It was late afternoon on Christmas Eve when they reached the street where Charlie’s family lived. The dying sun cast long shadows in front of them as they walked through the slushy streets, which lay deserted in the cold. Beside him, Charlie felt the tension steadily building in Vasco’s body as they made their way deeper into the slums.
He bit back the accusations that were rising in his mind, well aware it was his own self-hatred driving his fears about what Vasco might be thinking of him. His stomach was churning with anxiety at the idea of seeing his family again, imagining his worst thoughts about himself coming out of their mouths. It took the sound of Vasco’s voice to bring him out of his own head.
‘You’re from the Karbher Quarter?’ His eyes scanned the gloomy tenement blocks that towered above them on either side of the street, alert to any sign of movement. Charlie wondered whether he was regretting coming unarmed.
Charlie kicked a stone along the ground as he walked, his hands deep in his coat pockets, and decided that he might as well be honest. ‘I grew up in the Spike.’
A look of pained understanding flashed across Vasco’s face. ‘You don’t mean …’
Before either of them could say anything more, the voices of three small children rang out from further along the street.
‘Charlie!’
‘Look, it’s Charlie!’
‘Granny, Charlie’s back!’
‘This is your family?’ Vasco murmured, and Charlie nodded.
‘Charlie!’ Ruby cried out, wrapping her arms around his knees, and looking up at him with round, questioning eyes as she hugged him. ‘Where did you go? I missed you.’
Charlie felt the tension ease from his jaw as a smile broke over his face. ‘I was at work,’ he said, gathering her up into his arms and carrying her towards the entrance to their tenement, while Vasco followed a little way behind them. ‘I wanted to make sure you all had a happy Christmas.’
‘I wrote my letter to Father Christmas all by myself this year,’ Ruby said, beaming at him and revealing more missing teeth than he remembered seeing before he had left. ‘Can I read it to you?’
‘Sure.’
They had reached the front gate. Joon had come out to meet him, while the boys, Leo and Dima, peered shyly up at Charlie from behind her long skirt.
‘So you’ve come home,’ she said, wiping her hands on her apron as she observed him with piercing eyes that always seemed to see more than he wanted them to.
‘I’m sorry,’ Charlie began, lowering Ruby to her feet. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t –’
The old woman’s fierce embrace knocked the rest of his words out of him. ‘You’re here now, that’s all that matters,’ she said, holding Charlie’s body tight against hers. When she looked up at him again, Charlie saw there were tears on her cheeks, and his eyes stung at the sight. ‘I’m just so happy to see you. I’m so glad you’ve come home to us, Charlie.’
Her gaze travelled over his shoulder, and Charlie, looking behind him, saw that Vasco was standing in the street, a bemused expression on his face as the children ran around him gleefully, giggling and tugging at his hands.
‘And who is this?’ Joon asked, casting Charlie a knowing look that made heat rise to his cheeks.
‘This is Vasco. He’s my …’ Charlie cleared his throat. ‘Friend.’
Extricating himself from the children, Vasco stepped forward, one hand outstretched. ‘Pleased to meet you, ma’am,’ he said, his other hand hastily flattening his hair.
‘What a polite young man.’ Joon smiled and patted his hand. ‘Won’t you come inside too?’
‘I should be getting back,’ Vasco said, looking quickly at Charlie. ‘I don’t want to intrude.’
Without thinking, Charlie took his hand, and addressed the ground. ‘Don’t go.’
‘We’ll be inside, Charlie,’ Joon said, gathering the children around her and encouraging them to go indoors. ‘Both of you are welcome to come in too, whenever you’re ready.’
‘Granny, here – take this,’ Charlie said, his voice flat as he took the money he had earnt for them out of his back pocket and pressed the notes into her wrinkled hand. ‘To help with the debts.’
Joon stood frozen for a moment, staring at the worn notes in her fist without a word. Then she nodded to herself, and, with her hands against her heart, followed the children into their dingy home.
‘Well,’ Charlie said, heaving a deep sigh and turning to Vasco. ‘Now you’ve met my family.’
‘Did you write a letter to Father Christmas too?’ Vasco asked, his dark eyes twinkling.
Charlie snorted. ‘I guess I didn’t get around to writing one this year.’ Crossing his arms, he leant back against the gate, hardening himself for what he knew was bound to be coming next. ‘So, you’ve done your good deed for the season now, huh? You picked up a stray and found a home for him. You want a medal?’
