Days passed by uneventfully. After the confrontation with King Maximilian, I’ve been working hard to earn Primavara a place where not even Magnemt could step on it. My family tried their best to talk me out of it, but I gave up on my studies and focus only on preparing myself to be a queen—and secured an agreement with Kevyn in the process.

Yes, the crown prince of Wondera. I know, technically I don’t need to marry to be crowned, but scale-wise, Wondera is practically a guarantee to get Magnemt off our back. It’s not like I have nothing to lose anyway. After what went down three months ago, I couldn’t be bothered to try my luck on love ever again, so might as well do a political marriage.

I still haven’t heard a word from Royce other than a very harsh ‘I told you so’. It’s been weird not talking to him for this long, especially since we’ve talked all my life, but I guess we can’t forever live in the past.

In the meantime, I have dukes and viscounts from my court relentlessly vying for my hand, some smarter than the other to actually offer something, but I’m still leaning toward Kevyn. Call me ambitious but let’s face it: they’re no match to a crown prince. I also have this secret side project with Al and Brandon, but let’s save that for later.

Tonight, we’re going to host an engagement ball for me and one of my suitors. If all went well, I promised Al a place among the candidates, too.

It’s a masquerade ball per my uncle’s request. Some gibberish about bringing up my romantic side, but I’ll let this slide. Actually, I’ve been letting a lot of things slide. After the confrontation, Dr. Rowan personally asked me to be more indulgent with my uncle, saying that it has caused his mind a great disruption.

Well, I would be devastated, too, if I were him. It turned out that King Maximilian had been abusing his closest friend, July, every time the duchess took Primavara’s side instead of Magnemt’s. And let’s just say she’d been taking our side a lot of times. That’s how all hell broke loose before Anne and I arrived at the scene.

On the brighter side. Tonight, all of my hard work will finally pay off. Tonight, I’ll see to it myself that Primavara will not fall to the likes of King Maximilian. And if my plan with Al and Brandon actually works out, that would be a cherry on top to my grand scheme.

But first, Timmy has to make sure I’m well away from any chandelier drops. My new head of security, since uncle assigned Randall to Brandon.

“His Highness Prince Brandon, Your Royal Highness.” Katya announces my cousin as he enters my chamber.

I look up from my vanity. “Brands?” I don’t remember having any appointment with him?

“Jenny, can we talk?” He looks restless. Ugh, this screams disaster. Ugh, why now? I could use something that actually works out in my life. Just one thing, is that too much?

Bracing myself, I stand with plastered smile. “Let’s take a walk in the garden.”

^^^

“I just came to let you know I’m leaving.”

I turn to Brandon in shock. “What? You’ll come back, though. Right?”

Brandon chuckles calmly. He’s matured a lot compared to when he first arrived. “Of course, Jenny. My mom has her husband and four sets of kids. My dad only has me.”

“And me! You prick.”

“Haha, yeah. If you’re not too busy with all those crown shits.”

I roll my eyes. “Language.”

“Jenny, promise me something?” He has this sad look in his eyes that I hope I didn’t see.

“Oh no, should I be worried?”

“No! For God’s sake, Jenny, will you stop?!” Brandon raises his voice suddenly. “At this point, everyone has given up telling you shits. But I won’t stop until you’re sick of it. You’ve been killing yourself long enough, Jenny! Don’t act like you care about dad when you don’t even care about yourself. In fact, about anything at all, beside proving yourself! But, after tonight, what then?!” Wow, he totally lost it. “Let me tell you what: nothing! You have no life beside the crown!”

“Well, I’d say being a queen is quite a life, don’t you think?”

“Jenny, you’re impossible!”

“No, Brands, help me out here.” I’m very confused right now. “What’s your point?”

Brandon sighs, “I can’t believe I tried to snatch this enormous burden from you once.” He catches me laughing, then says in calmer tone, “Jenny, promise me that if I win, you’d consider choosing yourself.”

He’s not making a lot of sense. “You mean, like, marrying myself?”

“...over the kingdom. Please, Jenny, if I win—and I will—you won’t choose Kevyn or anyone from the court.”

“But—”

“No buts. Just promise me. Can you?” Brandon looks at me sincerely. “Consider this a small price to keep me here.”

“No, wait, hear me out. You’re saying you want me to choose Al?”

“What? No! I mean, I don’t mind; Al’s cool, but no!” He looks frustrated. “I mean, there are other options, aren’t there? Timmy. Raul.”

