STELLA COULD NEVER stop staring at her mirror self. It was not because she is narcissistic nor she was having a fit of dysmorphic... it was more of like that she reminded herself of what she is; a nineteen years old with an average figure, average height, black hair, pale and alexithymic.
None of these attributes hold any resemblance to her parents or that any distant relatives of her parents. Of course, these facts should hold true because she was a child that Sullivan and Silvia Ghotham found on their farm located behind their house seventeen years ago on that summer day.
The couple at that time was a husband and wife that had wed for three years and they never for once had succeeded to have a child of their own. They without any hesitation took her in, bathed her, and care her like their own until today. They never care about her short-comings or what her community called her 'a peculiar mind and physic' state.
When she was four years old she started to notice that their neighbors would gossip among others about her origin and her obvious genetic differences with her little sister which at that time was a year older after her birth.
She, one who had always questions every possible new thing, asked her parents as to why their neighbors acted that way and their answers never deemed to fulfill her curious mind but she never asks further seeing their smiling faces. The kind of face that she would never want to see again because even though she lacks emotion, she understands pains. For that every time she saw those gossiping aunties or sneering uncles or even scared children, she would cover her ears and looked ahead.
She thought even then being deaf and ignorant was enough but again different kind criticism knocked on her life.
It was a boy. He was small compared to her yet his voice was louder than the whole class. His eyes were piercing. A look of mean kid usually has but people always call him cute and adorable even when he was talking nonsense nonstop.
"Yer're ugly," he said.
"Ugly?" That was the first time she heard it. Maybe those aunties at her neighborhood had called her that before but she never cared about it honestly. Today as well but he was the first to said it at her face.
"Ugly and repulshif (repulsive). Me mom said that kid like yer are a disgresh (disgrace) 'specially those eyes of yers. Could scare away even a phantom. To even think that Lily had a scary sister, do yer want to make her an outcast too?"
Was she an outcast? And what was that with her eyes?
"Are yer stupid?" he questioned her with a face that was very hard for Stella to understand. He wanted to laugh at her but at the same time, he looked like he wanted to slap her face. Was that possible?
"I don't understand what you're talking about," she straightly replied. Her face was blanked.
He chuckled. His brow knitted and his face turned beet red. "I guess yer really are a living doll. A freak. I hope it's not contasious (contagious). Pity if Lily caught your disease. Your whole family gonna be shunned fer real."
If he thought that those kinds of words can make her cry, then he is the stupid one but Stella has to admit it made her think.
Really think.
All this time she was the one who never really cared what people said about her and she never thought of what her parents or her little sister would feel. They have feelings and feel far more than she is.
And that one cold winter night, where rain had been pouring non-stop instead of snow, she heard them talking. Her parents were.
"Those nasty old hags. Wasting daylight on their verandas gossiping and pointing like their grandkids far superiors than others."
It was her mother's voice. Letting out her frustration to her husband who sat beside her while thinking that her children had slept tight in their beds. It was a pure coincidence that Stella had heard them when she came down wanting to have a glass of water for her parch throat.
"What more can we do Silv? Even if we can stop them from talking about her, we still can't cover her from those judging eyes, their inner malice. It will go away. It takes time," softly Mr. Ghotham consoled his wife.
This must be because of what happened at the winter festival at the bazaar that afternoon. It was like any normal day of the year for them to visit the festival to celebrate the oncoming winter solstice. Their apothecary had closed for the day and her family had a nice outing until her mother picked up uncensored word spoke by elderly women. Her finger was pointing at her family. To be precise, it was her—Stella. She never thought much of it and the bazaar was pretty crowded with family and they finally had a sunny day for a very long rainy winter. She never guessed that her mother would hear it and it made her cry.
"For how long? They have been at it since they set their eyes on her. When we say something they accuse us of lying, twisting our words, and make it more hideous slander than ever. If I can just cut and boil those treacherous tongues at that very moment—"
A stream of hot water shoots out from the sink tap making Mr. Ghotham hurriedly over there and desperately tried to close or in this case stop his wife's uncontrollable magic.
