Azophi shuffled back over and plopped down into the booth. The waitress had cleared their table, so there was nothing to stare at instead of Hau and Makani’s waiting faces and nothing to put in their mouths other than the words they were already tumbling around in there.

“Well?” Makani prompted after a too long silence. “What happened?”

“ I…” Azophi started and stopped. “I hecked up. I hecked up so bad.”

“Oh?” said Hau confusedly.

Fuck shit they better just say it. “She wants to go out sometime.”

“She WHAT?!” Hau yelped, voice rising precipitously.

“This isn’t my fault! You could have stopped me!”

“Me? What was I supposed to do? Shout across the bar, ‘No, stop! Don’t seduce my future wife!’”

“Maybe,” Azophi grumbled. They would have liked to know it was that fucking important to him before they went over! But that Rapidash had long since left the stables. It was time for damage control. “But I’ll fix this, I promise! I’ll turn her down, and that’ll be the end.”

“NO!” Hau wailed even louder.

Azophi sat back in their seat and blinked at him. They glanced over at Makani for guidance, but he was hunched over staring at the table with his temples in his hands like he had a headache. Honestly, mood. Seemed they had to puzzle this out themselves.

“So… you want me to go out with her?”

“No, but if you turn her down she’ll be crushed! She doesn’t need that right now.”

Well, that was actually rather sweet, but it didn’t help Azophi’s predicament in the slightest. “What do you want me to do?”

Hau groaned into his hands. “Shit, I don’t know!”

Makani was sitting back up now, but he only offered Azophi a shrug, biting his lip.

This was a disaster, and they didn’t have time to sort it out before she—

“Hau! Makani! I didn’t know you were out tonight!”

“Yeah.” Hau sounded hollow, almost horse. “We, uh, we just got here.”

“Azophi and I finally met! Isn’t that great?” There was strain in the cheerfulness, but she did just put herself out there. Nervous or no, she had guts.

Makani flashed her and Azophi and reassuring grin. “Yeah. We didn’t know you were coming.”

“Oh, it was a last minute thing, and I didn’t want to bother you,” she explained with a wave. “Prof. Burnet came over for dinner, and then it seemed best to leave them alone for a bit.” Her eyes drifted off into the middle distance.

Hau reached across the table towards her and tilted his head until he caught her eyes. ”You know you can always call me for that.”

Lillie smiled—shy and distant, but warm. “Thank you, Hau.” She put her hand in his and gave it a small squeeze before sliding into the booth next to him. “All’s well that ends well! We’re all gathered now!”

Makani, bless his soul, flagged down the waitress to cut short the awkward silence that followed. Since they were now pretending to have just arrived, they all felt obligated to order something. Hau asked for a lager and large order of fried pickles. Woof. Azophi decided they’d had enough to drink for the night and requested curly fries.

“All the fixings?”

Fixings? Was Alola one of those regions that slopped gravy and Arceus knew what else all over their fried potatoes?

“Yes please,” Makani answered for them, giving Azophi a reassuring nod. “You’ll like them.”

“So Azophi,” Lillie began tentatively. Oh boy. “I hope this isn’t too prying a question—” Oh no— “but do you, by any chance, have a Bounsweet on your team?”

That was sort of oddly specific, but not invasive. Then it clicked.

“Oh I wish!” No, we actually ran into this Betbeter—eh, Grim-er?—yeah, he lives behind this swanky bath store, right? And that’s what he eats: all the left over samples and damaged bars and whatnot, so he smells amazing! We’ve been getting lunch with him every day”

“That’s very unusual. I take it he’s quite affable for a wild pokemon, then?”

“Yeah, he’s a hoot!” This wasn’t hard. They could get through this fine. “he just does his own thing, you know? Doesn’t care what anyone thinks. You gotta respect it. And Dax says all the soap and lotion is what makes him so much more colorful than most. Just further proof that he’s living life right.”

“Runoff from hygiene products can be quite damaging to the environment. I’m glad to know that Recycler variants are able to break it down so well, since they were mostly developed to work on plastics.”

“The Grimer y’all have here are rad—all rainbow colors and toxic crystal teeth!—Not that I’m not a fan of poison-types. Them and dark-types are always getting a bad Wrap because of all the secondary effects, but that’s what makes them interesting.”

“Yes, there is a good deal of strategy to be explored there as I understand it.”

Azophi slapped the table. “Exactly! I’m gonna need both for my roster.”

Lillie cocked her head slightly, brow furrowing in confusion. “So, he didn’t agree to be on your team?” The dumb shock must have shone on Azophi’s face, because she rushed to amend herself. “I didn’t mean to presume! I only thought, since the two of you get along so well, and, as you say, you are fond of his typing, that you might have asked him to take the Island Challenge with you.” She tugged at a braid, shoulders hunching, and Azophi noticed that the one was a good deal looser than the other. “But I suppose you had some other reason not too.”

“The reason is I’m as sharp as a Slowpoke! These two were right.” They gestured at Hau and Makani. “You are a genius. I’m gonna ask him first thing tomorrow!”

