Cheng P.O.V.

I couldn't seem to back off that night; something kept pushing me near Chin Mae. His presence, his eyes, his lips had continuously instigated me since I managed to call him out that afternoon. I tried so hard not to give up my self-control, but I couldn't, not after seeing him with other guys in situations where I dreamt about being there myself. 

Because no matter if Chin Mae was trying to deny his sexuality, his actions were evident. I knew and saw how much he cared and tried to get my attention or reaction since I started to hang out more with my other mates. He wanted to get back to his main position where everything I did was evolving around him, and his persistent and possessive behaviour proved that there wasn't just friendship between us, so I won't listen to his plead of not complicating things because he won't resist, and I won't. I was ready to accept anything about him, but if he wasn't doing it to himself first, after all the brainwash he self-inflicted, how things could evolve positively between us? I cared about him, and he did too, so why not try and... be together, for real?

I knew that it wasn't the right time to think about us. What happened at the pub had the major priority, especially calming Chin Mae after the awful and frightening night he had. But I couldn't stop but revive and rejoice when Chin Mae's fangs retracted once he saw me. Me. It was me who made him get back to himself, so that meant I was... special, and I felt like it for the first time, becoming addicted to that sensation. 

I angered at the thought that Chin Mae's feelings, body and soul were disfigured by those guys, the ones that didn't care about looking after him and venerate his existence as it should be. All those thoughts just ignited the fire inside me, so much that I couldn't think logically and act composed as always. How could I, after I saw what Chin Mae looked like when held that close? Why, since I was the one in the first place who wanted him so badly? 

Deep down, I wanted to acknowledge his decision and stand down, but I couldn't. I spent my whole life worshipping other people's feelings, never allowing myself to get what I wanted, for how strange it might appear. And I wanted, desired Chin Mae so badly that I couldn't resist anymore. And I didn't know what stopped me from breaking that bathroom stall when I heard Chin Mae jerking off in that restaurant loo, moaning my name as he reached his climax...?

“Did you know how I felt after you've left me alone at the pub with those girls?" I asked at a mere millimetre from his face as I forced my body against his, adhering at his back and feeling him tramble.

"They were around me like some fucking condors, waiting for me to collapse and finally eat me alive,” I added, grasping his waist and pushed it toward mine. "You said I shouldn't make you angry, but I still didn't hear an apology for forcing me in that wretched situation!" I finally opened my apartment door, pushing Chin Mae inside with a firm shove.

"Cheng, we are talking about different things-" he mumbled, stomping inside, nearly collapsing on the floor. What the hell was I doing? Treating him like that after the night he had? 

“Oh, really? Because I think we need to clear up something, so that you will stop treating me like some sort of stallion," I chuckled, sadly rubbing my scalp energetically. I should just shut up; what was I thinking bringing up that nerve-racking topic that I wanted to introduce in the next few days?

"I've fucked nobody. NOBODY." I pronounced so that he would understand better. "It was a rumour that someone spread; I've nothing to do with this." I laughed ecstatically when looking at his sceptical expression. He didn't believe me, and I was more hurt for that than being accused of being a womanizer.

"I am surprised." I scoffed, biting my lip not to make it quiver. "I imagined you would have talked about it if it was bothering you. I thought that maybe you knew me better." I added after seeing him remaining silent. That silence was hurting, especially how he kept his composure while I was yelling at him.

"We know each other for less than four months; Cheng, I don't know you. And your sex life doesn't concern me!" he shouted right at my face while stepping dangerously closer. Now, that was a reaction that I was expecting. But my hands were shaking at his body getting closer; my head was spinning for how much he affected me. 

"But it should concern you!" I interrupted him, looking right into his eyes as I grasped his nape, pulling him closer. "I like you and you like me, and I've tried to let you understand that every time I could, so how can I fuck anybody else when I have you in my mind at all the time?!" I roared furiously; I couldn't believe I just confessed it all once again in that way. But for how he looked at me, I doubted Chin Mae would have accepted my feelings. 

"T-these are temporary feelings. Do you want to ruin everything we have over something that will disappear after some time?!" he yelled angrily as he shoved me on the sofa with all his might. "I killed Brian. I am a vampire, for how weird it might sound, and I don't even know how that happened. So yeah, I don't want to talk about this, about us, about how our relationship will end because I will kill you too when I lose myself again!" Chin Mae burst into a pained cry, so hurtful to hear that I felt my insides turn. 