I glare at him. “Don’t you dare—”

“No, now you hear me out! I’m sorry, okay?” He shoots me a desperate look. “I’m really sorry about how things turned out for you. But I’m the one to blame, Jenny. I snitched on him. He didn’t do anything to betray you.”

It’s true. Shortly after the confrontation, Brandon turned himself in and confessed that he was King Maximilian’s insight on Primavara. I guess the king’s attempt to provoke my uncle was a double-edged sword, as it made Brandon realize he was a pawn rather than a grandchild to him, and thus decide to switch side and play the double agent.

But it’s also true that Raul has never once reached out to me afterwards. And I’m done wondering why.

From now on, I’ll be around so often you won’t get to call me blue moon ever again.

Well, you know what? From now on, I’m done humouring your bull. “He didn’t do anything to convince me otherwise, either. Just let it go, Brandon. I know I have.”

“Well, you can always choose no one, if you so like. A single queen sounds badass. So there’s that. Now, do we have a deal?”

I smile. “I promise to put me first. Happy?”

Brandon beams. “Well, not that I need it. But wish me luck, okay?”

I pull him in an embrace. “Be careful, kiddo.”

“Always, sis.”

^^^

That night, Al and Brandon come to my engagement ball bearing exceptional news. King Maximilian is no more. They’ve succeeded in dethroning him, making Prince Emmett the king, effective immediately. I didn’t keep up with the whole process—petitions, council’s involvement, the lawsuit—since all I’ve done is providing them evidences. But I’m so proud of them two brats nonetheless. Hehe.

“...Al was offered to take the throne, since he’s the one leading the case. But you know him.” Alycia laughs wholeheartedly, beaming with proud for her twin.

Beside her, Al adjusts his masks nervously. “Can you give us a minute, Alice?”

“Sure thing, Al. I’ll see you soon, Jenny. We have a lot to catch up.” She blowkisses me before disappearing into the crowd.

Al clears his throat. “I’ll just say this. I didn’t prepare flowers or poetry, but I have a ring ready with your name engraved.” My smile falters a bit as he looks at me longingly. “I’ve missed you, Jenny. And this whole dethroning my pops thing makes me realize royal duties aren’t that horrible after all, so, um. What I mean is, maybe marrying a queen doesn’t sound so bad. So ... yeah. Do find me later, Jenny, if you feel the same thing.” He kisses my cheek and walks away.

Some other suitors came and said similar things, even some crown princes I don’t recognize. After a while, I decide that I’ve earned some time out in the balcony.

The air is crisp when I step out. Soon enough, it will be autumn, and my sister will be wedded. Time flies, even when you’re not paying attention.

“Princess.” All of the sudden, a man bows as he steps out of the shadow.

I turn around and freeze. A dark long suit frames a tall silhouette, the build of a man. From where he stands, it’s too dark to make out anything, but that pair of azure eyes give him away.

My blue moon prince.

“Raul.” I gasp a little for air.

He takes another step into the light at the sound of his name. And that’s when I see it.

He looks... disheveled. I mean, not literally. His face is clean, his suit is neat, but his eyes are hollow. Like life is eating him up. “How have you been?” And when he talks, a thousand emotions hit me.

“What makes you think you could just come out and ask me how I’ve been?” Rather than annoyed, I’m really curious.

“I know, right?” He laughs bitterly. He studies me for a moment before saying sadly, “Brandon’s not lying. You didn’t even raise your voice at me. What has the crown done to you, princess?”

“And how’s that any of your business?”

“It’s not, princess. It’s your people’s, though. To maintain their sovereign’s welfare. To keep you happy. It works vice versa, J. I’m sure even more than Magnemt, the people of Primavara understand that.”

Oh, no he didn’t just bring our kingdoms into this.

“What are you doing here, Raul?!” I snap at him, suddenly annoyed. If he thinks he can come and go with his know-it-all attitude as he pleases, he needs to wake up.

Raul looks satisfied as he answers calmly, “I don’t like how we left things.”

“Took you a long time figuring that out.” I fold my arms, totally unfazed. “Go on, then. Be done with your closure and get a move on already.”

Raul frowns, but quickly recovers. “But first, pray let me know—how’s life treating you, princess?”

But I’m not done yet. “Not your business, prince.”

“Oh, please, don’t. I’m no longer one.”

I blink in surprise. “What?”

“I disowned myself.”

“But, why?”

“I’m earning your uncle’s trust, J.”

I shake my head in confusion. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” My uncle’s trust? Shouldn’t he be earning my trust instead?

“Remember when he warned me to ask for his permission before proposing to you?”

