DANGEROUS ELYSIUM

PART EIGHT

SHARNA

As soon as I opened my eyes I found myself staring at a plain white ceiling. I blinked a couple of times trying to register my brain. You know those first few seconds when you forget you're not in your bed. Then I sat up and saw Oliver sitting in a brown bucket chair by the window of our room, in my hoodie again. Then suddenly I dreaded the "morning after" talk. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't sure what it would be. That we carry on pretending or we actually give it ago, the only downside to giving it ago would be that we would have to keep it a secret, for a while. "Coffee is hot," Oliver said, but not moving an inch. "The woman downstairs is really nice and gave me a whole pot and milk too." Still he didn't move, he just sat looking out the window at the persistent heavy rainfall.

"Erm…."

"Yes there's packets of sugar," What. The Fuck? Could he read my damn mind. "And your clothes are folded on the other chair."

"Right, cool…" Oh good god! Did I just say cool? What am I ten? Fuck! So I moved from the bed and went straight to my clothes and pulled my jeans on not bothering to zip them up yet and chucked on my t-shirt, then grabbed the chair and pulled it to where Oliver sat in his. "Mind if I sit with you?"

He looked at me oddly over his coffee mug. "If I said no, you would anyway right?"

"Right."

Then he let out a small laugh and turned his attention back to the window. "Weather is still really bad and I've missed classes."

"Oh, shit. What's the time?"

"Dunno. My phone is in your car."

"Mine too," I quickly glanced around the room and saw a small digital clock. "It's eleven thirty. Did you not notice?"

"Not really to be honest. I woke up when the door knocked and housekeeping had our clothes, then I chucked on my jeans and your hoodie and went downstairs to get coffee then came back up and I've sat here since then."

"Wow," Okay so the thought he had nothing on under my hoodie was just….perfect and seriously. This guy always goes by the clock. "That was a lot of information."

"I bet people are worried about you. You should go."

"And leave you?"

"Yeah. I'll get back."

"Nope, not gonna happen. Anyway, pour me some coffee." He nodded and stayed silent as he did, but I couldn't keep still. "Last night?" I asked, well it wasn't so much a question but a reason to talk about it and what's next. Yet he didn't seem to want to. I guess I thought I'd given him what he wanted, but in the light of day, I was having serious doubts. Especially since he was quieter than I would've expected. I'd also expected him to bring it up, but now that he wasn't saying a word about it, I began to panic. What if I’d read something wrong? What if somewhere along the way he’d wanted me to stop and I hadn't heard him? As his silence lingered and he just stared out the window, I became more and more agitated. He was right there, yet he was so far out of my reach. It angered and frustrated me.

"....who are you Sharna?" He asked and still didn't look at me.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed heavily, then….finally looked my way. "Who are you?"

"I don't understand the question Oliver."

He stared at me for a moment before turning away again. My head was a mess of thoughts and my heart was beating like crazy. What does he want me to say? "All these years," he started to say, then took another mouthful of his coffee. "Not including Morgan, who are you?"

"Alright," I muttered and scooted closer. "I'm a loser who craves his father's approval like a dog craves table scraps. I bury my head in the sand and convince myself on a daily basis that I've done everything right and that it’s just a matter of time before I actually start to feel like a someone, instead of just looking like one. Is that good enough?"

"Why do you feel like you need your father's approval?"

"Because I'm his son and Morgan isn't, yet he gives him all the attention like I'm a ghost."

"I see."

"What about you?" Then I thought why? Why did I ask? I know who Oliver is. He's the sweetest kindest person I've ever known and he's never acted any different. He never has to, but he's been a ghost too.

"There's nothing about me, not anymore."

"There is….I mean, you're you. Oliver, my Oliver…."

"I've never been your Oliver. It was only ever a pipe dream Sharna. But you're right."

"About what?"

"When you asked all those years ago about me leaving and that I should have just stayed. And I would've stayed here if things had been different when we were kids. You were the only one who ever made it okay for me to be someone who could spend hours working through math problems just for fun. I wanted to go swimming in the lake with you and your friends and I wanted to know what it was like to kiss a boy and not have anyone care. That's my answer. I would have told you all that if you didn't push me away."