That seemed to buoy her up, and she asked about their current team with a good deal more confidence. Azophi breezed past the whole starter thing and told her about the rest. Azophi’s description of Pimento being such a hog that she couldn’t get airborne for an hour after a meal made her snort. And she agreed with them about the free Munchlax being suspect—take that Hau! Then she was curious about the omamori on their bag and Azophi could go on about that for hours. The lecture was cut short—probably for the best—by the arrival of their food and drinks.

Azophi accepted their basket with relish, but a second glance gave them pause. Rather than the typical orangey seasoning, the contents appeared to have sesame seeds and familiar flakes of seaweed sprinkled over them.

“Is this… furikake? On fries?” The accompanying dip was reddish, but not ketchup.

“Yep!” Makani chirped. “Try the nanab sauce.”

Azophi did and it was amazing. The sauce would have been a delight on its own, but all three combined was a revelation. Why didn’t every region prepare them this way? “Alola knows what the fuck is up!”

“Too right,” Hau croaked, reaching across to dunk one of his pickle slices—horrifying. Lillie was going to notice something was off if he kept this up. But her eyes were on Azophi, watching hungrily as they stuffed another fry in their mouth. Oh. At least Hau had another moment to compose himself. They pushed the basket towards her.

“Have some.”

“Oh, there’s no need to—”

“Split it with me. I can’t eat it by myself and these are way too good to go to waste.”

She smiled. “In that case, I will do my upmost to assist.”

Lillie tried to disguise her delight at first, nibbling delicately in a way that suggested she’d never eaten junk food before in her life—poor girl—but her pace steadily increased until she was munching them just as casually as Azophi was. They took that as their cue to try asking a few more questions—get to know a little more about her.

They started with a gentle pitch: what was it like living with move-taking, shirt-decrying, master of puns himself? It took a little prodding, which Makani helped with, but she finally offered up a story not unlike Hau’s from earlier that had them laughing and her covering her mouth to hide a smirk. She asked about Azophi having to complete their degree during their Challenge, and they lobbed back a question about what she did in her free time. She admitted to playing tennis with one of Hau’s college friends and swimming in the ocean near Kukui’s lab.

“Not that I’m particularly skilled at either.”

“Now that I don’t believe.”

“You’re right,” Hau finally grunted. “Venus is team captain, and you hold your own.”

“And your strokes are perfect.” Makani added, taking yet another of Hau’s fried pickles. Azophi hasn’t managed to puzzle out why he kept eating them when his face twitched in disgust every time. “You’re a much faster swimmer than either of us.”

“Well—” Lillie began, but Azophi cut her off.

“Case closed! Unless you want to accuse these boys of perjury?”

“N-no.”

“Then you accept the facts as they stand: you’re great.”

Lillie flushed and bit at her lip. Then she jolted at a soft buzz emanating from her dress pocket. She pulled out her phone in lue of responding, which was fair enough. It seemed like the Kāhili’s had been working quite awhile just to get her this far.

“It’s Prof. Burnet,” she announced, then stood. “And it’s rather late. I should go.”

“Alright then,” said Azophi with a wave. “Goodnight.”

“See you tomorrow,” said Makani.

Hau resurfaced from his funk and met her eyes. “If you ever need to crash…”

“I know…” Lillie smiled fondly at him. “You’re too good to me.”

Hau smiled back, and how Lillie didn’t see the lovestruck Growlithe in it, Azophi didn’t know. She took a few steps towards the door before stopping in her tracks. When she turned back to them, her face was redder than ever, but she swallowed and didn’t falter.

“So, Azophi, what’s your answer?”

Shit. Azophi glanced at Hau, who looked as though his soul had flown to the Distortion World to scream into the abyss. They glanced at Makani, who looked vaguely sick to his stomach—probably from those fried pickles. They had to do this alone. They looked back at up at Lillie’s nervous but hopeful expression and the decision was made.

“Yes.”

“Really?” She clapped her hands over her mouth. How could she be so aghast? Surely someone like her had people after her all the time. She hurriedly lowered her hands and rallied. “I’m so glad! I’ll give you my number—or I suppose you could get it from Hau or Makani?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Goodnight!”

She practically skipped to the door, then turned back one final time to wink at Azophi before she was gone.

Azophi was almost afraid to look at Hau again. When they did, they found him slumped over the table with that tired, far-off look still in his eyes.

“Lord Giratina take me,” he mumbled behind his arm.

Azophi sucked a breath in through their teeth. “I’m really sorry.” Hau nodded. This was somehow better and worse than expected. What were they even supposed to say to this poor bastard? “I… guess we know now that she isn’t straight. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t asked you out?”

“She’s pan. She already told me.”

“Oh…” That’s it. That’s all they had. Fuck fuck fuck. “So, we’re still buddies, right?”

Hau sighed. “Yeah…” THANK MESPRIT. “It’s not like she hasn’t been interested in anyone else before. Just, not like this.” He groaned. “It was only a matter of time. I’m such an idiot.”

“I mean, yeah.”

Hau snapped up and glared at Azophi. “And you’re every bit as sweet and sensitive as Makani said you were.”

Right. “Sorry.”

All three of them just sat there in the booth for awhile, not looking at each other. There was no one else left in the restaurant portion. Only the bar still had patrons.

Makani was the one to break the silence. “How about we go home?”

At least Azophi’s parents would probably be asleep.