“Are you ... proposing to me? Right now?” This is it. He’s gone crazy.

Raul looks baffled. “The order ... I seem to have messed the order. No, princess. Let me plea my case first.”

“You’re not going to straight out ask me to trust you this time? Trust you, no questions asked?” I laugh dryly at myself, at my naivety back then. Time flies indeed.

“No. I believe you still do, princess. Nonetheless you deserve an explanation.”

The nerve of him! “I should get back to the ballroom. It’s my engagement ball, after all.” I say, dismissing myself as I walk past him.

Raul grabs my hand and spins me around. “Should I just straight out propose to you then? Is it really a bad thing to wait for your uncle’s approval, to actually respect his concerns?” He raises his voice, but his expression betrays him. Like he’s about to cry.

I hate how he affects me so much. After all this time. I hate how I really want to cry, too.

He pulls me in a possessive, frustrated embrace. “I’m glad I haven’t given up on us, J. I’m so glad you haven’t given up on us. The waiting ... I understand that it’s frustrating. But even after I cut ties with my family, your uncle wouldn’t let me anywhere near you until my pops’ no longer a king. Until absolutely no harm could befall you. And the most frustrating thing is, I understand. As long as my pops has his power, he would find a way to hurt you, and I’d really hate that.”

For a second I just stand there, taking it all in.

But something isn't quite right. “But then ... why did you cut ties with your family?” I ask, my voice falters.

Raul lets go to look at me. And when he speaks, his voice hints no regrets. “As long as I’m a Hamthor, he would find a way to humiliate you, J.”

I’m so frustrated I feel like I could burst into tears any minute now. “But how about your dad? You’re the only one he had!”

Rather than surprised, Raul looks hurt. “A simple gratitude would be nice. But you just have to question everything, don’t you?”

“No, Raul, I’m sorry.” Desperate, I hastily take his hands and envelope them with mine. “I just ... I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for you. I can’t even promise you the same thing, Raul ....”

“And I wouldn’t want to make you, princess.” He kisses my hand softly. “My dad will be fine. I promised to visit often. And it helps that the whole family, with the exception of my pops, support me. You, on the other hand.” He glowers at me. “You’re ready to give up on love, aren’t you? On anything, actually, other than the crown. Why did you give up on med??!”

I laugh, feeling of relief washes over me. “Yes. Yes, thank you, Raul.” An unplanned tear falls down my cheek. Despite my constant denial, deep down I have always known. I was losing myself fast, I feel like tonight would be my last straw. My point of no return. I’m just so glad Raul found me just before. Not too early, not too late. “And you, does that mean you do?” How much exactly he had to endure to be here with me? Oh, why is it always the same pattern? Why must everyone around me pay for my happiness? This is so frustrating.

Raul flicks my forehead with mock annoyance. “This stubborn girl, get it in your head already!” He sighs as he gently wipes my cheek with his thumb. “I’m on your side, princess. Always.”

“But, Raul, at Anne’s engagement ball ... you said you couldn’t care less.”

“What are you ...? No, princess, you misunderstood!” He whines. “Did you let it bother you, all this time? You’re really something, you know that? What I mean is I couldn’t care less; if I want to be with you, then I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.” He gives me the warmest smile, not even a hint of bitterness as he adds, “Even if it means I have to give up being a doctor. I’ve made up my mind, J.” He sighs. “Besides, it’s more like a cause than a passion for me. It was a super subtle revolt against my aggressive kingdom.”

I manage to sneak a weak laugh. “More like, an attempt to minimize the damage. Admit it, you’re more peace-loving than Primavarans themselves.”

“But I was a prince! That must’ve counted for something, no?”

This is nice, I think, as I lazily give in to my growing grin. It’s been so long since we shared a banter. Been a while since I was okay. I steal a glance at the guy that makes it all possible. The guy that never stopped fighting for me, even though I stopped believing in him. And for the first time, even though I hate to look vulnerable, I let my tears falling down freely. “Anyway, what did I say about talking to me first? This whole thing, you shouldn’t have to endure it all alone. You could’ve at least kept me in the loop!”

“And lead you on while wishing for someone’s death, in the case Al didn’t win today?”

“Well, if you’d just ask me, which you didn’t, I prefer being led on than being kept in the dark!” All this time, it’s like we kept missing each other, but I’ve decided, this ends now.

Raul groans. “Can I kiss you already?”

“Can you propose to me already?”

Oh, how I’ve missed his laugh. And, oh, how I’ve missed his kiss.