"We have now, though."

He huffed and a small smile crept up on his lips, yet it wasn't a happy smile. It wasn't a smile I so badly wanted to see. "We don't have now either. I just want to get uni over and done with without being threatened and I want to leave. That's what I want, Sharna. To be left alone and have no worries. I want to go back to being invisible. It's better that way."

"Being invisible is better?"

"Yes. It's better. That's how I like it."

"But I don't want that."

"It's not about what you want, Sharna. Years ago it would have been, because I wanted to give you what you wanted, but not anymore. We are no longer those kids. We are semi adults who are more confused now than we've ever been and confusion just adds to our already growing problems. Problems I do not need. End of."

"End of?"

"Yes, end of." And he got up and slowly slipped my hoodie away from his body. I watched the action in almost slow motion, licking my dry lips. Wishing I was licking his skin, tasting the sweet and saltiness that was there. Then he grabbed his top and put it on. I shook my head because it was all coming to an end and I didn't want it to. "I'm leaving, I suggest you do the same before others start asking questions. I can get back on my own. I just need my phone from your car." And with that, he began to walk away again. The sight of his back set something off inside of me. I took a few big strides to catch up with him and grabbed his arm. I yanked him backward and turned him so he slammed into my chest. "Sharna..." he began to say in confusion, but when I settled my mouth over his, he moaned. There was absolutely no resistance as he hungrily kissed me back. Something inside of me shifted once again and that agitation I'd been feeling was quickly replaced with a sense of victory. Not that I’d bested him in any kind of way, but that he still wanted this…me. That he was as desperate for my mouth as I was for his. I clasped his face so I could hold his head as I kissed him in every way I wanted. He surrendered to my will and let me control the kiss. His hands moved to my back and slipped beneath my t-shirt. The feel of his long, firm fingers pressing into my skin was heaven.

I released Oliver's mouth long enough to press kisses down the column of his neck. I didn't miss the sight of the faint kiss marks on his throat. When I reached the marks I’d left on him with my teeth, my cock jerked hungrily in my pants. His fingers dipped beneath the waistband of my jeans as I examined the red marks on his neck. "Does this hurt?" I asked as I nuzzled the area.

"No…." He said on a breathy moan as his hands settled on my hips. "I couldn't stop staring at them in the mirror last night," he whispered. His words jerked me to attention and I pulled back so I could look him in the eye.

"What?" I asked.

He blushed prettily. "Nothing," he murmured. "Forget I said that." He went to kiss me, but I grabbed him gently by the throat. I walked him backward until he had a wall behind him. The man was pressing all the right buttons inside of me and he had no fucking clue.

He moaned when I held him against the wall. "Say that again," I demanded. He seemed to know what I was talking about. His pupils were blown and he was panting heavily. His hands had moved up my back again, but he was doing nothing more than hanging on to me at that point. I sensed it was a defining moment between us. "Oliver…"

"Forget it, please."

"I can't. I won't."

"You...you have to."

I knew this moment wasn't going to go any further. But I just couldn't let him walk away from me as if nothing happened at all. "I won't give up Oliver. I hope you know that."

"I do. But the more you try the further away I'll get. Life is cruel, Sharna and we don't always get what we want. I'm sorry."

"I don't accept that apology." I whispered against his ear.

"Me too," He breathed. His body was heaving and shaking and sexy little whimpers kept bubbling up from his throat. I'd never been with someone who was so responsive before. It was like my touch sent him up in flames. Jesus, even just the right words said in the right way seemed to send him to that edge. "But...please, please, stop." He begged.

He sounded like he was on the verge of crying. He sounded so desperate I couldn't help but press a gentle kiss to his lips and say, "I've got you, baby. Going to take care of you."

"I….wish…," he choked. "I wish...it could be true. But wishes aren't real, like this…"

"Don't say it. I'm begging you Oliver don't say it."

His eyes fissured and leaked over his pink cheeks. "....let's leave….I need to get back." I sighed with relief when he didn't say the words, but my heart still broke into million tiny pieces for the man I love.

