I sit outside at the school corner with my bag in my lap. I play with the fraying fabric, digging my nails into the rips on the bottom. I stare out into the almost empty parking lot, thinking back to Lianna and the conversation we had at lunch. I believe her about the English assignment, but I'm suspicious. She's too coy, too stuck up her own ass to simply want to work with me. There must be something she wants.
I sigh and lean my head on the top of my bag. The edge of my books dig into my chin, but I try my best to ignore the pain.
The last of the cars pull out. It seems like I’m the last one here. These were the times I wish we had the money to buy another car. Mom can barely afford the gas driving to and from school since she had to go out of her way to get to work. Dad walked to work. He was lucky enough to live only a few blocks away.
I need a job. Fear might be holding me back, but if I want to change anything I have to do this. I’m still stuck in my old ways. I still can’t believe I’m no longer a kid. Those days were far behind me and to leave every memory behind is too painful. It’s terrifying.
My thoughts are interrupted by a harsh cough. A shadow falls over me and I look up. Liza stands next to the bench I sit on. She crosses her arms once I meet her eyes. She glares down at me, her lips twisting to the side.
“How do you know her?”
I blink. “Lianna?”
She rolls her eyes. “Duh.”
The sunlight shines in my eyes. I take a shaky breath. The way she looks at me—it’s pure hate, anger, and disgust. I don’t quite understand, but I have just the inkling as to why she’s so angry. Lianna is the worst person to be around in the entire school. I’d gone and broke the one rule this town swore by.
“Well?” She shifts her feet and leans on her hip.
“I…” I swallow and try to find the words to explain the situation. “She wanted to be partners.”
She raises a brow. “For the English paper.”
“…yeah,” I say. My answer isn’t as firm as it was in my head.
She doesn’t look like the friend I use to have. She is withering away. The closer we come to graduation the further from out old lives we get. Lianna still holds an ounce of her personality. She’s the only one not changing. Somewhere along the way, I feel like I’m losing myself in the current. Liza is starting to look more like Lianna than Lianna herself.
I’m not sure what to make of that.
Liza sighs and sits beside me. I watch her set her bag on the ground. Her hair is pulled to the side. It isn’t exactly her style. I’ve seen Riley do the same before and I wonder if that is where she’s picked it up from.
I look away and bite the inside of my cheek. Neither of us say a thing for the next few minutes. Instead, we are swarmed with the sound of traffic and the loud yells of kids practicing in the gym next door. I open my mouth, but I can’t think of anything that won’t piss her off.
Before things went to shit, I wouldn’t hesitate to confide in Liza. I would have told every aching detail of what happened in the gym yesterday to Liza. I would have flat out told her my darkest secrets.
We are no long friends. Not the same friends we were before. I can see it now. When it comes to sharing secrets, it simply isn’t doable anymore.
“Look,” she says and turns to me, “I know you might be doing the right thing by being nice to her, but you’re wrong.”
I furrow my brows. “Does it look like I’m being nice to her?”
“Yes. You are.” She shakes her head, aspirated. “She’s not good to be around. She’s bad news and I thought you were the smart one out of the two of us.”
“Being a decent human being doesn’t have to be so complicated.”
“Well, it is, Maya.” She grabs her bag and stands up. “I’d like to help you get out of this mess, but Riley was right. You’re a lost cause.”
As if it had been planned, Riley pulls up in her blue bug. The passenger window rolls down.
“Need a ride?” She’s talking to Liza.
Liza’s face lights up. “That would be awesome. Thanks.”
She gets into the car. Just as she’s buckling in, Riley looks out and spots me sitting alone on the bench.
She gives a slight wave that is more a curling of her fingers. “How’s it going Maya?”
She doesn’t give me the chance to reply before Riley speeds off with my best friend.
***
“I’m home.” I slam the front door behind me and kick my shoes off at the door.
A rustle comes from the back of the house. I assume it’s Mom. I hang my bag on the coat hooks. Carrying it home had taken all my energy and I don’t have the will to carry it to my bedroom. My hand drifts over the top of my black bag. I feel defeated just looking at it and knowing I can’t do a simple task.
Cheer up.
Those are Liza’s words. Even when spoken in malice, I think about taking her advice. It isn’t easy to do it. I wish it was.
