Nick stayed on the bed for a while. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Julian’s beautiful face and it brought a smile to his lips again. He didn’t exactly know why, but he didn’t mind it. It was better than thinking about the countless fights he’d had with Katie lately. 

He sighed a bit as he stood up from the bed and walked down towards the living room, where Katie was sitting on the couch with the phone pressed against her ear, babbling with someone. Nick ignored her as he stepped out on the balcony and looked down over the lake.

The sight of it calmed him down in a way he hadn’t felt before. It was so beautiful and hypnotizing and when he looked into the blue water he felt a buzzing in his head.

A part of him wanted to swim in it, though it wasn’t something he’d ever do, it just looked so inviting. Nick wanted to go down there right away, but he knew it wouldn’t sit well with Katie when she was in a bad mood already. Instead, he just had to enjoy the view from afar.

‘’The chef will be here around five!’’ Katie yelled, as she once again demanded his attention. Nick rubbed his temples as he stepped into the living room once again.

‘’What?’’ He said annoyed.

‘’The chef will be here at five.’’ She repeated while rolling her eyes at him. ''Are you deaf now too?'' 

‘’I thought we would be cooking our own food!’’ Nick muttered as he crossed his arms over his broad chest and stared at her.

‘’Us… cooking?’’ The mocking tone was back in her voice, and it brought a frown on Nick’s face. ‘’Did you become all primitive after leaving the city? This is a vacation… I will not spend it cooking dinner for you!’’

Nick chose not to answer her, instead, he just threw himself onto the hard and uncomfortable couch and turned on the TV.

It annoyed him to no end that everything had to be so formal. He finally had three weeks of vacation to escape the world he lived in… instead it turned out to be the same, except he didn’t have his job to save him from spending too much time with her.

A part of him had hoped that this trip could help their relationship. He wanted to be happy with her. He wanted to love her, as he once did, and he wanted her to love him back. Nick had thought that they would’ve been going on romantic trips around the lake… have a lovely picnic underneath the old and beautiful oak trees. He wanted them to cook dinner together and have fun. But it wouldn’t happen, because Katie didn’t want to save their marriage.

Later that night, after the dreadful dinner, Nick went up to the bedroom to change his clothes. He was going to go for a walk down at the lake, because he wanted to, and he was fine doing it on his own.

He stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. Julian had most definitely been right about his outfit. It wasn’t fitting for this, but it was all he had.

He took off his tailored jacket and tie and hung them carefully over a chair, then he unbuttoned his white shirt and pushed it off his shoulders as went over to pick up a clean one.

He took it on, and began buttoning it up… and then he did something he hadn’t done in many years… he allowed the three top buttons to stay open, showing off his long neck and a little of his collarbones.

He smiled a little as he stepped in front of the mirror again. He still looked like someone who was on their way to a business meeting, and not for a walk around a lake, but it was the most relaxed look he’d worn since he started his company.

He walked down to the kitchen and picked up a bottle of expensive wine and a single glass before Katie stopped him. She demanded to know where he was going and told him that he could walk outside looking like a slob. Nick just ignored her and walked out of the mansion and strolled slowly down the dirt road.

He stopped short in front of Julian’s house. It was dark, so either Julian was asleep or he wasn’t at home. Nick didn’t know why he cared or why he even stopped to stare, but he just couldn’t help it. There was just something about Julian’s personality that reminded him of something he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

He shook off the thoughts and continued down towards the lake. The air was still warm and the fresh smell of grass, moss, and trees filled his nose. He took a deep breath and forced the fresh air to fill his lungs.

As he reached the lake he stopped up and looked at it. It was even more beautiful up close. The water was crystal blue, and the mild wind created small waves that washed up over the small sand-filled edge around it. The weak buzzing feeling in his head was back as he just enjoyed its beauty.

The only sounds around him were the sound of the small waves and a gentle rattling of leaves in the tree crowns.

He sat down in the sand, poured himself a glass of wine, and closed his eyes for just a second.
This was the most calming moment in Nick’s life, and he just wanted to stay in it for the rest of his life. It took away all the stress, all the irritation, and all the frustration and left him relaxed and happy.

‘’It’s a lovely view, isn’t it?’’ A voice asked from behind him.

Nick turned his head and looked over his shoulder and spotted Julian, who was sitting under a big tree, with his back against the tree trunk. He was chewing on the end of a pencil, and a little black notebook was lying open in his lap. Julian smiled like him, which Nick returned.

‘’Yes,’’ Nick answered as he stood up and took a few steps closer towards Julian. ‘’It’s beautiful.’’ He looked down at the notebook in Julian’s lap. It was a mess of words, sentences, and doodles. Some words had been crossed out and other words were circled. ‘’I don’t want to disturb your work,’’ Nick said with a smile as he turned around to leave.

Julian stood up and brushed off his pants with a little cheeky smile on his lips.

‘’It’s okay… I’m out of ideas anyway.’’ He said with a little shrug. ‘’I thought you were going to bring your wife, sir?’’ Julian said as he tried his best to sound formal. It didn’t work though, and Julian’s cheeks began to heat up.

‘’Sir?’’ Nick repeated as he cocked an eyebrow at him. ‘’Who’s formal now?’’ He asked as he winked at him. Julian scratched his neck nervously while chuckling a little. ‘’But no. She doesn’t appreciate nature apparently, so she decided to stay home.’’ Nick shrugged as he looked up at the mansion. He couldn’t understand why she preferred sitting in there instead of enjoying the freedom outside, but it was her own choice.

‘’Yeah, that’s hard to understand,’’ Julian said as he sat down in the sand and leaned back on his elbows. The young man’s eyes looked so warm and inviting that it made Nick’s heart skip a beat. ‘’but okay, with a house like that…’’ Julian continued and nodded towards the mansion, ‘’there’s probably not much of a reason to leave it at all.’’

