DANGEROUS ELYSIUM

PART SIX

SHARNA

I cursed at myself then I cursed at the damn hole in my bedroom door, it wasn't my doors fault I was in agony, it was mine. I punched the damn thing when I stormed through into my bedroom and the door swung back at me, so I quickly punched it for getting in my way. I was full of frustration and anger at myself for how upset I made Oliver. I didn't think. I couldn't think around him. He just saw me as a self righteous liar, a spoiled brat. And he's right, but with him I couldn't be any of that. Yet it was who he saw and I guess he would. He'd been conditioned over the years by yours truly to see a lying asshole who sat on his high horse. A manipulative creature who always got his way with anyone around him. All I needed to do now was make him see I mean what I say….but then I didn't really say anything, not anything he wanted to hear anyway. He didn't need to be wined and dined, he needed more than that, more than I've ever offered anyone. Yet I treat him like I would any other random person I wanted for kicks. It was wrong, so wrong. I went about it all wrong. I was beyond ashamed of my behavior. But it hadn't been particularly surprising either. "....fuck you door…."

"Wow!" My eyes snapped up at Morgan's voice. "Why did you punch your door?"

"It got in my way. What do you want?"

"I see it's not going well….with him." Morgan said. I could practically hear the distaste in his voice.

"Not really. I told you already it wouldn't."

He leaned against my door frame grinning, then my eyes slipped down his face to his throat. What I would give to wrap my hands around that throat and squeeze….then I stopped mid thought when I noticed a shiny new love bite. "Who did that?"

"Did what?"

"Don't act ignorant. Who gave you that?" I pointed to his neck.

He grinned again and ran his fingertips over the bright red blotch. "No one in particular."

I snorted in response. "Funny."

"It is actually and I don't mean this," he pointed to his neck. "I mean you. Mr. Can get whatever he wants isn't getting what he wants."

"Fuck you Morgan," I breathed. "It was all your idea."

"Yeah. But look at you, ain'tcha a tiny bit embarrassed?"

I step forward. Usually I wouldn't, usually I'd let him think his words and actions make me yield, but not today. Today I am pissed. Not at Oliver, but myself and Morgan included. "If anything I'm just tired. Tired of all these games, tired of breathing."

"I can stop you from breathing if you want?" It wasn't so much a threat, but it was the truth. Morgan could make that happen. He could make anything he wanted happen.

"Fuck this."

"Seems to me you're losing that….winning streak. I can comfort you."

"I'm sure you can, but by the looks of it you've been comforting someone else."

"Obviously," then he stepped forwards. "But you're the only one who lives in my heart, Sharna. This is just temporary…." He rubbed his neck. "Your permanent. I love only you. Always have, always will." His hand left his neck and twisted in my t-shirt, pulling me against him.

"Love? Do you even know how that really feels?"

"Uh huh," he whispered at my lips. "I love you," he said again. "So much." His words made me want to touch him and assure him that anything he said to me would be okay. But that would be a lie. My body wanted that, my heart didn't. I could lie all day to this man, whispering everything he wanted to hear, but my heart would silently be screaming the truth, that it's never belonged to him, it will never belong to him.

Instead I just slammed my mouth down on his. He gasped in surprise, but I gave him no time to consider what I was doing. I plunged my tongue into his mouth as I walked him backward until he hit the wall and held him in place. I grabbed his hip to keep him from moving, but when he did shift his body, it wasn't to get away. He let out this little cry into my mouth, and then his arms were around my neck and he was kissing me back. I quickly came up for air as my hands gripped his ass. "Let me have your ass for once." I said against his mouth.

"The only ass you can ever have is Oliver's and you can't even get that. So why would I give you mine?"

I clenched my jaw and the muscles in my cheeks ticked like crazy. His words fucking stung. They hit their mark, right down its center and I stepped back. "Thought you loved me?"

"I do, but my ass will never be yours, you know that. I give it to you, it's the way it is Sharna and by the looks of it you'll be coming with me when we graduate and I'll give it to you for the rest of your life."

"....I'm going out."

"Shame. I was hoping to get my dick wet."

"Go get it wet then, by whoever gave you that nasty shit on your neck."

"Sure." I shook my head and stormed passed him out of my room. I needed to put as much distance between me and Morgan as I possibly could. The other side of the world would be nice. I'd do that. Sneak away in the dark of night and never look back. Fuck them all, they can all go to hell.

