Later that evening, Robin was still hanging around. Dad had gone home to get Bella and Jack so they could come see me, and Mrs Smith left hours before that. Robin was staying fairly quiet, which just made things awkward.
“You really think staying home is a good idea?” Robin suddenly blurted out.
“Yes.” I stated. “I’ll be fine.”
“Diane, I know what you’re doing. You’re going to find any loopholes you can in the deal you made, and find a way to keep going downhill.” Robin said. “What are you going to do when your weight drops too low? Where do you go from there?”
“I’ll worry about it when I get there.” I said. “Which won’t be anytime soon, of course.”
“I’m really worried about you.” I heard Robin’s voice start cracking, and I looked over at her. She had tears in her eyes, and I could tell she was trying hard not to fall apart. Something about seeing that made me reconsider my choices. But of course, Diana quickly cut that down.
“I’m sorry.” I said quietly. “I don’t mean to worry you.”
“I know…” Robin tried to smile, but it was a smile that clearly showed she was on the verge of crying. “I know you think you’re doing something good for your body, and you’re not sick… I’ve done my research on the illness. I just wish you could see what we see.”
At that moment, I felt the real me break through a bit. I had lost her in all the craziness of Diana’s words and demands. It was rare to see who I really was anymore, which just led to me thinking I was nothing without Diana. But the real me knew I had to do something to please Robin. She didn’t deserve to be put through this.
“How… How about we get something to eat together sometime?” I asked quietly. I knew I would freak out over it when it actually happened, but if it made her happy and a little more hopeful in me, I was willing to at least try. The last thing I wanted was for Robin to go through a bad time because of me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!?!
“Really?” Robin looked shocked. “No tricks? You really want to?”
“I never said I wanted to. But I’ll do it if that would make you happier.”
“Alright.” Robin smiled a bit before going back to frowning again. “Is it possible you could make a promise with me?”
“Depends.”
“Promise to actually try. Just one meal with me isn’t going to save you. I want you to at promise to try at all your meals.”
“Uh…. “
Of course not. I don’t care how much you want to make her happier. Don’t promise that girl anything. It’s bad enough you said you’d eat out with her.
“Please?” Robin pleaded. This obviously meant a lot to her. “I want you to be safe. Even if it just means maintaining your weight at this point. That’s still something.”
Aha. The loophole. Perfect. I didn’t plan on going lower than 75, so after losing a couple more pounds, I could start to maintain, and bam! She’d think I was trying, and all would be ok. Perfect.
“Fine.” I said. “I promise.”
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PIG!!
Robin’s face lit up, but it wasn’t hard to tell she still doubted me. Oh man was it ever going to be nice to have the best of both worlds though. Being at my goal weight, and maintaining it so Robin wouldn't worry.
Minutes later, my siblings arrived. Bella looked extremely worried and Jack looked almost exactly the same. It was rare to see Jack so worried. He usually had a broad grin on his face, and cracked a joke at every opportunity. But this time, he remained quiet. Meanwhile, Dad was in the background looking more tired and exhausted than usual.
I was questioned by my siblings, and both Robin and I answered everything. Robin seemed keenon making sure they knew the truth about everything, so when she caught me in a lie, she butted in to tell the truth. Classic Robin. Everyone stayed for a couple hours. During those hours, my family, Robin and I chatted. At around 7, Dad went out and got us all dinner because I refused to touch the hospital mash, and everyone was starving. I ended up getting a sandwich from Tim’s, which I just forced down to keep everyone at peace. After dinner, I started getting really tired. A lot had happened in one day, and I was ready to just sleep. Preferably in my own bed, but a hospital bed was fine too i guess.
“Guys, I’m getting tired.” I said with a yawn. “I think I’m calling it a night.”
“Yea, it is getting late.” Dad sighed. “You going to be ok being on your own for the night?”
“Yea.” I said. “I’ll probably sleep right up until you pick me up tomorrow anyways.”
“She’s gotta get her precious beauty sleep.” Jack laughed.
“When are you coming to pick me up tomorrow anyways?” I asked.
“Around noon.” He replied. “I have to get some work done in the morning, but I should be down here by 1 at least. Just do try to cooperate with the nurses while you’re here, ok?”
“Yea, yea.” I said. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Night.”
Everyone gave me a hug goodnight, and headed home. Dad drove Robin home since she was our neighbor, so it wasn’t out of the way for him. It took me a while to adjust to the settings around me so I could sleep. I could constantly hear people talking in the hallways, and the occasional janitor rolling his supplies down the hallways. It also didn’t help it wasn’t too dark in the room either. Lights from active areas shone into my room, lighting things up a bit. Despite this, I fell asleep relatively quickly.
The next afternoon I was discharged. Dad got me right in time too. The nurse was about to try and force lunch on me, but thankfully dad saved me from that situation.
"Alright, you ready to go?" He asked as he helped me sit up. I nodded, and stood up. My vision immediately went black and I fell back onto the bed. I was only out for a couple seconds, but when I came to, Dad was still just standing there. I looked at him a bit confused. It took me a bit to realize I had passed out. No idea why I would’ve. I felt fine. Dad had a saddened expression on his face. It was like he didn't even know what to do with me, and seeing me like this was only hurting him more.
"Ngh… uh, could you grab a wheelchair? Or something?" I groaned. I hated admitting I needed one, but even I knew I wasn't going to make it back to the car. "I'm not going to make it the whole way without passing out."
Dad sighed, and then left to get one. He was staying pretty quiet during all of this, which was starting to freak me out. Normally he would've scolded at me or something by now.
Dad came back a minute later with a wheelchair. He helped me into it, and then we headed out to the car. The whole time he stayed quiet. I tried to crack a small joke here and there to lift his mood, but I got nothing. Defeated, I sunk back in my car seat. Hopefully he lightened up soon, because the silence was making me feel awful. I couldn't help feeling like I was this awful daughter who only wants to hurt others by starving herself and fighting.
That's because you are an awful daughter. Hence why you deserve to starve.
When we got home, Dad had to practically carry me to my room. I kept passing out every time I tried to stand, so he had no other choice. He carried me to my room, and placed me into bed.
“Alright. I think it’s obvious you need fuel.” Dad sighed. “What do you want?”
“Uh…” I was trying to decide on something that was low calorie, but still reasonable. “Oatmeal?”
“Just oatmeal?” Dad questioned. “Nothing in it? Or on it?”
“Uh, no?” I said quietly. Oatmeal tasted fine on its own. What was the issue?
“I want you to put something with it. Even just putting sugar in it would be acceptable.”
“Ugh, fine. Blueberries.”
“Thank you.” Dad went off and made the oatmeal. It was a bit more than I thought he’d make, but he let me get away with only eating half. That wasn’t too bad. I could live with that. Just as long as he didn’t push too much onto me, I’d be all set to continue my plan.
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