‘Charlie –’
‘You know what I am, and what I do,’ Charlie said fiercely, steeling himself. ‘If you want to walk away now, that’s fine with me. Just get it over with, already.’
Vasco met his eyes and did not look away. ‘None of that matters to me. It’s you I care about.’
Everything was silent in the freshly falling snow. The last rays of the sun as it set cast their golden light upon them, so that Charlie noticed the deep reds and browns in Vasco’s unruly hair for the first time. He had thought it was black until now. The world seemed to have taken on a softer hue. When Vasco looked at him like that, there was such a rush of feeling in Charlie’s heart that he almost felt frightened by it.
‘I want …’
‘Charlie,’ Ruby was calling from inside the house, ‘where are you?’
‘This is your last chance,’ Charlie said, his voice soft, ‘because I’m warning you – if you stay with me, we’re both going to end up getting hurt.’
‘It’s getting cold.’ A half-smile graced Vasco’s face as he ruffled Charlie’s hair. ‘Shall we go inside?’
That night, they fell asleep together on the floor in front of the empty fireplace, blankets piled above and below them to keep warm. It was a bitterly cold Christmas night, so they kept their sweaters on and huddled close together, safe in each other’s arms. The comforting scent of pine and woodsmoke was the last impression Charlie had before he drifted into sleep. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he dreamed without wandering into nightmares.
‘Charlie, wake up,’ Vasco murmured from beside him. ‘It’s Christmas Day.’
‘Huh?’ Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, it took Charlie a while before he remembered where he was, and who was with him. ‘Oh, right – Christmas …’
‘I’m sorry I don’t have anything to give you,’ Vasco said, sitting on top of the blanket with his legs tucked up underneath him. ‘But Alexandra and I have come up with a surprise.’ Seeing Charlie’s dubious expression, Vasco gave the bridge of his nose a gentle tap with his index finger. ‘And before you say you don’t like surprises, you liked it when we went ice skating together, didn’t you?’
Charlie settled himself into a cross-legged position. ‘This is all I want,’ he said, his heart feeling lighter than it had done in years. ‘I don’t need anything else.’
There was a sudden commotion outside. The sound of raucous shouts and the screams of excited children carried in from the street. Then, out of nowhere, Alexandra appeared on the threshold, dressed all in red with black boots and carrying a huge sack of wrapped presents. Charlie and Vasco watched from the floor as the eager Father Christmas showed Granny Joon the items of food she had prepared for the whole family, before Joon hastily lit the fire, her hands trembling. The three children raced through the house, shrieking with delight.
‘Alexandra Ignatieva,’ Joon whispered to herself, her eyes wide, as she sorted through the food packages, ‘in my house, on Christmas Day …’
Alexandra’s face shone with happiness as she watched the children playing with their new toys. Once they had run off back into the street, she removed her white beard. ‘Merry Christmas, you two idiots,’ she said, diving into the space in between Charlie and Vasco with a laugh, and giving each of them a one-armed hug.
‘Thank you for doing this,’ Charlie said, with a bemused smile. ‘It’s made their year.’
‘I’ve been thinking about a lot of things over these last few days,’ Alexandra said, growing serious. ‘I’ve decided – I want to do more to help the people living in this city.’ She met Charlie’s eyes, a look of determination settling on her face. ‘I know there’s a lot of work to be done, but I want to start making things better – for everyone.’
‘That’s a good ambition,’ Charlie said, deciding it was best to keep any other thoughts he had to himself.
‘Will you stay too, miss?’ Joon asked, appearing on the threshold. ‘You’d be very welcome.’
Alexandra smiled brightly and stood up, fixing her beard back on. ‘Thank you, but this is only a flying visit. I still have a lot of other chimneys to drop down before I’m done. Besides, I’m spending Christmas at my father’s house with my family.’ She threw Vasco a pointed look as she finished speaking, and Charlie did not miss the troubled expression that crossed Vasco’s face at her words.
‘Well, you’ve certainly brightened up the day for all of us living here,’ Joon said, touching her faded handkerchief to her eyes as she gazed out at the children playing together on the street with their new toys. ‘They won’t ever forget it. Your father raised you well.’
Alexandra left soon afterwards, saying that she was in a rush because she needed to factor in enough time to go home, get changed, and travel to her father’s house before any of the other guests arrived, and she still had to deliver all the presents and food she had prepared first. When she was gone, Vasco took Charlie’s hand and led him back into the room.
‘Let’s sit by the fire,’ Vasco said, raking his fingers through his hair. ‘I know we need to talk some things through, I just don’t know where I’m supposed to start.’ He lapsed into silence.