I grabbed my keys and wallet from the unit by the door and left. I needed to drive, I didn't care where I ended up but I just needed to go. So I slammed my foot on the gas and hightailed it away from the house. The loud engine drowned out my thoughts and I sighed. Then I thought about a place me and Oliver would go to sometimes as kids. I've not been back there since he first left, it was too painful but I needed to go now. I needed to think or just scream. Then I laughed, because we used to do that. We'd get on our bikes and ride far from the city to a trail that ran through some woods we'd come across one day. Then we went there a lot. To think, to talk or sometimes we didn't say anything for long minutes and sometimes we'd lay in the tall grass and just sleep for a bit. So I sped through the city, stupidly running a couple of red lights that I'm going to get tickets for until I hit the back roads and just kept on. After about forty minutes I finally found what I was looking for and drove up the tight dirt gravel path and parked up my car. I needed to walk the rest of the way so I stepped out and I started walking and took in my surroundings more carefully. "Fuck." I thought and looked up. There was definitely a storm that was brewing above my head, but I wasn't going to let that deter me in anyway.

By the time I found what appeared to be a large outcropping of rocks near a small open bit of land, the rain had started. It all seemed familiar, yet also so unfamiliar. It had grown out and changed over the years, but I still felt the same comforting feeling just being here, well in my heart anyway. The rain had long since seeped through my clothing and the resulting chill started to feel like it was penetrating my very bones. The wind had also picked up in between the lightning and the thunder, so the rain felt like ice hitting my face and my eyes and ears started to hurt. This was a very bad idea, but I kept on until I found myself at the very spot we used to come too. You could see everything. Like you were standing on top of the world. Then I jumped into defense mode when I'd heard rustling a few feet from me. I rubbed my arm across my face to get rid of the rain dripping into my eyes to see Oliver. Looking at me. "...Sharna?" Then he spoke again. "Why….oh my god." it sounded like his mouth was right next to my ear. Or maybe he was just yelling, I wasn't sure. But I did register how afraid he sounded. He never liked storms, they scared him half to death and as kids I found it funny and so damn cute.

"Oliver," I managed to get out, but it came out on a guttural whisper and didn't sound like the demand I'd intended it to be. "Why are you here?" Then a flash followed by cracking thunder had him jumping and running straight at me. So I opened my arms and hugged him tightly against me. He was shivering and I knew I had to get him out of the rain and the loud crashing that almost shook the ground. "Let's get to my car." He nodded against my chest and I held him for a few more seconds before pulling away and grabbing his hand. He murmured something in response, something that sounded a lot like my name again, and then dear God, his fingers laced with mine and suddenly I had all the strength in the world and was rushing us back through shrub and slippery mud towards my car. I almost slipped on my ass a couple of times but I held it together enough to finally get us safely to my car. "Get in quick!" I shouted over more loud thunder.

"What….what are you doing here?" He asked in the close confines of my car. He was still shivering, so I leaned back and grabbed a hoodie I'd left on my backseat and gave it to him.

"Put it on, your freezing."

"Thanks," he mumbled and struggled to get it over his head. "....fuck…"

"Let me help," I pulled at it so his head popped out and then I helped get his arms in the sleeves, finally we did and I couldn't stop smiling. "I'll get the heat on in the car. Okay?"

"Sharna," he whispered. But it wasn't as soft as it should have been. "I...I'm not okay."

I didn't like this side of him at all. This quiet, confusing side. He wasn't exactly nervous or awkward, but he wasn't angry either. He didn’t look like he was ready to start screaming more accusations at me and he didn’t seem like he would take off running if I even looked at him wrong. He just seemed… broken. I didn't like Oliver looking broken. God only knows how many times I've made him feel that way and every single time I hated it. "What's going on Oliver? Talk to me, please just talk to me," He nodded a little, but it wasn't really an answer. "Right, let's get out of here and somewhere warm and more comfortable…."

"No!" I jumped as shear panic shot through his dark eyes. "Not back there, anywhere but there…."

"Where? The city?"

"Yes. Please don't take me back there Sharna."

"Okay. I won't."

"Promise."

"I promise. There's a small bed and breakfast just up the road. We'll go there."

He slumped back in the seat and wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes briefly, then they shot open again and focused on me. "Now." He demanded and I couldn't disobey him anymore than I couldn't ignore my thumping heart. So I nodded, put the car in drive and sped down the dirt path and onto the slick road. The rain was still heavy, pelting the windshield making it hard to see. So I slowed a little, I wasn't going speed through these roads and put him in danger.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked, although I knew he really wasn't.

He shook his head adamantly. "I do feel better." He looked like death warmed over. He was pale and soaked. But I knew his behavior wasn't because of the storm or the rain or even me, there was something else. Or someone that has done something to get this kind of response. He looked….terrified. Broken and terrified. I was going to get to the bottom of it no matter what. "You probably think I'm pretty pathetic, huh?" He said with a laugh that held no humor whatsoever. "I've always hated storms." He added.

"I know," I said quietly. "I know." And he finally settled, letting me concentrate on getting us to the bed and breakfast safely.