I stumbled on my feet, trying to get a hold of him, but he dodged every attempt and tried to make his way out of the apartment. "I can't force you to stay," I stated, panicking, embracing him from behind as he was holding the doorknob.

"But do it for me then. I will help you, and if I fail, I will let you walk away. But, please, let me try at least." I complained as I immersed my mouth against his shoulder, breathing in his perfume mixed with the smell of blood. I just hoped that after all we shared, he would let me at least try. Because I wasn't afraid of what he became, I was for how my life would be without him. And all I knew was that I didn't want it to happen nor imagine it.

After a few minutes in that position, Chin Mae laid a hand over mine. "How can you make me give up so easily?" he questioned me without expecting an answer while he turned to face me, faintly smiling at my pleased expression.

I intertwined my fingers with Chin Mae's ones and led him towards the sofa. My only desire was to remove his clothes and look at how that bastard stained the skin of a fallen angel. We sat too far apart, and I was dying to brush his skin and look after him. I was craving for the body contact I was always denied since we met.

" ... Can I?" I asked, sliding closer to him and tugging his sweater to be removed. Chin Mae's body stiffened as he slowly pulled his upper clothes. I was shaking from anger as I brushed every bruise, cuts, scar, and red marks on his chest and neck that were swollen and red on his porcelain skin. I wanted to make him mine, to abuse him and held him so tight that he was never able to let me go. I desired to make him feel how heavy my feelings were in my chest so that he wouldn't dare say that mine were 'temporary feelings'. If only I could take my heart out and show him.  

"They are healing already; I can feel it." Chin Mae stated as I touched the cut on his cheekbone, "Maybe human blood heals me faster."

"Like in the movies and books, eh?" I chuckled, caressing the back of his head gently and brushing my fingers from his nape down to his spine. "I wonder why you were not healing when we first met-"

“Cheng, I don't want to complicate things between us.” he insisted while pushing me back, interrupting our contact.

“It's just that it's so difficult to stay away from you..." then I stopped when I realised how saddened and upset he got by what I just said.

"Your other friends were buzzing around you all the time," he said tartly. "So, I don't think you missed me at all."

"I couldn't get myself to stop you from walking away. I kept having this feeling of imprisoning, forcing and manipulating you to do as I pleased that it was... suffocating me." I declared, hoping to be believed that time around.

"Besides testing your reactions, I wanted to see you interact with others. I am keeping you from many opportunities, and I felt guilty." I admitted, scratching my itchy palm. I felt so naked before him after I openly shared what I really thought that I somehow didn't dare to look at him. 

"Cheng..." he exhaled deeply, shaking his head. But I couldn't stand being in the wrong or seen as weak, so I immediately tried to save the situation as I was taught. Chin Mae wasn't going to improve our relationship, nor understand what I had to say and what was behind my reactions. He didn't care, not at that moment, and I wouldn't blame him... Yet, I felt somehow deeply hurt.

"It's okay; you don't have to worry about it," I stated after a long silence that dug into my ego and pride, the one that my father pushed me to enlarge as much as I could.

“What will happen to Brian now?" he asked, changing the subject "He said that his pub was closed and that he paid a fine?"

"Things were handled differently from how I desired," I admitted, feeling my smartphone in my pocket becoming heavier as we spoke.

"Who's this person?" Chin Mae finally faced me, and I took my time and a deep breath as I only wanted that night to end. I shared too much about myself, and I had to stop-

 "He was a friend... The only one I trust even the actual circumstances, after you." I smirked, trying to get back to the usual and funny Cheng. But Chin Mae wasn't of the same idea.

"Was? Then why are you still in contact with him? Who's he for you?" he insisted while I clenched my hands into fists.

"Why should you care? Are you implying that we can be something?" I tried to joke around, but his grave expression stopped my smile from growing. "I don't want to talk about it." I shut the conversation off, moving slightly away from him.

"You can't leave me in the dark, Cheng!" Chin Mae scolded me, turning his body sideways so that he could face mine. 

