Cheng P.O.V.

I couldn't make myself back away from him that night.

I knew I should. After everything that had happened, Chin Mae needed silence, sleep, probably several metres of distance between us—and instead, every part of me kept pulling closer.

His presence had been driving me insane since that afternoon.

His eyes. His lips. His skin. The way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

I'd tried to control myself.

Then I saw him with Liam.

I watched another man touch him in ways I'd imagined too many times, and whatever patience I'd been clinging to started falling apart.

Chin Mae could deny his sexuality as much as he wanted. 

Maybe he genuinely didn't understand it himself. 

But I wasn't blind.

I'd noticed how he changed whenever I spent more time with other people. 

The looks. 

The restlessness.

The stupid arguments he started just to pull my attention back toward him.

He wanted his place back.

The place where everything somehow revolved around him.

And perhaps that should have annoyed me.

Instead, I loved it.

Because it meant there was something between us that neither of us could keep calling friendship forever.

I was ready to accept whatever Chin Mae turned out to be.

The problem was that he wasn't.

Still, tonight wasn't supposed to be about us.

What happened with Brian mattered more than my feelings or jealousy. I knew that.

But one image wouldn't leave my mind.

His fangs.

I'd seen them.

Then he'd looked at me, and somehow they had disappeared.

Me.

I had brought him back.

Something about that realization tightened my chest. 

For once, I'd been important enough to pull someone out of something terrifying.

And I wanted to be that important to him again.

I was furious thinking about everyone who had already put their hands on him without understanding what they were touching. 

People who had hurt him, used him, frightened him.

Maybe that was exactly the problem.

I wanted him too much.

Deep down, I wanted to respect his decision and step away. 

But I'd spent most of my life swallowing what I wanted because somebody else's feelings, expectations or reputation mattered more.

With Chin Mae, I was tired of swallowing anything.

Especially after the restaurant.

I still didn't know what stopped me from breaking down that bathroom stall when I'd heard him moaning my name.

He'd called me his friend afterward.

Friend.

Right.

Now I had him pressed against my front door with his wrist caught behind him and my mouth far too close to his ear.

Perfect behaviour from a friend.

“Do you know how I felt after you left me alone at the pub with those girls?”

Chin Mae shifted beneath me.

“They were around me like fucking vultures, waiting for me to collapse so they could eat me alive.”

“You survived.” Of course that was his answer.

I tightened my hand around his waist.

“You said I shouldn't make you angry, but I still haven't heard an apology for forcing me into that wretched situation.”

I unlocked the apartment and pushed him inside.

He stumbled forward.

“Cheng, we're talking about completely different things—”

I caught myself staring at him.

What the hell am I doing?

He'd just survived something horrifying, and here I was picking a fight because I was jealous.

“Oh, really? Because I think we need to clear something up before you keep treating me like some kind of stallion who fucks anything that moves.”

His expression changed.

“I've fucked nobody.”

He blinked.

“Nobody,” I repeated. “It's a rumour. Someone started it, everyone decided it sounded believable, and apparently nobody thought to ask me.”

Chin Mae stared at me sceptically.

I laughed, but there was nothing funny about it.

He didn't believe me.

For some reason, that hurt more than the rumour itself.

“I'm surprised.” I bit my lip before it could betray me.

“I thought if it bothered you, you would've asked. I thought maybe you knew me better.”

“We've known each other for less than four months, Cheng. I don't know you.”

He stepped closer. “And your sex life doesn't concern me!”

There.

That was the Chin Mae I knew.

Angry. 

Sharp. 

Coming directly at me instead of disappearing inside himself.

“But it should concern you.” I caught his nape and pulled him closer. “I like you.”

The words escaped before I could soften them.

“And you like me. I've been trying to make you understand that, so how the hell am I supposed to fuck somebody else when you're in my head all the time?”

My voice echoed through the apartment.

For a moment, I couldn't believe I'd said it.

Again.

And somehow worse than before.

Chin Mae shoved me.

The back of my knees hit the sofa and I fell onto it.

“T-these are temporary feelings.” His voice shook. “Do you seriously want to ruin everything we have over something that's going to disappear?”

“Chin—”

“I killed Brian!”

That stopped me.

“I killed Brian. I drank his blood. I'm a vampire, for how fucking insane that sounds, and I don't even know how it happened.”

Tears spilled over.

“So no, Cheng. I don't want to talk about us. I don't want to talk about how our relationship might end because I lose control one day and kill you too!”

