Hunter’s POV
“95 bottles of beer on the wall. 95 bottles of beer. Take one down. Pass it around. 94 bottles of beer on the wall! 94 bottles of beer on the…-” Someone please kill me now.
“Dakota! I swear to god that I will throw you out of this car right now if you don’t shut your damn mouth!” I hear a little hmph in the back from Dakota, but at least he finally stopped singing.
“Fine Dad” He is such a little brat. He is so lucky that I’m driving or else I would show him just how much of a dad I could be with him bent over on my lap.
Every 6 months, Jen insists that we all do a team bonding day that’s full of bullshit. I hate them, but Jen and everyone else likes them so I guess my say doesn’t count. I’m not bitter at all. This time we are doing some kind of scavenger hunt, relay race, and a bunch of other crap that I wasn’t paying attention to when Jen was telling me.
I should have really been paying attention to what she was saying before agreeing, because now I got stuck picking up this little brat, and taking him to the gym. Apparently his car broke down, and no one else was able to take him so I got stuck doing it. I told him to get into the back because I didn’t want to talk to him, but now I’m regretting that decision because I can’t strangle him when he’s sitting in the back.
Luckily we got to the gym without any more mishaps, and the kid all but scurried out of the car. He looked like he was bursting with excitement, and he looks like he’s going to enjoy this. Jen is always in charge of planning and setting everything up for everyone else. She usually picks one or two people to help her, so I’m surprised that she didn’t ask the brat.
“Hello everyone, and welcome to our semiannual Team Bonding Day! We’ve got some new additions to the team, so let’s show them how it’s done. This time we are doing lots of activities. The first activity is a scavenger hunt. Melanie and I have created a list of items for you guys to find and bring to us in the gym. This is a partner challenge, but don’t worry I have taken the liberty of picking your partners for you” Great I have to work with someone. At least in a group I could just stand around and let everyone else do the work.
“First up we have our very own Mr.Ford, and our newest employee, Dakota Jones!” I should’ve pulled over and strangled him when I had the chance.
“Ha! Now you’re stuck with me Hunter, and no matter what you do you can’t get rid of me” The little boy smirked at me with his pretty little lips.
“Whatever Brat, as long as we win. I don’t lose”I crossed my arms and he just stuck his tongue out at me. Very mature.
We got a checklist full of items before Jen blew the air horn signaling the start. The first item on the list was a dumbbell, and the heavier it was the higher the score. I watched Dakota pick up a 5lb weight, and I have never wanted to facepalm more. I just told him to put it back before grabbing a 150lb dumbbell which is the heaviest dumbbell that we leave out for everyone. If for whatever reason someone wants a heavier one they have to come see me. We brought it and put it in my office to store it. Jen said we can pile them somewhere as long as we bring our stack to the gathering area at the end.
The next item on the list is a jump rope. Dakota can run through the machines with ease, so I let him get that while I grab the next item which is a medicine ball. A water bottle, towell, a pool weight, and we had one more thing left. We had to take a picture of one of us doing some kind of exercise.
“Wait I think it would be funny if we recorded you curling me instead of a weight” Dakota already started setting up his phone to record.
“You do realize that you weigh nothing to begin with, and compared to what I actually lift you weigh -50 pounds.” He just rolled his eyes at me and stood in front of me waiting to be lifted. I picked him up and did some bicep curls, and even some overhead presses. This was a breeze, and maybe I liked the little giggles that were coming from a certain ginger’s mouth so I tried to show off a little.
“Okay. Okay. Put me down. We’re finished so let’s go to Jen. Hurry up” We ran and brought all of the junk to Jen who smiled. She marked our time after making sure that we had everything, and now we just had to wait for the others to finish.
I watched as Dakota walked over to my office, and curled up in my chair, “How the fuck are you so small? Did you not get fed?”
“Actually I eat a lot, and I’m not that small. I'm 5’3” This little boy is a whole foot shorter than me, and about a fifth of the size of me. Fuck, that’s cute, “Aw you think I’m cute? Thank you”
“Where did you get that idea from, brat?” I scowled.
“Um you literally just said that my size is cute, or that I eat a lot. You weren’t exactly clear” Shit! I said that out loud. Well fuck me.
“Well you’re still a brat, even if you are cute” Once again he stuck his tongue out at me. If he sticks that tongue out one more time, I’ll show him just where it belongs.
Jen called us out to the main room to announce the score. When she announced that Dakota and I actually did manage to win the scavenger hunt, I grunted as a little body wrapped around me in joy.
“We won! We won! Take that Tucker!” My lips curled much to my demise, but thankfully Dakota didn’t notice. I can’t have him thinking that I actually like his presence.