"We grew up together, fought as normal teenagers do but had to keep contact with each other as our families are close." I surrendered, moving my fists next to my thighs. "When I decided to study abroad, I got my family's blessing only because he offered to come with me. That's it." I sighed heavily, but as I did so, Chin Mae's hand moved on mine. Caressing my fist lightly, I relaxed my hand at his persistent touch. 

"Why abroad?" he asked warily, "Something happened?" but I only sighed at his personal questions. It was a topic that I wasn't ready to face, and I despised how Chin Mae didn't care about it. 

"If we're friends, then why don't you answer any of my questions?" he inquired insolently as I grabbed his wrist and took him in front of the bathroom door.

"I guess we are on the same page with that." I chuckled, but Chin Mae demanded answers, and I could see it from how his eyes were burning up. I then lifted his chin and watched as he held my gaze. "You don't care about me in that way; my sex life has nothing to do with you, right?" I quoted pleasantly, "That's what you said."

Chin Mae pushed me forcibly against the door, his forearm against my throat. "Who's he. I need to know," I never saw him with such detached and emotionless expression. It didn't suit him at all, and it was a pity that a beautiful person like him had that displayed on his face.

"Release me, now." I huffed sharply, placing my hands around his shoulders. But Chin Mae didn't stand down and tired of fighting; I only spouted "Hong Tao. That's his name. Do you know him?"

"No, thank God." relieved, he freed me and leaned his forehead on my collarbone. It was a collection of wounds that night since all that commotion to know Hong Tao's name wasn't for jealousy but something else I would never be aware of. Maybe he really didn't care about me.

"Why abroad?" Chin Mae insisted, taking in a deep breath. "What happened between you and him?" he asked as he allowed me to brush his cheekbone's wound that was now healed.

"He made me fight pretty badly with my best friend," I responded harshly. "He was in love with me but Hong Tao manipulated my mind and feelings. I've said such hurtful things-" I chuckled bitterly, reviving the moment it happened in my head...if I could only go back in time.

"I told him to disappear, and he did. Nobody knows where he is, not even his family." I confessed, clearing my voice weary soon after. "With my family gone with their usual meetings, then with my friend vanished into nothing... Hong Tao was what I had left." Chin Mae watched me closely and didn't dare to speak. It was scary and uncomfortable, but maybe I would feel better after.

"He tried to get me to eat, to study, to attend my family's business meetings, but... it wasn't enough, I had enough. I could never forgive us for what happened." Chin Mae placed his hand on my arm as he wanted me to stop, but I couldn't. He wanted to know, so he had to listen until the end. "Then Hong Tao confessed that he had to do it, or my family would have punished us. He and his family worked along with mine for generations, so I needed to be corrected on the spot by the person I trusted the most."

"So I decided to leave and study abroad even if Hong Tao had to come along. I couldn't stay in that house anymore," I explained drily while Chin Mae started caressing my arm to give me comfort.

"I am sorry, I shouldn't-"I pressed a hand over his mouth while pushing him onto the bed, sitting on him with my legs astride. I didn't want to listen to any of his excuses; I knew he didn't mean to hurt me but-

"I told you that I didn't want to talk about it, didn't I?!" I shouted out of control. Chin Mae's arms were spread out next to his face, and I couldn't avoid but think about how good he looked beneath me, just like he was meant to be there for me. I was truly blessed. 

He then removed my hand from his lips and slowly reached my cheek "I am so sorry." at the touch, I sighed tiredly, bending my head over his palm to secretly be comforted. I released him after a few minutes and watch him disappear behind the bathroom door quietly before I rolled on my side of the bed and closed my eyes.

"Are you alright?" Chin Mae asked worriedly, reappearing in the room after some time. In response, I simply patted the empty space beside me, waiting for him to fill it up. "What if I lose control again?"

"Chin Mae, get your ass here and let's sleep. I have a massive headache; we both had a difficult night, so let's end it." I growled, unaware of how I made him feel uncomfortable, but I just wanted to sleep.

"Then I'll get you something for your head-" I grabbed his arm to get him closer and welcomed his body on mine by holding it firmly on mone side.

"I got it already," I mumbled, closing my eyes and laying my lips gently on his temple. "I got it right here."