The last words collapsed into a desperate cry.

Every argument I'd prepared disappeared.

He turned toward the door.

I got up too quickly and stumbled after him.

He dodged my first attempt to catch him.

Then the second.

By the time his hand reached the doorknob, panic had swallowed whatever pride I had left.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

His body stiffened.

“I can't force you to stay.”

Even saying it hurt.

I pressed my face against his shoulder. “But do it for me, then.”

He didn't move.

“Let me help you. If I can't—if I fail—I'll let you walk away.”

My mouth rested against his shoulder. “But please, let me try first.”

His scent was mixed with rain and blood.

I hated that I could smell the second one.

But I wasn't afraid of what he'd become.

I was afraid of waking tomorrow and discovering he'd disappeared.

I couldn't imagine this apartment without him anymore.

No insults from the kitchen. 

No ridiculous arguments. 

No Chin Mae looking at me as though I was the most irritating person alive while staying beside me anyway.

Minutes seemed to pass before his hand finally settled over mine.

“How do you always make me give up so easily?” He turned just to disappear inside my arms.

There was the faintest smile on his face.

Relief flooded me.

I intertwined our fingers before he could change his mind and led him toward the sofa.

We sat too far apart.

I hated it immediately.

All I wanted was to touch him.

Not even sexually.

I wanted to see what Brian had done. 

I wanted to know where Chin Mae hurt. 

I wanted to erase every mark I could, even though I knew bodies didn't work that way.

My gaze dropped to his sweater. “Can I?” I moved closer and gently tugged the fabric.

Chin Mae stiffened.

Then slowly pulled it off.

Anger crawled through me.

Bruises. Cuts. Red marks.

Old scars tangled with new ones across pale skin.

My fingers hovered before touching anything.

I wanted to hold him so tightly that nobody could drag him away again.

Keep him.

Make him mine. Forever.

The thought was ugly enough that I recognised it immediately, but recognising it didn't make it disappear.

Sometimes I wished I could tear my heart out of my chest and put it directly into Chin Mae's hands.

Here.

Look at it.

Then tell me again this is temporary.

“They're healing already.” His voice pulled me back.

He touched the cut near his cheekbone.

“I can feel it. Maybe human blood makes me heal faster.”

“Like the movies and books?” A laugh escaped me.

My hand moved behind his head, fingertips travelling from his nape down his spine.

“I wonder why you weren't healing when we first met—”

“Cheng.” He pushed me back. “I don't want to complicate things between us.”

There it was again.

That wall.

“It's just difficult to stay away from you.”

His expression fell.

Immediately, I regretted saying it.

“Your other friends were buzzing around you all the time,” he muttered. “I don't think you missed me.”

Normally I would've teased him for sounding jealous.

I didn't.

“I couldn't bring myself to stop you from walking away.” His eyes lifted.

“I kept thinking I was imprisoning you. Forcing you. Manipulating you into doing whatever I wanted.” 

I scratched my palm, unable to look at him. “It was suffocating me.”

Admitting it made me feel strangely exposed.

“So besides testing your reactions, I wanted to see you interact with other people without me interfering. I keep you from things sometimes. Opportunities. People.”

I swallowed. “And I felt guilty.”

“Cheng…” He exhaled.

That was all.

The silence dug directly into my pride.

I hated being wrong.

I hated looking weak even more.

My father had made sure of that.

“It's fine.” I sat back. “You don't have to worry about it.”

The familiar mask slipped into place almost automatically.

Chin Mae watched me before changing the subject.

“What happens to Brian now? He said his pub was closed. That he paid a fine.”

I felt the phone in my pocket become heavier.

“Things were handled differently from how I wanted.”

“Who's this person?”

I looked at him. Of course he'd noticed. “He was a friend.”

Chin Mae's eyes narrowed.

“The only person I trust under the circumstances. After you, obviously.”

“Was?”

Shit.

“Then why are you still in contact with him? Who is he to you?”

My hands tightened. “Why do you care?”

I tried to smile. “Are you suggesting we can actually be something?”

His grave expression killed the joke immediately.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

I shifted away.

“You can't leave me in the dark, Cheng.”

Apparently the man who'd spent months hiding half his life had suddenly discovered the importance of transparency.

“We grew up together,” I surrendered. “Our families are close. We fought like normal teenagers, but we couldn't exactly disappear from each other's lives.”

I placed my fists beside my thighs.

“When I decided to study abroad, my family only agreed because he offered to come with me.”

