I awoke to the sound of my doorbell ringing. I sat up with the piece of paper I was drawing on from last night sticking to my face.
I smacked my lips lazily.
The doorbell rang again.
I perked up. Oh boy! A visitor!
I climbed to my feet, still wearing my work uniform which I had forgotten to take off, and dashed to the door, flinging it open.
There was a woman at the door—a woman with black curls. “Hello. Can I help you?"
“It’s you… It’s really you, Milo.” The woman said breathlessly. “I’m your girlfriend, Melissa.”
“Oh, Milo’s girlfriend…” I murmured confusedly. “I’m not Milo, I’m Kay. But it’s good to meet you.” I gave her a smile.
She flattened her palm against her chest with a lovesick expression. “I missed your smile. I hoped that you would that you would be reincarnated.”
She tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Please go out with me tonight.”
I scratched my nose. “But I don’t know you…”
The sun cast a warm, almost angelic glow around her from the open door, and for a moment, I thought maybe I did know her. And that, once, I had loved her very much.
She wrapped her arms around me, making me jump. “Of course you do. You just need to remember. Please, meet me tonight at eight at our usual place.”
“Usual place?” I replied, pushing her away gently.
“I know you’ll remember.” She answered and then strode out my door.
I watched her go with my heart thudding in excitement and fear. Even if I did remember where and what our usual place was, I was afraid of meeting a stranger there.
However... I couldn't deny that I was very lonely and that it would be nice to have company.
While I drove to work, I thought hard about what restaurant she and Milo might have gone to together.
I sifted through all of my own memories, first. It was incredibly difficult not to get preoccupied with memories of Lyle and Cherri, and even Rosy. I missed her, too. She never judged me for being a little… Slow.
But buried underneath all of those memories, there were memories of a blond-haired man, sitting in class and gazing at the back of Melissa’s head longingly.
I couldn’t tell if the setting was high school or college because I, myself, had never been to either. But I could feel the desire in Milo’s heart as he stared at the back of the woman’s head, tapping his pencil impatiently.
The sound of the memory was muted, but I could still see it perfectly. It overwhelmed my eyes with its brilliance.
When class ended, Milo gently touched Melissa’s arm to get her attention before she could leave the classroom. The two talked for a time. Melissa, in her high heels, was a foot taller than him, which he found incredibly attractive. She smiled and giggled a lot, and I thought he must have gotten himself a date.
The memory faded away, and I realized that I was careening toward the blue Station Wagon in front of me. I slammed on the brake.
My car shuddered and squeaked to a halt.
Nervously, I rolled up my windows in case someone decided to yell at me for being a bad driver.
When I arrived at work, the boss immediately needed me on one of the cash registers. Of all the tasks to do at the supermarket, being the cash register was my least favorite.
I always counted the change wrong. I always felt rushed and panicked while scanning the items, and I feared the judgment of the customer, my coworkers, and my bosses. I wanted nothing more than to get out of the spotlight when I was on cashier duty.
I belonged in the shadows where no one could see us or judge me; a place of peace and quiet where I could be myself. I always worked better when no one was watching me, after all.
While I went about scanning items and counting change wrong, the memory of Milo’s and Melissa’s favorite restaurant came flooding back to me.
A pizza joint on Broadway. I thought to myself.
The person I really wanted to go out with was Dr. Green, but because he hated me and thought I was stupid, I thought I had a better chance with Melissa. She seemed nice enough and wanted my company, after all.
As I scanned a woman’s items, my mind was enraptured by the dark tower where the shadow man lived. My eyes became wide; I fell out of reality as I tended to.
“Excuse me,” the customer said, looking disturbed at my lifeless face. “Can you continue scanning my items?”
I shook my head, coming back to reality. I muttered, “I’m sorry.”
After work, I followed my memories to the pizza joint that Melissa and Milo used to go.