DANGEROUS ELYSIUM

I reluctantly dropped Oliver off at a bus stop far from any eyes and I left him standing under the shelter. It felt like I was never going to see him again. I hated it, so much. Now I was back home, sitting in my car in the driveway of my house. I call it a house because it doesn't feel like a home. Once upon a time it did, I guess. But not anymore. Then I spotted Morgan and his mother leaving the house. I sat for a bit longer while they chatted by her car and finally she got in it, but not before spotting me and giving me one of those wicked turned up smiles. God I hate her. Then my stomach dropped when Morgan started walking towards me. I wound down my window instead of getting out, just in case I wanted to drive my ass back out again. "Sharna. Where did you spend the night?"

"Nowhere in particular."

"You coming in?"

"Are you going to hound me?"

"No, not today," He grinned. Something wasn't right. This situation was….odd. He was somewhat being reserved and Morgan is never reserved. What's he up to? "You hungry?"

"I guess," I was fucking starving. I hadn't eaten anything yesterday and it was hitting the afternoon and I still hadn't eaten anything. "What did your mom want?" I asked, getting out of the car.

"Nothing much. Oh, your dad and my mom are off on a business trip for a few days."

"No one told me."

"Oh...that's strange." Fucking idiot. They never tell me anything. I'm always the last to know when it comes to anything involving my dad. It was most likely Morgan's mom's doing.

"What business?"

"Dunno, don't care," He replied. Of course he doesn't give a shit. Why would he? It's not like he needed his mommy for anything. He had a fat bank account that she kept topped up, there was nothing else he needed. "I saw Raine." He added, as we made our way into the house.

"And? So what?"

"Apparently that little freak was spooked when Raine asked him for…." Then he stopped.

Suddenly it left me shaking and something inside of me burst open…like a wound that had been lanced and finally allowed to bleed out all over the place and I felt cold inside. "What!?" I asked loud enough he stopped and spun around to face me.

"Oh….you look horrified," he smirked. "Why?"

"What did he do?"

"What Raine?"

"Yes Raine," then I thought a little harder about it. "Why are you talking to Raine?" Suddenly the dots started to merge.

"Funny…"

"Its not fucking funny Morgan!"

"It is funny. Funny because that little drip has no idea I've always been friends with Raine. Why do you think I know everything about Oliver. He tells Raine everything and Raine tells me. There are no secrets Sharna. You're the only one who's so damn oblivious….no, you and Oliver."

"What did Raine do?" I demanded.

"Nothing really."

Holy fuck! That's why Oliver was in the rain. That's why he was running. That's why he looked so terrified. Raine did something to him and it was most likely Morgan told him to. To give Oliver that push. But he didn't just push, he shoved him off a fucking cliff and he was barely holding on. "I'm going…."

"Why? You've only just got back."

"Fuck you…." I was seething.

"Never gonna happen." I had to hold my arm down so I didn't punch Morgan right in his smug face. God I wanted to punch him, over and over and over again until he couldn't move or stop breathing, but that would only upturn my whole life more than it already had been. I'd been thrown straight into prison without even getting a trial and then Oliver would be at their mercy, no matter where he goes or how far. They'd rain down hate and violence on his life until they either kill him or he takes his own life. I couldn't let that happen. Ever.

"I need to go to uni…."

"In yesterday's clothes?"

"I don't care about that. If they call my dad he'll kick my ass. So I'm going, be back later," Or not. I had my credit card. I didn't need to ever come back. I'd go to the bank and get every penny I have out so if my dad cuts me off I wouldn't need to worry and then I'd go get Oliver and I'd take him away from this place. I'd pay for him to go to another school. I'd keep him with me so they can never hurt him again. "See you later."

Morgan smiled and then laughed, like it was the most pathetic thing he'd ever heard. "Have fun." I closed my eyes and turned away from him. The urge to hurt him was so strong. Then I silently berated myself when I realized how wrong I’d been. About everything. It wasn't just a game to Morgan. He really did want Oliver gone, completely and if I don't do something quickly he may just get what he wants. I’d found a much bigger threat than I ever could've imagined. And I was the one who’d brought it into our lives, so I was the one who needed to figure out how to fix it. Fast.