“Okay guys, the next event is a Just Dance competition. Please pick the first person from your team to compete” I have absolutely zero rhythm. The last time I played this game was when Blake practically begged me to when he was 12 years old.
When Dakota suggested that I be the first one to go up and dance, I just glared at him in response. He scrunched up his nose, but went to go dance. I have to admit that it was very amusing to watch Tucker trying to follow the yellow hand of his avatar. Dakota is actually a good dancer, and I have to admit that he has a really nice body.
It finally was my turn, and I was unfairly put against Georgia, who used to dance competitively. I am a sore loser, and super competitive so I will always try to win even if the odds are against me. I’m pretty sure that I looked like a fucking idiot, but I did get to hear those little giggles again. Man this brat is turning me into a fucking pansy. I need to get laid.
Needless to say I lost. Miserably. I’m not gonna be all sappy and say shit like it was all worth it to hear Dakota laugh, cause it wasn’t and I hated every second of the experience, but I do have to admit that the brat is starting to get to me.
Or at least he was until he shouted, “C’mon Hunter! Shake that fat ass!” That ladies and gentlemen is an instant boner killer.
Finally it was over, and the totals were added. We lost, obviously. Georgia and her partner ended up winning the challenge to no one’s surprise. I looked over to the brat, and saw that his once smiley face was now in a little pout. I guess I’m not the only sore loser here. He looked cute as usual, but part of me liked seeing a smile on his face more.
“The next challenge is going to be really interesting. We are doing a 3 legged race!” Are you kidding me Jen? She has got to be doing this on purpose.
The already obvious problem became even more apparent when we tied our legs together. His legs were much smaller and shorter than mine. When Jen yelled go, I tried and I really did try to do the race properly, but I would take one step and suddenly he’s on his way to doing the splits. Eventually I just gave up, hoisted him up by his side, and sprinted towards the finish line while he flailed around yelling at me.
“Put me down, you old man!” Dakota was slapping me but it really just felt like feathers falling on me.
“Oh don’t get your panties in such a twist, brat. No thanks to you we won, so try to be a little more appreciative” Despite my response I did actually put him down.
“Actually you guys lost because you cheated”Jen informed us and once again the little brat started whining at me.
“I didn’t cheat at shit, Jen. You never said that I couldn’t carry my partner”And she didn’t. Man, does everyone here have a stick jammed up their asses.
“Well no, but I didn’t think I had to. Plus it’s not fair for everyone else that Dakota is so small and you are so strong” Now Jen was spewing shit from her mouth.
“Oh Boo hoo, Jen. Life’s not fair. Cry me a fucking river” I honestly don’t know why I was getting so worked up over it. I guess I just wanted to excel at everything, and I wasn’t going to let bullshit get in my way.
“It’s okay Hunter. We’ll just have to practice, so we can win next time”Dakota tried to be all positive, but the next time I’m tying him up it won’t be to my leg. To appease him I just grunted as we watched Tucker and his partner get praised for winning. What made it even worse was that the brat even hugged him as part of his congratulations. Tucker should watch his back or he might not end up with a job tomorrow.
When all of the challenges were all over I could not wait to get home and take a big fat nap. Hanging out with all of these children is giving me a headache.
“Um Hunter, could you take me home?”Ugh. I forgot about that.
“As long as you don’t start with that 99 bottles of beer crap again” I crossed my arms and started heading to the car, while he trailed after me like a little lamb.
“You know you love my singing Hunter” He smiled at me, and his dimples showed up.
“Keep dreaming brat. I’d rather slam my head into a wall for an hour than have to listen to a minute of your singing” I smirked as I saw his little pout return.
“Well when I become famous, I know who I’m not including in my thank you speech” He hmphed and this time I let him sit in the front seat.
Much to my enjoyment, the car ride to his house was silent. He was just on his phone the whole time after he realized that I was not going to entertain him. We got to his house in a relatively short amount of time, and when he got out of the car I was ready to race back home until I heard a little knock on my window. I rolled the window down and he climbed up the step.
Before I could question him, he leaned over and gave me a little peck on the cheek. I was very giddy on the inside, but on the outside I just scowled, “ Thanks for the ride old man. I had lots of fun today. I’ll see you tomorrow morning bright and early!”
“Later Brat, stay out of trouble so I don’t have to pick your ass up anymore. Okay?” He saluted me before running off and into his house.
Why the hell did he kiss me? And why the hell did I like it. I mean sure the brat’s good looking and all, but I’m like twice his age. My damn son is older than he is. I’m not a pervert. God, you’re one fucked up son of a bitch for making me hate everyone else except for this fucking brat. If I don’t end up in hell, I’m coming for your ass when I die.
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