The back door opens and closes. I look up from my bag.
The one person I don’t expect to see is Lianna.
Her blond hair is pulled into a high ponytail. She’s wearing a black shredded t-shirt that shows more skin than it covers. Paired with the holy shirt are stained denim jeans. They're folded at the ankles to show off the anklet dangling above her Adidas sneakers.
She struts in carrying a medium box tucked under her arm. She stops in the middle of the hall. We gawk at each other.
“What are you—” We both say and then cut off.
I stumble over my next words. “What the hell are you doing here?”
She’s just as surprised as I am. “You live here?”
She’s here to harass me. There’s no other reason.
I grab Lianna by the arm and yank her towards the front door.
“Hey!” She pulls back and pushes me back roughly. He open palm smacks my shoulder.
Fatigue makes it hard for me to stand up right, but I manage to not fall on my face. I glare up at her.
“You can’t be here.”
She raises a brow. “You’re being awfully rude.”
“I’m being rude?” I give an exasperated breath and shake my head. I poke my finger into her chest. “Who’s the one following people home and breaking into their house?”
She knocks my hand away and rolls her eyes. “Calm your tits. I didn’t follow you.”
“Really?” I wait for her to give an explanation. Then, I notice the box she’s been holding this entire time.
Unbelievable.
I make a disgusted face and motion toward the box. “Are you seriously stealing from us too?”
It’s the one thing I don’t expect from her. Sure, she might be a slut, but I thought she had some morals.
Lianna sticks her hand up to block me as I try to go for the box. She looks down at it, confused, and then up at me.
“I’m not stealing,” she says, still holding me back.
I try once more to take the box away from her. My blood is boiling the more she pushes me away.
“I didn’t know you were so judgmental.”
I freeze. I’m only an inch away from her. I notice then that I’ve trapped her between the wall and me. My face burns.
She shakes the box. “Are you sure this is yours?”
I look down at it. The box is cardboard. Anyone could have bought it. She pulls the flaps back and inside are an array of records. The corners are worn down.
My stomach drops.
We don’t own a record player and we don’t own records.
Lianna folds the flaps in with a smile. “Next time, use your head. I know you’re smarter than that.”
She nudges my arm with her elbow.
The burning in my cheeks travels to my ears. I really fucked up.
But this still doesn’t explain why she’s here.
“Wait, if you’re not stealing—”
I don’t get halfway through the question when the back doors opens again.
This time, it’s Mom.
She’s carrying another box the same size and color as the one Lianna is holding. On the side of the box scrawled in neat cursive lettering is Carol. I turn to the box in Lianna’s hands. It also has a name drawn on. Except this name has been carved into the side with a sharpie in slanted letters.
Lianna.
“Oh, Maya,” Mom says. “I’m so glad you’re here. We need your help. My back’s about to cave in.”
I’m still staring at the side of the box. “Help?”
“Sorry, I forgot to tell you. We finally rented out the room!”
I snap to Mom’s smiling face. “Rented?”
“To Carol and her daughter, Lianna.” She nods to Lianna over the box. “Lianna, this is my daughter Maya. I think you two go to the same school.”
“We do,” Lianna says. She throws her free arm over my shoulder. “We’re in the same grade.”
Relief flashes over Mom’s face. “That’s great! Maybe you two could hang out since you’ll be a door away.”
I can’t even try to push Lianna away. I think I might pass out right here in the hallway if she doesn’t get her arm off me.
The ground could swallow me up. I’m praying for it.
Lianna’s arm feels like fire and the way Mom is looking at us makes me want to puke.
I look up. All confusion and embarrassment washes away the moment I see that fucking smirk on Lianna’s face.
She meets my eyes. I hope she can feel how much I want to punch her right now.
She breaks eye contact. “Is it alright if Maya shows me to the room?”
Mom looks completely out of it. “Yeah yeah! Here.”
She shoves the box into my arms.
“I’ll help Carol with the rest,” she says. She turns and races to the back of the house like it’s on fire.
I plea for her to stay, but my prayers are ignored.
Lianna peers down at me once more. Her eyes are shining as if she’s won the best prize in the world.
“Shall we?”
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