In a world where you’re already an outcast, the last thing you want to learn is you’re more different. I closed the locker, my hands were trembling. I didn’t have enough to eat today and my blood sugar was running low. I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. I’ve been working longer hours trying to make ends meet.
I stuff things into my backpack, trying to do so quickly.
Keep your head down, and avoid attention. This is the number 1 rule when you’re a loser.
I was low on money this month. My suppressants were running low. I’ve been skipping some of my pills to prolong my supply, but I can only do that for so long. I’ll still run out eventually, and it will be sooner rather than later. I think of where I would be able to pick up some extra cash. I can work a later shift at the club. I can also help out longer at the diner. Sherry needs more help in the graveyard shift, I can offer, but I’ll be running on empty. 7 hours at the club, and 7 hours at the diner. I’m sure they would be ok with it. I know they’ll understand. I’m almost always strapped for cash. I know I have to work hard for the money I make. Some of the girls may even give me some of their tips.
A cold splash covered my body. My backpack slipped from my hand. My books were smacked to the ground, and my body soon followed. I tried to push myself up but a foot pushed my head down.
“Why hello fairy boy. Just who I needed to see.” I gasp for air as his knee presses into my back. He eases only slightly. I inhale as quickly as possible.
“What do you want Jake?” His friends all around him chuckle.
“We have an alpha from the Azure Moon pack. You know what everyone calls them?” I shake my head. I wouldn’t know something like that. They keep me out of all of the pack talk. I know almost nothing.
“They’re known as the crimson criminals. They’re coming for a visit tomorrow so you’re expected to be on your best behavior. It also means today after school I’ll beat your ass, equal to the next week. If you even think of ditching it’ll be worse.” He pushed off of me and gave me a kick in the ribs. His friends all laughed. The alpha must really be important. Everyone makes sure I know as little as possible. My mother was apparently a traitor. I wouldn’t know she abandoned me, it was my grandparents that raised me. They were the only parents I’ve known.
I groan and push myself to my feet. I trudge to my next class walking in late. “Wilson. You’re late yet again.” I ignore the teacher. It was something I was used to. They give me a hard time because they can. The alpha of our pack is the principal, Jake’s father.
I’ve grown used to it. In my life it all went wrong at once. Grandma died, and grandpa went into acoma, it wasn’t long til I found out I was an omega. Being a male omega isn’t a rare occurrence, but in a small town it is. Word got out and soon I was treated even worse than before.
Most wouldn’t think I was a werewolf because I’m so weak. I’m practically blind, when I’m not wearing glasses I have to wear contacts. I can’t shift like all my pack mates.
I did keep all of the negative sides to being an omega. Even though I’m a male I can still get pregnant during my heat. I lay my head on my desk.
I allow myself to fall asleep. Working so many hours is tough, I’ve been dealing with it for a while. My life has been this way for 3 years. I’m 20, and still in high school.
I’m only here because the alpha requires. I would’ve dropped out long ago. The bell startles me awake. I sit up. I look at the clock on the wall. I don’t have much longer til I get out of here. It was now lunch time. I wander to the library.
The librarian Stephanine was a human. To her I had a bad home. She allows me to sleep without any interruption. I have a TA period with her. She never asks for anything. It’s people like her who give me hope. Big baggy clothes to cover bruises leave only so much to the imagination. The funny thing is I don’t live where all the other wolves live. In fact home is one of my only safe spaces.
I work at a strip club and a 24/7 diner. I don’t strip, I just serve drinks and various things. I lied about my age, I’m not 21, but when I started that’s what I told them. I know they pretended to believe me to help. They felt bad for me. I proved I was at least 18 which is why they gave it to me. I was able to live off inheritance for a couple of years before I had to pay the bills myself.
The school day goes by, I feel numb. I don’t fear them anymore. There comes a point when you just stop caring. I hit that point a while back. I used to be hopeful and ambitious, it didn’t last.
I haven’t smiled in forever. I haven’t had a reason to smile.
I was tired. I just want to sleep.
When the time finally comes. I simply walk out and go to the back of the school. I tucked my glasses away into my backpack. I set it down and walked to him.
“Fairy boy. I thought you wouldn’t come. Maybe you’re smart after all.” I close my eyes. I feel their kicks and punches. When they were done I just lay there. There’s nothing I can do. My body burns, I feel pain. I roll onto my back and stare at the sky.
No fractures. I can tell. They know not to go that far, but with strength sometimes it’s hard to hold back. I hear the growl from a wolf. I allow my head to tilt back further. Looking into the woods. A wolf. Without my glasses I can’t tell who it is, but for a moment everything fades.
A piece of me knows that I don’t know who it is, yet there’s another piece of me who tells me I belong with them. I clench my jaw and shake my head. With that I know it’s the omega part of me stirring. It wants me to go towards the alpha.
I know that it’s someone I want nothing to do with. I push myself off the ground. The world spins I lean against the wall for support. I lean over and allow my body to empty the contents of my stomach. There isn’t much so it’s over quickly. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve.
When everything is steady I move to my back pack and pull my glasses out. I slip them on my face. Then I dig for my keys. I throw my backpack over my shoulder.
I walk to the now nearly empty parking lot. Stephanie let me park in her spot, she didn’t drive, but no one knew that but me.