"Control your anger Silv. Do you want our house to explode too?"
Yet she continued to cry and wail. Her husband's words went by uselessly like the hot water that he tried to stop it. Warm vapor rose blanketing the cold kitchen.
"I hate them. I really hate them all. Such words... to our dear-dear Stella. Even if she is our adopted daughter, the daughter that we found behind our house... don't you think that it was fate? She's a little girl that we had been hoping for. God give her to us and I never felt such happiness even just the mere actions of feeding her, bath her, cloth her, sleep her... everything about her makes me happy. I felt like I'm her real mother. She's my daughter. She doesn't deserve them, she doesn't deserve us..." she wailed. Her voice echoed silently throughout the house and Stella sat helplessly on the stair looking down on her two small feet.
Her front hair had started to grow out at that time and she let it grew over time never to get it cut until she deemed it was too much. She had gone to her primary school looking more invincible than before and avoided any unnecessary interactions.
She realized that nothing will change if she continued to be the center of people's attention. Her eyes, like what her mother had said, did not deserve people to criticize. Her heart and her being are far more important for her family than to them that always condemned her. The one who has always been accepting her for what she is worth was her parents, her little sister, and him. The boy who came to her life two years after that, once again changing her outlook on life.
Carefully she parted her hair and let and let a simple yet beautiful glittering pastel coloured hair clip clipped her front hair, revealing the face feature that she had work so hard to conceal it. What was more, her hair clip made her dark raven hair looked livelier rather than looking dull and oily. It was a gift from Gitto for her birthday two years ago. And last year or to be exact last week, he gave her an eye make-up kit.
She does not know how to make up his gift. She was not exactly a person who shows her face to people regularly. She knew that Gitto adores her eyes. That boy had seen her eyes for the first time when they were both in their primary school. It was by accident that he saw it and ever since that he had been her supportive enthusiastic fan. That was why he gave her a hair clip and now, the eye make-up kit.
They share the same birthday though every birthday she fell ill and they had to celebrate it on her bed and uneventful. Her sickness never makes him avoid her and he never fails to be by her bedside on the eve of their birthday with a small cupcake and a lit candle. He started celebrating his birthday together with her when they both hit eleven and ten years old. Since then her lonely and painful birthdays had turned into cheery and fulfilling.
Gitto had and always be a friend that she never knew that she needed it. The boy that she knows now and the boy that she knew the first time they met was different. The little Stella would not even expect that she can have such a close relationship with Gitto and to think that it lasted for ten years.
'tap, tap.'
She heard a knock on her window covers and quickly took a last look at her face before she arranged her steps lightly toward her window. She looked different from her normal look but since Gitto had given her the hair clip so that he can see her face, today and the week before and the week after, Gitto can see her face for all he wants.
"Hey," he greeted her when the window latch was lifted and the covers were pushed to reveal her best friend levitated in the air. His smile never leaves his face, his hair was disheveled as usual and he wore his favourite denim jacket over his gray sweater. His dark hair was glistened under the shine of bright moon hovering in the starry night sky.
"Did anyone saw you?" she asked in a hushed tone. Their date was not supposed to be known by anyone even her little sister Lily. Not that they were up to anything naughty, they thought that it was fun to have a secret rendezvous between them. Well, if it was fun for Gitto then it was fun for her.
Gitto shook his head. "Ready?" He offered his hand.
Stella looked behind her back, at her darkened room, making sure that her door had locked and that the nightstand lamp was off. She had said her goodnight wishes to her parents and Lily when she finished helping them in the kitchen, brushed her teeth, and made believe that she was really ready to go to bed.
"Yes," she breathed. Carefully she stepped up on the window shelf, the place where she always sits every morning to sing her morning routine for the flowers and trees and her parents' herbs. Before she clasps Gitto's hand, he withdrew his hand and abruptly landed his two feet on her window sill with his eyes went wide. Both hands were cupping her face forcing her to stand near to him.