‘Thank you for coming here with me,’ Charlie said, staring into the fire as the tips of their fingers touched. ‘I don’t think I would have been able to do it alone.’
Vasco nodded briefly. ‘I’m glad you can be with your family at Christmas.’
‘I thought they would see me differently … when they knew …’
Vasco shook his head and scowled. ‘They love you. Nothing could ever change that.’
Charlie sighed, and stared up at the holes in the ceiling. ‘I wish it could be like this, always.’
Beside him, Vasco was very still. ‘It will be, someday.’
That evening, the snow fell harder than ever before, and it was not long before there was a blanket of white carpeting the ground. Having spent much of the day dozing together by the fire, waking up to talk a little more or simply to sit in an easy silence together, Charlie and Vasco went out into the street.
There was a tight knot in Charlie’s stomach. He knew that the dream was about to come to an end. Their breath rose before them in a mist as they stared up into the cloudless night sky, the black velvet canvas studded with glittering silver stars.
‘It’s so peaceful out here,’ Charlie said softly, shivering a little in the frosty air. ‘I never noticed before, but everything looks so beautiful when it’s covered in snow. Don’t you think?’
Vasco, who had been watching him as he spoke, put one arm around Charlie’s waist and pulled him in for a hug. As Charlie rested his head against Vasco’s shoulder, he felt Vasco’s lips brush his forehead in a brief kiss. A shy smile lighting up his face, Charlie held out his hand and caught a snowflake.
‘This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had,’ he said. He realised, as his eyes traced the path of a shooting star far above their heads, that what he was feeling right now was called happiness.
‘Make a wish, Charlie,’ Vasco said, his eyes on the same star, a gentle sadness in his words.
With his eyes closed, and Vasco at his side, the silence of the night enveloping them like an embrace, Charlie made his wish. Turning to Vasco, he opened his mouth to speak, but the words died on his lips at the touch of Vasco’s fingertips against his cheek.
‘Don’t tell me what you wished for, or it won’t come true,’ he said, a sombre look in his eyes as he put his hands back in his coat pockets and stared up at the stars. ‘I shouldn’t have stayed here so late. My absence won’t go unnoticed by the mayor.’ He sighed deeply and rubbed his shadowed eyes, looking suddenly exhausted. ‘You can guarantee that Christmas at Alexandra’s father’s house will always be … eventful.’
‘Do you have to leave?’ Charlie asked in a small voice.
‘I have responsibilities too.’ Vasco’s smile was edged with gloom as he began to walk away. ‘You know how it is.’
Charlie took a step forward before he faltered. ‘Will I see you again?’
‘Well,’ Vasco murmured, looking over his shoulder, ‘what are your plans for New Year’s?’
Charlie’s heart sank at his words, and he had to fight to stop tears springing to his eyes. ‘I expect I’m probably going to be pretty busy, aren’t I?’ he said bitterly, knowing for sure now that the dream was over. ‘Maybe we should just say goodbye,’ he continued. ‘You know that nothing can happen between us. We’re from two different worlds.’
Vasco shrugged, and looked up, his breath rising in the night air. ‘You never know. Maybe there’s some magic in that star we both wished on.’
Staring up at the sky, Charlie blinked back his tears. ‘I hope that’s true …’
‘Next year will be better, you’ll see,’ Vasco said. ‘Trust me, this isn’t goodbye.’
‘So what should we say instead, then?’ Charlie demanded, dragging the back of his arm across his eyes as anger burnt through his grief. ‘What d’you want me to say to you? I can’t promise you anything.’
‘You don’t need to,’ Vasco said. ‘For now, let’s just say Merry Christmas.’
‘Are you serious? Merry Christmas? Don’t you –’
It was only when Charlie glanced up in his exasperation that he realised Vasco had come to stand directly in front of him again. His hair was blowing about in the cold night wind as he put his arms around Charlie’s back and drew him close against his chest.
Stunned, Charlie placed his arms around Vasco’s waist and allowed himself to be held. With a deep breath, he tilted his head up, and Vasco’s lips were there, warm and soft, to meet his. When they broke apart, the smile on Vasco’s face was enough to melt Charlie’s heart.
‘Does this mean –?’ Charlie was trembling, hardly daring to believe it. ‘You and – and me?’
Vasco let out a soft laugh and brushed his hand through Charlie’s hair. ‘That’s right, you and me,’ he said, with more tenderness than Charlie had ever heard anyone speak to him before in his life. ‘Merry Christmas, Charlie.’
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