My feet were sore from standing on them all day; I had a splitting headache from children shrieking in the supermarket and the echoing of dozens of voices in one place.
I felt listless.
Not a single one of those voices in the supermarket spoke to me; they didn’t even like to acknowledge that I existed--which was fine because I didn't enjoy the attention.
I pulled into the pizzeria parking lot and looked for Melissa. She was standing under the neon sign in front of the restaurant. She waved to me giddily.
I strolled over to her cautiously with my hands shoved nervously in my pockets so that they wouldn’t shake.
“You remembered! I knew you would!” Melissa exclaimed, throwing her arms around me.
I gave her an unsure smile. “It took me a moment, but I did. I have to remind you that I’m not Milo, though, I’m Kay…”
She put a finger to my lips, shushing me. “You are Milo! You just have to remember all the fine details of our life together!”
She grabbed my wrist and dragged me inside the pizzeria. I laughed. “Don’t you think you should slow down?”
“Every moment with you is precious! It’s a miracle that fate has brought you back to me, and I won’t waste a second of it!”
We took a seat at a little round table and Melissa ordered us a pizza.
She stared at me unblinkingly.
I found it unsettling, but I also relished the attention. “So… How did you and Milo meet?”
“You don’t remember…?” Melissa whispered.
“I think… Did you meet in college?” I asked.
She nodded. “See? You remembered perfectly…”
I looked down at the table bashfully. “Not perfectly. I don’t really remember what happened after Milo asked you out.”
Melissa pouted. “You mean after you asked me out.” She corrected me.
She thought I was someone else; someone smart and lovable. Someone worthy of her love, and I wanted to be that person. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to say I was. “Right. After I asked you out.”
Melissa grinned ear-to-ear. She put her hand on top of mine. “There’s not much to tell about us after that first date. We just hit it off, and we never stopped loving each other.”
My eyes were dazed. “Love?”
She nodded wordlessly, because no words were necessary.
I looked down with a contented smile. I cleared my throat. “What do you do for a living?”
“I’m an engineer, of course! Just like we both dreamed! And you?” She asked.
I was ashamed. “I’m a cashier.”
She gasped melodramatically. “That won’t do! We’ll have to enroll you so you can finish your degree!”
“But I’m…” I paused. I wanted to be Milo so badly. “Since I’m a shell, they won’t let me go to school.”
“I forgot about that…” Melissa took a sip of her water. “No worries! A cashier is a perfectly fine job to have! But I don’t want you living alone in that scuzzy apartment… You should move in with me!”
My eyes lit up; I was nearly swept away in the moment—I wanted to say yes—but I knew that it would be moving way too fast. “We should go on a few more dates, first.”
“More dates? Why? We already know each other so well!” Melissa said cheerfully.
I murmured, “Well…”
Melissa sighed a heavy, forlorn sigh. “Listen, I know that you don’t remember everything. I know that, since you forgot so much, you feel like you’re a different person right now. But I also know that, with enough time, you’ll remember everything, and you’ll be you again. The more time we spend with each other, the more you’ll remember. So please, move in with me.”
I folded my hands in my lap, unable to meet her gaze. “Give me more time.”
Melissa looked annoyed and disappointed. But eventually, she forced a smile. “Alright. More time it is.”
The rest of our date was fun.
I found myself completely envious of Melissa and her wonderful life. She had money, friends, pets, and a big house.
She used her phone to show me pictures she had taken of all of them. I looked at them with teary eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Melissa asked.
“You have so much, and I have so little.” I lamented, wiping tears away.
I thought of my empty, dirty, scary apartment, and it truly sunk in how little I had to live for.
Melissa shook her head. “That’s not true. My life is missing something incredibly important.”
“What’s that?” I asked, hiding my face behind my hands.
“You.”
Her voice was warm and inviting. I felt nothing but unconditional love from her.
Perhaps this woman wasn’t just Milo’s soulmate.
Perhaps she was mine, too.
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