Kay finally agreed to take Dominic with them. Not because he was afraid of Gala but simply because he was looking for an excuse not to kill his friend. It weighed heavy on him that he wasn't there to save Dominic from being bitten, and he felt he owed him at least that much.
Also, he promised himself that he would pay close attention to Dominic and if Gala was unable to kill him he would do it. He didn't know how, but he knew he would do it, in the name of the wonderful friendship they shared and all the times Dom helped him out.
Ali was shocked by Kay agreeing to emotional pleas of her grief-stricken friend, but she didn't want to interfere with the leader's decision. Nevertheless, she paid very close attention to Dom and was ready to act if the occasion arose.
It wasn't in Ali's nature to kill or destroy but although she couldn't always understand Gala, she was still her friend and more than anything she wanted to protect her.
The thing that surprised her more than anything was the fact that Gala made such a strong emotional connection in such a short period. Usually, she wasn't really fond of expressing her emotions and it was extremely rare to see her so emotional as she was when she found out about Dom.
No matter how little she thought she truly knew her best friend, Ali decided to try to be there for her as much as she could in any way possible.
Other people seemed to accept their leader's decision without any objections, probably already used to putting their lives in his hands. So, they all continued with their journey as if nothing happened, as if people hadn't died, as if one of them wasn't about to die.
Since Gala was walking hand in hand with Dom, and they seemed to be in a loving bubble which was both strange and scary for Ali, she decided to walk in step with Kay, to try to get some information that she felt she really needed.
However, before she could ask him anything and understand his answers she had to calm down her thoughts. So, at first, she just walked near him, her thoughts in a turmoil.
"Why is she standing so close to Dom? Doesn't she understand that one moment he could be chatting with her and the next ripping her throat out? I can't understand why she would risk it. It doesn't seem worth the risk to me.
"On the other hand, what do I know, I have never been in love before. I guess I am a bit judgmental because I worry about her. It feels like she is in such a grave danger, and she is doing it voluntarily. There is nothing I can do or say that would change her mind and even if he doesn't kill her when he turns, he will break her heart. Okay, I have to focus." Ali thought.
Finally, she put those thoughts and worries in the back of her mind, to be revised at a later time, and tried to focus on Kay and how to ask him all the questions she wanted to know the answers to.
Finally, she managed to calm her mind enough to be able to ask the questions that had bothered her the most.
"How do you do it? How do you just go on after everything you have seen? I mean people died just a while ago and none of you seem to be shaken in the least?" Ali finally dared to ask, hoping her bluntness wouldn't offend Kay.
For some reason, she usually couldn't think of polite ways to ask some sensitive questions and that hasn't changed once she changed her world for the zombie-infested one.
"After everything we've seen we've learned that becoming emotional right then and there could only get us in even more trouble. So we've taught ourselves to put all our sadness and anger aside and deal with it in a safer environment and at a better time.
"I have lost some of my best men because they became too emotional and couldn't deal with the loss, it literally killed them. They were surrounded by zombies and the last thing they should have done was grieve.
"We don't have all those luxuries we used to have before the zombies came. I can assure you that we are all shaken to the core but with time you learn to put up a hardened shell around your heart when you are outside of the safe zone.
"But sometimes it is difficult to put it down, it seems to be easier not to deal with all of those heartbreaking emotions but Dom showed me that we need to deal with all emotions to be truly alive. That is why, whether it is obvious or not my heart is breaking for my friend." He said gravely.
"I don't get it," Ali remarked honestly.
In that exact moment, it seemed to her as if Kay simply lost it. He lost all control of his carefully made facade and what she could see was pure anger. She had never seen anyone look angrier in her entire life and it made her step away from him in fear.
That was when the anger started pouring out of him in a wave of words that seemed to have been waiting for a long time to finally come out.
"Of course you don't get it! You come from a perfect little world where you probably led a safe and sheltered life! You don't know how it is to one day wake up in a world of horrors with pain and sorrow as your constant companion!
"It is impossible for you to even imagine how it is to see your wife turn and slaughter your children while you stand there unable to break through the bulletproof-window separating you!
"Can you even imagine how it is to see your gentle and kind wife turn into a monster and slaughter her own children whom she loved more than her own life? Do you know how hard it is to get rid of the sounds of your children screaming for help in excruciating pain? To watch the blood of your loved ones splash on the glass before you as the torn out body parts hit the window and the emotionless face of your wife stares at you while blood slowly trickles down her beautiful face." Kay said.
"Have you ever thought how it is to live without the people who meant the most to you? That emptiness in your heart, that can't ever be filled no matter how much you tried. Have you ever screamed in silence because you didn't want the screams of your heart and soul to disturb other people?
"Did you ever feel like there weren't enough tears to cry out the enormous pain you feel? Can you imagine how it is to wish to be dead just to be able to see once more the people you love and simply because you can't imagine life without them? Without their presence, life doesn't seem to have any sense and the world feels like a cruel place to live in.
"I lost all that mattered to me in a matter of seconds and the pain is always with me, I can never escape it. But there are moments, moments of happiness or satisfaction that temporarily manage to mask the pain in my heart. The moments I cherish because they make me feel like maybe, just maybe I might be okay.
"Do you know how it is to start crying when you least expect it and not be able to stop? To start hyperventilating because you have cried so much that you forgot how to breathe properly. Well, do you?!" he yelled at Ali, and she was left speechless, with tears trickling down her face.
"I am sorry," she said, "I should have known. It is terrible, and I am so sorry for opening up those wounds."
That was when Kay finally managed to calm down.
"I am sorry. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. " Kay apologized.
"It's okay." Ali responded not being able to find the right words to try to comfort him.
Comments (10)
See all