"Y—you don't wear the make-up I gave you," he exclaimed in a forced control voice. With the light that the moon reflecting, he inspected every corner of her eyes, trying to find a speckle of dust on her eyelids.
"I don't know how to wear it," she replied.
"You could've asked Lily."
"She's busy."
"You're her sister."
"I don't find the need to wear it."
"ME!" he answered releasing her face. "Can't you humor me, Stell?"
From the way she heard his tone, Stella knew that she had hurt her friend's feelings. The last time he was angry like this because of the hair clip.
The very first hair clip that Gitto gave her was on her twelfth birthday. She did not know the reason behind his gift and simply gave it to Lily. The next day when he found out when Lily wore it, he was furious and sulked for a whole week.
The second hair clip he gave her, the hair clip lasted for almost four years before it was gone blown by the harsh wind the night she went on her date with Gitto. The lost did not upset him and it gave him the reason to find a new hair clip for her which was the hair clip that she was wearing it the last time. She remembered that he did say that the hair clip had gone dull and outdated that he had found a reason to buy a new one for her.
Stella's head bent downward looking at her feet. Should she apologize to him when he was the one who said 'it' so many years ago? "You said that you adore my eyes," she said and her eyes wavered to the tulips in the flower pot. It was a gift too. Rich purple coloured tulips.
Gitto let out an exasperated sigh and he rubbed his neck. "Yes, yes I did and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier the reason for my gift." Slowly he reached for Stella's hands and held it like she was a fragile object that might crumple beneath his big hands.
"I gave it to you so you could've worn it as you did with the hair clip. I want to see you looking a lot more beautiful than you already are."
Then she really should apologize to him. She had angered him and by not appreciating his gift, she had once again, let him down. Like when the first time he gave her that hair clip. "Should I go to wear them now?"
"No, it's okay. I'm letting you go for tonight but by next week, if you still not wearing it, then I have a punishment for you," he said softly after resting his forehead on her forehead with his dark eyes piercing into her eyes. She could feel his warm breath on her skin and how it made her skin tingled when it clashed with the cold night air.
"Punishment?"
"Yup."
"Is it going to be hurtful?" Stella cannot imagine what kind of punishment that Gitto talked about but she only knew of the harsh punishment that her parents used to give Lily when she was being naughty when she was a small girl.
He smiled then chuckled. "Oh Stella, come on we're not delaying our date any longer."
He pushed himself out while at the same time his hand that was still holding her hands were pulling her whole body along out of her room and to be completely airborne like a bird. Gitto is an incredible person for able to control his air magic effortlessly especially controlling two-person magic.
They flew up to her house roof where the view of the city is clear with its light flooding the streets made it looked livelier from where they perched their feet on. She could saw the institute dimly light lit along the perimeter of the gate and she could see the bazaar headlights lighting its outer wall that was decorated with vines and clay statues.
"So do you have any places you want to go tonight?" he asked as soon they landed on top of her house.
To be honest, she did not have any specific places that she wanted to go as long she can have her rendezvous with Gitto. It was refreshing that she got to see her world, not through her fringe hair but to see it freely.
"I don't know," she answered looking at the boy who was standing beside her, his eyes never leaving her face and her left hand in his right hand. "What about you?"
"I shall follow wherever my lady shall go," he said playfully, and once again Stella was reminded of how those lips were always tight in linear line when they were first introduced.
"You're not making it any easier," she commented and he laughed. The wrinkle that it made and the echoed that resounded made her shoulders felt bigger by the minute. To see the difference in his attitude of when he was a kid and of when he is now, she couldn't help but let out a small chuckled that she nor Gitto noticed.
They were in their own little world that no one can burst it with.
A little something that they had since they were just small kids on an orange coloured evening with a small pot of purple tulip.
Comments (0)
See all