When I got back to the colony, I wasn’t expecting to be beaten down to the ground with questions.

“Where have you been? It was a simple errand, what could have taken so long? How come you were separated from Colin? How come you didn’t answer your phone when we called?” Master Wei yelled as soon as I walked through the door. I had answers for all of the questions that he asked except the last.

I pulled out my phone and examined it. It seems I don’t get very good service underground. Looks like I’ll be adding that to the list of things to complain about fixing. I shrugged. There was no argument left in me. Between fighting with Colin, and questioning Connor’s mother, I was exhausted.

“None of that matters, Uda. The point is, we’ve been trying to get ahold of you because your family contacted us.” Jac cut in. My eyes went wide. My family contacted me? Did they want me to come home? Could I see my brothers?

“Really? What did they say?” I could barely contain my excitement. I anxiously waited for Jac or Master Wei to spit it out, but both of them looked away. What was this? Tell me the good news already!

“Cal went missing.” Colin walked into the room. “Cal disappeared on the way back from school. His twin brother saw it happen.” Colin spoke with no emotion at all. My heart practically stopped. I couldn’t breathe. Cal was taken? How could this happen?

What hurt even more was that my parents only contacted me because Cal went missing. I couldn’t think about that now though. It wasn’t fair to Cal to be worried about what the family did to hurt me. I promised that when I went to see them, I’d be civil and detached.

“I guess I’ll be going then.” I turned right back around and started shuffling my shoes back on. Part of me wanted Colin to come. The other part screamed that it was a terrible idea to even consider. I knew how my parents felt about supernatural beings, so I didn’t really want to find out what they considered gay relationships to be. If you could call what “Colin and I” have a relationship.

“Go where?” Jac asked. He made his way up to Master Wei’s shoulder so he could address me directly. I sighed with my back turned to them. Colin was there, no doubt about it. But did he say anything? Did he offer to come with, or even comfort me over my missing brother? No. No he didn’t.

“I’ve got class in an hour. And then I’m going to investigate my own brother's disappearance.” Because that’s what I do now, apparently. I wanted to say that last part but I only thought about it. I was already wearing human clothes, so there was no reason to feel weird while going to college.

My hand was on the door while I waited for a response. Anything from Colin would have been nice. I would have taken a “good luck!”, or a “have fun!” but neither came. I would have even taken an “I love you”. Maybe he didn’t feel it anymore and I was just dead weight he was forced to carry around.

“I probably won’t be back tonight.” I dared to say before closing the door behind me. I knew it was cruel but Colin did the same thing to me. It was cruel, and painful.

I started on my way down the stairs. I had a long way to go, and not a whole lot of time in between. Class started at two, and it was already one fifteen. Was I really going to class when Cal was taken? What if the fire showed up again? I knew my family called me because all of this was out of their depth. I was being cruel to think that I was going to make them wait just like they made me wait.

I sat at the bottom stair. This is really hard. Everything is hard these days. Everything is scary and overwhelming. I thought I had a better understanding of this world, but I don’t. I’m still dependent on Colin, and he isn’t here with me. Why isn’t he here with me? I’ve apologized, I’ve tried extra hard to do things the “Dragon” way, I’ve tried not to be human-like. I can’t think of anything else. He isn’t sitting by my side, and at some point, it has to stop being my fault.

It has to stop being my fault, I told myself. Maybe if I thought that enough times, I would believe it.

I got up and headed to my parents. It wouldn’t be too bad if I missed one class. At least, that was what I was convincing myself at the moment.

***

Getting into town was difficult, and I’d be lying if buses weren’t the most confusing contraptions I’ve ever encountered. Who memorizes road maps to figure out which bus they need to get on? Definitely not me.

Once getting into town by bus, I decided to just save myself the energy and take a taxi instead. I wasn’t sure I could handle another bus ride with some old drunk guy snoring on my shoulder.

“Okay, Sam. You can do this. You are here for the missing human, not for your brother.” I told myself sternly as I got out of the taxi. That taxi driver’s fare was definitely rigged higher than it needed to be. This commute would have been twenty times easier if I had just flown here with my actual wings. Why is it that the cheapest method of transportation still robs me?