My hand trembled as I unlocked the old pickup. I climbed into the driver's seat and threw my backpack into the passenger seat.
I sighed and leaned my head against the wheel. I popped open the glove box and stuffed my face with a protein bar and downed my water. I reached in and grabbed my baby wipes and the first aid kit.
I looked into my mirror and saw a busted lip, there was dried blood on my nose. I touched up my face. I slip the keys in the ignition and start to drive. I go to the hospital. There were a couple hours til I needed to be at work.
I always talk to him. Tell him about what’s going on in the world.
I leave out all of the bad parts. I want him to wake up with a smile. He's my reason. I love him, if he was gone I don't know what I would do.
He was at the pack hospital. There are very few humans, but since there are still some humans it's a safe zone.
I'm never given a second glance. They wouldn't treat me. If I was the one dying. They would allow it to happen.
Grandpa is treated with respect though. He used to be second in command. Therefore they'll treat him well. I know that, which is why i can leave him here.
I sigh. "Alright gramps. I've gotta go to work. I love you." I kiss his forehead.
As I drive I can't stop the tears that pour. I hate this. A sob escapes. I'm sorry gran. I'm sorry I can't take better care of him.
I pull into the club parking lot. I need to pull myself together. I pull out the duffel bag on the floor. In it a bag of makeup. I'm careful.
One of the things I've picked up. Hiding the damage with makeup. I slip on the light pink lip stick. It looks natural. Next is the wig. My hair has always been unique. Long and white. Covering it up with a black wig makes it easier to hide who I am.
Were's aren't allowed at the club, they can't control themselves around all the pheromones. They would struggle to hide their true forms. if any of the girls were to see me getting beat, they wouldn't hesitate to stop it. That would get them hurt.
I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me. I slip contacts in covering my bright blue eyes. Brown eyes and black hair, this is who they see me as, here they call me angel.
They know I'm a man, but I still look feminine. Enough to get me tips. Everything helps. I slam the door of the truck. Twisting the key to lock it.
"Angel!" The buff bodyguard calls my name. He was always so intimidating, but so sweet when you actually get by to know him. He had beautiful green eyes and brown hair and tanned skin. He was tall and fit.
"Hey Blaze. How's it been?"
"It's been a slow day. Boss is in a mood." I nod. I place my hand on his shoulder.
"Thanks for the warning. I'll fix him." I smiled and slid past him.
The music was loud. Blaze was right, there weren't many people. It'll pick up later.
Boss was behind the bar. You could tell he had a rough day, probably a fight with his partner.
I couldn't see mama bear. Which would explain part of the situation.
"Hey papa bear." I walked up to him.
"Hey Angel."He seemed to ease when he saw me.
"What's wrong? Word around says somethings going on between you and mama."
"It's the usual. She hasn't been feeling well." I nodded. They had been trying for a baby for a while. Every time Daisy gets pregnant she loses the baby. They weren't old, but they were getting there. Daniel was in his 40's daisy was late 30's. I placed my hand on his shoulder.
"It will work out. This time for sure, I think it'll be a little girl." He chuckled a smile spread on his face.
"Go get changed." I could tell he felt better. I slip into the back.
I move to my locker. I change into the clothes provided. The sheer tights and shirt, shorts that are way too short. It covers but still holds the idea of sexy.
I'll do bar tending some of the time. Mostly it's being a waitress and helping with little things.
I strap on high heels and wander out onto the floor. Some of the girls were already dancing.
I don't like dancing. It’s something that I've done but rarely and only for private parties. In the moment it's exhilarating feeling people's eyes, their desire.
It makes me feel good, but I also don't like it. I'm deceiving all of them. They want something that’s truly nothing.
What I truly love about working here is they understand hardships and they don't ask too many questions. The only one who knows anything is papa bear.
He keeps it all a secret. He doesn't share it all with mama bear, just what she needs to know.
The night starts off slow, it doesn't pick up. I go behind the bar and pick up where papa bear left off.
I put on my customer face. A smile and a happy appearance. Sometimes when you pretend to be happy you can almost convince yourself.
Time flows, when I finally feel a pat on my back I can’t help but sigh in relief. I slip out the back door. I pull a pack of cigarettes from my pocket and light it. I know it’s bad for me, but I really don’t care. I lean my back against the wall and stare out into the trees.
The forest surrounds everything here. The pack is careful not to go to the edge where they can be seen which is part of the reason I knew that wolf wasn’t from around here.
“Angel?” I look over. Blaze stood with his hands on his hips. I try to put out the cigarette, but it’s too late he’s already seen it. He marched over and snaches from my fingers.
“Why would you do that to yourself? Those things are pure poison.” His mother died of lung cancer. He hates when people smoke, so much so Papa Bear banned it.
“I’m sorry Blaze.” He holds a hand out. I give him my cigarettes. He opens the pack and sees that most of them are gone. I can tell he’s hurt.
“Angel I care so much about you. That’s why I’m doing this. You’re practically killing yourself with every breath you take. If I find you with anymore- I really don’t know what I’ll do. I’m so upset right now. How can you ask for extra shifts when this is what you waste your money on. I thought you were better than this. I’m disappointed.” He walked away. I sigh and slide to the ground.
That seems to be all I ever do. Disappoint people.