Kasper

Midterm was approaching and I was excited to be away from school. Contrary to popular belief, high schools aren't the best days of a person's life. Whoever said that was a liar or didn't attend a Caribbean highschool. With a nice mix of racism, homophobia and bullying things couldn't get any better. 

I'm hoping that we won't have much assignments though. I would love to just have a relaxed week without any restrictions. 

All the students that took math were called into the office for a meeting. The math teacher is pregnant, so maybe she had her baby. She's been waddling around the school with her plump belly since February and it was an incredible sight to see. 

There were chairs set up and a few students were already seated. Asia's in my math class, but I didn't see him today. Luisa didn't take math because she proclaimed that algebra was not needed for her to be an artist. While Mila said lawyers don't need math. Imagine knowing what you want to be, while still in high school.

I couldn't relate.

I kept looking around the hall until I found Iris, who was sitting beside Elias. The same Elias that I never replied to. Nervousness and guilt followed me as I approached them. Iris offered me a smile, while Elias avoided eye contact. 

"Good morning," I say giving Iris a kiss on the cheek. "I came late, so I didn't get to see you. How are you?"

"Good morning. I'm okay. Just a little tired. You?" She did look tired. I've noticed her sluggishness lately. I just hope that this wasn't because she wasn't eating.

"I'm good. Just interested in the news we're getting." 

"Hmm. That's right." Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Imagine if she had the baby." She turned to Elias and they both looked excited.

"She looked really pretty in our last class last week," Elias added. "I like babies."

Iris nodded in agreement. "They're so cute." She then paused. "Wait a minute. Have you guys met?" 

Elias glanced at me again but didn't reply. I felt guilty, so I didn't even bother to reply. "Oh.. well Elias, this is Kasper. I always talk about him. He's not as annoying as I make it seem. And Kasper, this is Elias. He's my new bestie." 

Awkwardness hung in the air. I didn't know what to say and Elias' blank expression wasn't helping my case. Thankfully our principal appeared before either of us could answer.

"Good morning everyone," he announced. 

Mr. Thomas, our principal didn't seem to like his job very much. I'm not sure if he was a teacher before he became a principal, but he seemed to not care about any of us. Most of the time, he just looked miserable.

The students continued talking while he stood there. He turned a knob on the speaker which caused a feedback noise to hurt our ears.

"Thank you for cooperating," he muttered. "As you all may know, Mrs. Lake was pregnant. She gave birth to a little girl earlier this morning." 

Iris squealed beside me, while other students cheered. Mrs. Lake was an awesome teacher. She made us feel like she care about us and that's all we could ever ask for. 

"Anyways, we only have one substitute and they're only available on three days. This is an issue because there are two classes and you get math classes twice a week. So we came up with a solution. You will get math once a week." 

Some students were excited by his admission. I kind of felt excited too. Math once a week is a dream. 

"Don't get too excited. Your schedules will be changed, so your second math block will be aligned with the other class. That way you will be doing math study groups." 

A few angry whispers were heard among us. 

"The substitute will be overseeing the third session. You will have to sign in for each class. If you aren't there for three classes, without a valid excuse you will be getting community service. Alright, any questions?"

He watched us intensively, daring us to ask a question. In the end, nobody did. "That was it. You now have a free period, till your next classes." 

The climate changed again and everyone was excited for the free period. 

"So, I really need to use the bathroom," Iris whispered. "Let's go." 

We all stood up and headed outside of the hall. Iris hurdled her way to the bathroom while Elias and I just stood there. 

Two weeks ago, I didn't think that I'd ever be standing near him, but now here we are. The frown on his face looked foreign. I've never seen him look this way before. 

"I am sorry," he started. "You don't like me right?" 

My eyes widened in confusion. "No, it was me. I was the one - I'm sorry."

"I don't understand." 

I sighed. I'm going to end up freaking out. "Sorry again." 

"Do you want to sit and wait for Iris?"

All I could do was nod.

This was something that I wasn't ready to do. I couldn't face him. My crush, who is a guy, messaged me and was excited to get to know me. I should be happy. I should be ecstatic. But all I feel is fear.  

I'm afraid that I'll get to know him and I'll like him even more. I'm scared to look into his beautiful eyes and see myself reflected in them. I don't want to see a coward. 

I could've just replied to him last week and just played it cool. We could've been bros by now. Instead I had to have an entire freak out. 

The cafeteria was empty. I guess not many people had free periods now. We took a seat on a nearby bench. Elias turned around so his entire body was facing me.

"So, I didn't scare you off? I was kind of nervous to talk to you and I was excited as well. So it was all those things put together. I'm sorry if I was too forward," Elias said while playing with his hands.

"Uh.. no. It was all me. I saw your messages, but I forgot to reply and then when I saw them again, I felt bad and I didn't want to reply so many days later," I lied.

"But, you've been avoiding me too. I know you don't owe me anything, but I just felt really bad. As if I did something." 

"You didn't do anything. It's all me. I'm sorry," I apologized.

"Well, I'm sorry if I was too forward. I still like you and I'd like to get to know you," he continues.

"L-like?"

I finally looked at his face. A red tint flushed his cheek. I was confused. 

"Yes. I like you. Can we be friends?" 

"Friends? Oh."  

Why did that make me feel bad? I don't understand my emotions. I don't want to like him, yet I am bothered by him not wanting more with me. I took out my phone and looked for his message. I typed out a greeting with lots of emojis and sent it. I watched him to catch his reaction. 

He just turned red again. Was he sick?

"You're really cute," he said. 

"Oh." 

"Can I take a picture of you?" he asked with a smile.

"Why?"

"To add it to your contact information," he replied as if it was the most reasonable explanation. 

"I can just send you one," I replied and started looking through my phone for a decent picture. 

When I did find one, I sent it only to receive one from him in exchange. He looked so beautiful. His hair was loose, just as it was right now. The only other extravagant quality was his lips which looked like he'd just been kissed. I felt slightly attacked. 

"Do you like the picture?" he asked me. I nodded and looked away. He was too intense.

I was finally saved by Iris. "Sorry, it took so long. Asia just got here, so I was telling him about what happened."

"Hi Asia," Elias said with a lot of enthusiasm. 

"Hi," Asia replied back with the same energy. He then turned to me and gave me a hug. "Kasper." 

For the millionth time today, I felt uncomfortable and awkward. Asia has always been touchy, but my reservations came when I started struggling with my sexuality. I hate that he's able to live this truth. 

"Hi," I replied while inching out of his arms. "I missed you this morning," I tried.

"Doctor's appointment. Just a little check up. I'm good now," he grinned at us and he showed us just how pretty he is. 

Harry was so lucky. 

"Well... we have twenty minutes left. I have homework to do," Iris announced while pulling out a book out of her bag. She took a seat and Asia followed. He also took a book. 

"Can I copy?"

They did their homework, while Elias and I just sat there.

Do you come here often? - Elias 9:09 a.m.

I wish I didn't. - Kasper 9:09 a.m.

I like it when you're here. - Elias 9:10 a.m.

I like it when you're here too.