled and far away. It was Griffin. Not old Griffin, not Griffin from the memories. But the new Griffin, the one who hates me. But he saved me, he helped me. He took me away from Miles, because he wanted to, he wanted to help me. He used his powers, the ones that no one should know about, the ones he doesn’t want, the ones he wants to forget, to save me. Me. He teleported, just like he did that day, the day when the blue lights blinded me. When I told him I liked him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He said, tears rolling down his cheeks, some landing on the soft plush grass below him, some landing on flowers, the flowers draping around each tear, treasuring it.

“I shouldn’t-” His voice cracked, he was struggling, he was in pain, “I shouldn’t of done that to you, I shouldn’t have told them,”

He fell to his knees, his shoulders heaving, “I’m such an idiot,” He whispered, “I’m such a fuckin’ idiot.”

I felt lighter, like the weights on my shoulders were slowly lifting. And the words, the insults, the emotions, they slowly floated to surface, bubbling at the top. I was floating too, leaving the dark place that had held me for so long, I was floating into the light. The light I had longed to be in for so long.

Griffin didn’t hate me.

I sat up, my heart beating fast. And moved slowly over to him. Finally I could see as clear as the sky, I could see his face, each expression, his birthmark, just like I remembered. My vision wasn’t clouded by the darkness anymore. Griffin had helped me. He cared about me.

“It’s okay Griffin,” I said, gaining confidence, I wasn’t scared anymore.

He looked over at me, his eyes shining, tears streaking down his face. I smiled at him, realising he was still my friend, he still wanted to be my friend. He smiled back, but it seemed sad, we stared at each other, staring into each other's eyes.

Suddenly his arms were around my body, strong but gentle. I could feel him shaking, crying. His tears had almost caked onto his skin, but were now slowly dripping onto mine.

“Claude?” He asked, “Do you hate me?”

I could feel his small body against mine, I could feel how vulnerable he was, I could feel that he wanted me and that he was truly, truly sorry.

“O-of course not,” I whispered back.

We sat there for what seemed like forever, but the moment also passed in the blink of an eye. He seemed to be trying to read me again, just like before.

We finally understood each other.