The birds' chirpings, the blinding sunlight, the chilly breeze all from my opened window-it's morning.
IT'S MORNING.
I quickly opened my eyes and sat up and I have to curse this early in the morning for that decision. I feel dizzy in an instant for having to move so quickly when my senses are not even awake yet. I groaned loudly. What was I thinking? But it's morning already and...
I rest my forehead on my arms above my folded knees. I need to calm down first and took the deepest breath I could manage. When I finally have all my senses to work together, I opened my eyes again.
"He's not here, dummy." I told myself and laugh bitterly.
There's that familiar pang in my chest and I have to clench my fist on it again. No. No, I'm not going to cry.
What did I even expect? Touching the cold, empty side of the bed-he's gone. Of course, he would not be here anymore.
Bright is gone.
I repeated the mantra in my head: I'm not going to cry.
I breathe deeply and just when I'm about to leave the bed, my phone on my bedside table rings. I immediately reached for it. I really don't know what I was hoping for but damn it, how can be so disappointed receiving the news that I passed my entrance exam of my dream school? Was I really hoping that I'll receive something from Bright? We didn't even use any cellphone.
Bright is gone.
I have to accept that.
The moment I stepped out of my bed-there goes all the proof that what happened yesterday was not a dream. I didn't notice them a first but they are all in here.
Every cloth, every receipt, every ticket, every little thing that Bright and I used and picked up yesterday are all in here in my room. They are all neatly scattered in my sofa and table. It wasn't a dream. Everything is real.
Bright was real.
No, I'm not going to shed another tear.
I suddenly heard some noises outside my room and I didn't think twice to immediately go there. No, I'm not hoping. I'm not hoping-
"Oh, good morning, Win! Did you have a nice sleep?"
"A-Aunt Lilia..."
My housekeeper, Lilia, smiles at me. "Your breakfast will be done in a few minutes more, dear. Would you like some coffee first?"
I had to sit down and massage my head. WHAT AM I THINKING?
I have to stop all the delusional thinking that I have right now. Bright is gone and he's never going to return again. I have to stop putting myself in a more miserable situation. I have to stop. I have to...
"Did you see someone get out my room, auntie?"
"See someone get out of your room? Did you invite a friend over?"
"Y-Yes."
"Oh, that's nice. You never had anyone in here before except me. But I didn't see nor notice anyone to leave your room or the house, dear. Your friend might have left earlier before I got in here."
I'm already at war with myself. I should stop everything that I'm already planning in my mind because I know every single one of them will lead me to hurt myself. I should stop and yet my heart keeps hurting for more-this pain is what keeping me from stopping.
I have to find Bright.
I stood up and went to my room to change. I took my wallet and my phone. I need to leave.
"You're leaving already? How about breakfast? You should bring an umbrella because the weather forecast said it might rain."
"I'm sorry, auntie. Something important came up that's why I need to go now. Thank you for the weather update!"
I didn't wait for her response and I ran.
I don't have my car with me because my second eldest cousin borrowed it. Now, I have to run to our village's main gate to hail myself a cab. I ran as fast as I can only to stop midway.
What am I doing? What am I actually thinking right now? Am I actually planning to see Bright? To where am I going exactly? How will I get there without even knowing the exact location of my destination?
What am I doing with myself?
A loud thunder cracks up in the sky and before I even noticed that all the skies have turned dark-it started pouring. How can the shitty weather forecast be accurate now? I had to run again to find a place where I can stay and, luckily, I have the nearest waiting shed.
I'm all wet and now my tears have started to pour uncontrollably.
My heart aches.
I'm never going to see Bright again.
My heart hurts that I'm having the difficulty to breathe.
"Win?"
I looked up to whoever called my name and shock will never be enough to describe what I felt upon seeing this man before my eyes-I didn't even notice his car parked in front of me.
This man smiles but there was something in his eyes. "I'm Marcus and I know you know me already..."
I couldn't understand what he was saying except for that he wanted me to come with him. My heart is racing in my chest and it's hurting me more. Marcus, Bright's dad, is here in front of me wearing an all-black ensemble.
I am already expecting for the worst but I couldn't stop myself from coming with him. I joined him in the car and he told his driver that we should go.
Am I ready for this?
Am I ready to accept this?
I don't know for how long we are driving for but all I know is that I can't stop my tears.
I didn't notice that the car has already stopped until Sir Marcus has asked me to go out now. The rain has already stopped, too, and the skies are clearing again.
We're here at Bright's hotel.
We were immediately greeted by the receptionists with dry towels as if expecting as to be wet from the rain.
"Please help yourself, Win. You might catch a cold. I've already asked for new clothes for you."
I can only nod at Sir Marcus but I was about to ask what are we exactly doing here when-
"I told you to stop looking at me like I'm dying, dummy. You're even crying already. Have you been calling out my name?"
Standing a few feet away from me-in his hospital gown, band aid on his lip, fresh blood on top of his hand, maybe from his dextrose-removal...
"B-Bright..."
I don't care anymore to what will people might say or what will be their reactions. I run. I run towards Bright and immediately throw myself to him for a big hug. We collapsed on the floor but all I can hear is his laughing. All I can feel is his heart's rapid beating against my chest.
Bright is here. He's still here. He's really here.
"I-I'm not dreaming, right? Y-You're r-really here..."
"I am, Win. I am here. This is not a dream even though you might feel like it is."
I jokingly punched his chest and he only chuckles.
He's really here.
I didn't know I was crying again until he reached for my face and wipe all of them.
"You're really here, Bright. H-How is this possible?"
He smiles and I can feel his own pure happiness. For the first time, I can feel our hearts calm down together. No more ache, no more pain. Just our hearts beating.
"I only asked for my one last, dying wish... but instead He gave me a reason to live."
I'm crying again but this time because my heart is filled with happiness.
"You are my very reason to continue living, Win."
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