Nick just stood there for a second and looked down and the young man. He didn’t know whether he should sit down or if he should stay standing, and he didn’t know what to say to any of what Julian had just said. He wanted to tell Julian, that it wasn’t that perfect, but he couldn’t admit to him that there was something in his life that wasn’t perfect.

Nick played around in the sand with the toe of his shoes as he looked between Julian and his house. It felt like he was about to make a choice, though he didn’t know what he was choosing between. He sighed as he finally sat down next to Julian.

‘’You know,’’ Nick started as he looked over at him, ‘’it isn’t that perfect. I would prefer one of the small old ones. You know, one of those that feels old and has a weak scent of 'damp' tree-‘’ Nick closed his eyes and smiled a little. ‘’where the cupboard doors are about to fall off and where the bed squeaks every time you turn around.’’ Nick emptied his glass before just taking a sip from the bottle instead. He swallowed and handed the bottle to Julian, who accepted it with a little smile.

‘’That sounds like the house I live in,’’ Julian laughed as he took a sip of wine. ‘’I would love to switch houses… I just don’t think your wife would be satisfied with that.’’ Nick shrugged. He honestly didn’t care about what she wanted at this moment. Nick with without a doubt would end up dead if he tried to suggest that they could switch houses with Julian.

‘’You’re probably right,’’ Nick said as he leaned back on his elbows like Julian. ‘’How is writing going? Have you gotten far?’’ Nick continued as he looked over his shoulder at Julian. The young man’s gaze was on the little lake and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Julian chuckled a little while shaking his head. ‘’If you by ‘gotten far’ mean less than a page… then yes,’’ the young man laughed and Nick couldn’t look away from him. Julian’s laugh was sweet and calm, they were the opposite of Katie’s mocking and high-pitched laughs, but the best part of it… Julian’s laugh was real, and it was spreading a comforting warmth inside Nick’s body.

Nick could do nothing but smile stupidly every time a little laugh escaped Julian’s lips.

Julian stilled smiled as he took another swing from the bottle before handing it back to Nick.

They just stayed at their little spot in front of the lake and talked for a very long time. The alcohol had made Nick loosed up a bit, and it felt easier to keep a conversation going with Julian now.

They were just talking, laughing, and pushing each other playfully… it was a freedom Nick had missed. He felt younger in Julian’s company, and he wanted to thank him for it, but he thought that it would sound a bit too weird. But he felt more alive than he had in a very long time. Nick's smile turned real, his laughs no longer halfhearted and he felt relaxed in his whole body as he just sat there next to Julian.

Julian looked at the wine bottle in his hands, shook it a little as he saw that it was empty. He put it aside and then he began laughing as he laid down onto his back in the warm sand looking up at the night sky.

Nick looked at him for a second as he cocked an eyebrow at him, then he sighed and laid down close to him and looked up at the same beautiful darkness as Julian did.

There were no street lights that could disturb his view of the black sky, or of the thousands of twinkling stars up there. The moon was full and lit up almost the whole lake as if it was still daylight. The water had turned black and thousands of small diamonds glittered across the surface on it.

''It's really beautiful, '' Nick said quietly as his eyes slid over every visible star.

‘’It really is,’’ Julian said. He turned his head a little and looked at Nick with a cheeky smile on his lips. Nick could feel the young man’s gaze on him, and he realized just how close they were lying. Julian’s whole left side war pressing against Nick's right, and when he turned his head to look at him, he could almost feel Julian’s breath against his lips. Nick’s heart was racing in his chest, and each breath he took was shaky. Julian’s bright smile disappeared and his expression turned more serious, and his eyes turned big, almost pleadingly, as he looked at Nick. He knew he should look away, but he just couldn’t. Julian’s eyes were too hypnotizing.

They didn’t speak at all, and Nick wondered what would happen if he just leaned in a little closer, but he stayed put. He didn’t know what was happening or what he wanted, but he didn’t want to leave it all yet.

Nick could no longer feel the alcohol in his system. Julian’s eyes were making him sober, and he couldn’t look away.

Julian blinked rapidly a few times before clearing his throat. ‘’It’s getting late,’’ he said as he turned away from Nick. ‘’Your wife must be worried.’’ It pulled Nick out of his own thoughts, and he stood up quickly and began brushing off his clothes.

Julian stayed on his back and looked up at him with a big smile on his lips.

‘’You’re right,’’ Nick muttered nervously as he looked over his shoulder towards his house. ‘’I should probably-’’ he nodded towards it with an awkward smile on his lips. Nick was confused and didn’t know what to do, and he could see that at was amusing Julian a lot. The young man was just lying there, biting his lip to hold back a grin. ‘’-you know… eh. Go back.’’ Nick stammered. It was the most awkward situation in Nick’s life, but as he looked into Julian’s warm eyes it all disappeared.

This smile on Julian’s lips disappeared as he shook his head a little. ‘’It’s probably a good idea,’’ Julian said quietly as he cleared his throat a little. Nick nodded, not knowing what else to say before turning his back on him. ‘’I see you around then,’’ Julian continued. Nick just nodded and hurried to walk away.

The walk back towards his house felt longer than it should’ve. His mind was spinning out of control and he didn’t know how to shut it out. Everything he closed his eyes, Julian’s face appeared, and it wasn’t right. Nick wasn’t gay. He’d never been into men and he still wasn’t, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to lean closer to Julian… to feel Julian’s lips against his own. He shook his head fiercely as he took a deep breath. He blamed it all on his marriage problems and the large amount of alcohol he’d been drinking. If his marriage hadn’t been fake, then he wouldn’t be feeling like this now. But it didn’t stop Nick from questioning himself for the first time.