Alright diary, it's four am and the party is starting to die down downstairs. I'm back in my room, though I'm laying down right now because frankly I'm really tired. Before I left I made sure to change. Going to Juniper Place is essentially a hike, but I really don't know the intersection between proper hiking attire and satanic cult outfits. Most of my clothes are black or maroon or white so I think I have a bit of an advantage in that regard.

I ended up going for fleece black lined pants and my bleach art black hoodie. The one I burned a flower pattern in with bleach. It's great and I really thought it would be a good thing to wear for both the meeting and the hike.

Charlie met me at the park gate. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and she was wearing baggy hiking pants, a black tank top, and a neon yellow sweater. I guess she wanted to make sure everyone in the woods could see her in case something happened.

"You made it, I heard your parents are out of town, is that why you were late?" she asked me as we got on the trail.

The woods at night were actually pretty peaceful, and I really didn't want to ruin the atmosphere by talking about Nathan and his party.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Charlie got the message and we just continued our walk in silence. But not uncomfortable, it was just peaceful. At the first turn I saw a chipmunk sleeping in the brush. Since I didn't know what it was at first I had to move the brush away and let the moonlight illuminate the small animal half buried in the dirt. It was pretty cute but I had to physically stop Charlie from stopping to pet it. Honestly I don't know what she learned in those mandatory girl scout forest safety classes. Everything in the forest could have diseases! And she's just trying to pet a wild animal. If this is what Satan is preaching I'm not so sure about all of this.

Once we got to Juniper Place all of the candles were lit and hanging out on the roots of the trees again. Only this time the candles weren't red, they were white. Which means, dear diary, that someone, probably Evelyn, had replaced all of the red candles with white ones. And there weren't just five or six of these small white, real candles! There were like thirty or fourty scattered throughout the woods leading up the clearing. Their smoke mixed together with the almost minty smell of the pine forest and made the air taste like a christmas fireplace.

Once we were inside the clearing there were even more candles, like twenty more just resting on the ground. Honestly with all her girl scout duties and school work I'm surprised Evelyn has enough time to both scatter and light a bunch of candles in the woods. And speaking of Evelyn she and the rest of the clutists were hanging out when Charlie and I walked in. (Can I call it walking in when we were all outside?) Instead of the organised circles and blood pouring of the previous night, everyone was just leaning again trees, staring at the candles, and basically just talking to each other. Charlie was right I guess, it is sort of like girl scouts.

Evelyn came up to us once we were in the clearing. She was carrying a yellow Dollar General bag, but for some reason I didn't think that it was discount merchandise in the bag. We greeted each other and I really hope it wasn't as awkward as I thought it was, I let Charlie do most of the talking anyway. After the pleasantries were out of the way Evelyn reached into the bag and pulled out what looked like two american girl dolls, though they were pretty mutilated. Their clothes were stripped, showing off their greyed out skin and sharpied out faces. And they had a bit of heft to them too, the one she handed to me was much heavier than any American Girl doll I had ever held.

"Thanks?" I said to her, trying to smile.

"Don't worry," Evelyn laughed, "All will be explained in time."

By this point Charlie had already started playing with her doll, smoothing it's torn and ripped hair and telling it that it would be fine. Evelyn smirked like the dool would not, in fact, be fine. The girl scout leader looked at the thin, floral watch on her wrist.

"Now we're just waiting for Micheal."

I winced and debated saying something. When I left Micheal was still at the party nursing a light Blue Moon and swaying to the music. He didn't look like he was leaving anytime soon. And it really isn't my business what Micheal does, but it was already late and I didn't want to be a zombie tomorrow morning.

"I don't think he's coming." I told her.

By this point Evelyn had turned her attention away from me but her burning intense gaze fixed on me when I said that, she raised an eyebrow, "And why do you say that?"

Even Charlie had stopped playing with her new doll to look at me. I hadn't wanted to talk about it, but it looked like I had to, "Nathan's throwing a party tonight and when I left he was still there and still enjoying it."

Evelyn sighed like her kid was running wild around Walmart. Soon after I told her she went to the center of the clearing and clapped her hands to get everyone's attention.

"Alright everyone given that everyone who is coming is here I'm going to go ahead and explain what we're doing tonight," she held up one of the dolls and yet another dollar general shopping bags. From the bag she pulled out a knife and judging by light reflecting off of the blade it was new and pretty sharp, "I have given you all a shared energy doll that I made. How you use them is pretty simple, think about who has hurt you the most, stab the doll, and they will feel your rage."

Everyone went up to her and got a knife. I held mine far away from my body. As much as I made fun of Charlie for getting so attached to her doll so quickly I also didn't want to mutilate mine even further. I looked over at Charlie and saw her eyes shining looking at her knife and knew I had to do whatever I had to do.

Once everyone had gotten a knife and we had placed our dolls on the ground for a better stabbing angle, Evelyn projected her voice again.

"Alright time to get stabbing everyone," she said, "Oh but are there any questions? Any concerns?"

I kept my mouth shut and everyone else did too. Once Evelyn also keeled down in front of her doll someone swung the first knife. And don't believe all of the hype diary, Julian didn't scream when the blood squirted all over him he just jumped up a bit. It was the other people that started screaming when the blood went everywhere.

As it turns out, diary the dolls were filled with little packs of blood sewed directly into the stuffing. Even brushing against the packs sent jets of thick liquid spilling out. And by the amount of blood in each doll I was a bit suspicious. There was no way Evelyn would have access to that much blood, the nearest blood bank is miles away. But anyway I was kneeling close to Julian when I stabbed my doll for the first time. I didn't really know who I was angry at on my first stab but when the blood started drenching my hands it was somehow warm even though the night was cold. I stabbed it again and got angry, and angrier, and angerier. Eventually even though I was pretty quiet on the outside on the inside I was screaming Nathan's name. And I won't lie to you diary I hope he felt every, single, stab.

"You're really getting into this, huh?" Julian asked me.

Covered in blood I tried to look nonchalant. With a shrug I said, "I guess so, it's sort of fun."

He laughed and looked back at his doll and stabbed it, "I just hope you're not stabbing the conductor, I don't want him to be too hurt tonight."

"Why are you so mad at Mr. Lemmons?"

"I don't know," he sighed, "He's just grinding my gears and making everyone obsessed with this stupid competittion."

"Yeah it seems like everyone's freaking out about it."

He laughed bitterly, "Not everyone. I think he's trying to compensate for the fact that only like a fourth of the school even knows there's an orchestra competition so I kind of understand."

We kept up stabbing our dolls and there was so much blood spilled on the dirt that I was sure any ranger that came they would think it was a murder scene. But in the moment I didn't care. I just kept thinking of Nathan and how mad I was about him throwing that stupid party! Honestly diary I don't think I could have stopped if I wanted to.

In between jabbs into the doll (it was already looking like a mess of fabric and feeling like a wet rag but like I said I couldn't stop) I muttered under my breath, "I wonder why Evelyn isn't at the party. Nathan probably invited her, she's popular enough."

Julian made eye contact with me and looked genuinely scared. I turned around and Evelyn was behind me. Maybe it was the late night or that fact that I was holding a knife but for once when I was talking to her I felt confident. And I'm sure the look on my face just dared her to mess with me.

"Simple it's because I don't care about being popular. I live by the vow I made three years ago, I live for only myself and Satan."

Darn diary, do you think she really means that or she's just trying to sound cool? And if she does you think I'll ever care that little?

Naomi J. Morgan