“Why abroad?” Chin Mae's voice softened. “Did something happen?”

I sighed. 

“If we're friends, why don't you answer any of my questions?” That comment angered me enough to stand.

I caught his wrist and pulled him with me toward the bathroom.

“I guess we're on the same page, then.”

“What does that mean?”

I lifted his chin. “You don't care about me that way. My sex life has nothing to do with you.”

Recognition flashed across his face.

“Right? That's what you said.” He shoved me against the bathroom door.

Hard.

His forearm pressed across my throat.

For a second, I simply stared at him.

His expression was cold.

Detached.

It didn't suit him.

“Who is he?” His voice was low.

“I need to know.”

Need.

Not want.

My heartbeat accelerated.

“Release me.”

He didn't.

“Now.”

Still nothing.

I was too exhausted to start another fight.

“Hong Tao.”

Chin Mae froze.

“That's his name. Do you know him?”

“No.”

The change was immediate.

“Thank God.” He released me and lowered his forehead against my collarbone.

I stared down at him.

Thank God?

For one humiliating second, I'd thought all that desperation might have been jealousy.

Apparently not.

“Why abroad?” he asked again. “What happened between you and Hong Tao?”

My fingers moved almost automatically toward the wound on his cheekbone.

“He made me fight with my best friend.”

Chin Mae went quiet.

“Badly.” The memory tightened my jaw.

“My friend was in love with me. Hong Tao got into my head. Manipulated what I thought, what I felt.”

I gave a bitter laugh. “And I said things to my friend that…”

My voice faded.

There were some sentences you could apologise for a thousand times and never take back.

“I told him to disappear.”

Chin Mae's hand stopped moving against mine. “And he did.”

I cleared my throat. “Nobody knows where he is. Not even his family.”

The same hollow sensation opened inside my chest.

“With my family constantly away at meetings and my friend just… gone, Hong Tao was what I had left.”

Chin Mae watched me without interrupting.

Once I'd started, stopping felt worse.

“Hong Tao tried to keep me functioning. Made me eat, study, attend my family's business meetings.”

I stared past Chin Mae. “But it wasn't enough. I couldn't forgive him.”

Or myself.

“Eventually, Hong Tao admitted why he'd done it. He said my family would've punished us otherwise.”

Chin Mae's hand settled on my arm.

“He and his family have worked alongside mine for generations. Apparently I needed to be corrected immediately.”

The word still made me sick.

“By somebody I trusted.” My laugh came out dry.

“So I left. I decided I'd study abroad even if Hong Tao had to come with me. I couldn't stay in that house anymore.”

Silence.

Then Chin Mae spoke.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—”

I covered his mouth.

Enough.

I didn't want pity.

I didn't want apologies.

And I definitely didn't want that expression on his face.

I pushed him backward toward the bed.

He fell onto the mattress, and I followed, straddling him before either of us seemed to process what I was doing.

“I told you I didn't want to talk about it, didn't I?” My voice came out louder than intended.

Chin Mae stared up at me, his arms beside his head.

For one completely inappropriate second, my brain betrayed me.

He looked beautiful underneath me.

Too beautiful.

Like he belonged there.

I'm hopeless.

His hand rose slowly. He removed mine from his mouth and placed his palm against my cheek.

“I am so sorry.”

Everything inside me deflated.

I closed my eyes.

Without meaning to, I leaned into his touch.

Just slightly.

Enough to steal whatever comfort he was offering without admitting I needed it.

Eventually, I moved off him.

Chin Mae disappeared quietly into the bathroom while I rolled onto my side of the bed.

My head was pounding.

The alcohol. The pub. Brian. Chin Mae. Hong Tao. 

Memories I hadn't wanted to touch again.

Enough.

I closed my eyes.

Some time later, the bathroom door opened.

“Are you alright?”

I didn't answer.

Instead, I patted the empty space beside me.

Chin Mae remained where he was.

“What if I lose control again?”

I opened one eye.

He looked genuinely afraid.

Not of me. Of himself.

“Chin Mae, get your ass over here and let's sleep.”

He hesitated.

“I have a massive headache. We've both had a horrible night. Let's just end it.”

“Then I'll get you something for your head—”

He turned.

I caught his arm before he could escape again and pulled.

Chin Mae stumbled onto the bed and against me.

I wrapped one arm firmly around him.

His body immediately went tense.

Then, little by little, it softened.

“I've got it already,” I murmured.

“What?”

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips gently against his temple.

“I've got my medicine ... right here.”