Both Nick and Katie had to admit that a homecooked meal was amazing. It just tasted different than the things that were made for them.

There was a bit of silence around the table, and it was a bit awkward to all of them.
Katie was the one that broke the silence, as she took a sip of the expensive red wine before looking over at Julian with a big smile on her lips.

‘’So, Julian,’’ she began as she leaned back in her chair a little. ‘’how can it be that you live in that little house alone?’’

Julian smiled at her and straightened up a little. ‘’I just love the quiet when I’m working,’’ he said before sipping his wine, ‘’besides, it’s nice being able to focus on no one else but myself.’’ Nick smiled at that. He would love to know that feeling too. He was never alone. Either he was surrounded by his coworkers or he was at home with Katie. Nick actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d been alone for more than a couple of hours.

‘’So you didn’t want to bring a girlfriend out here?’’ She said without ever taking her eyes off him. Nick shook his head as the jealousy began boiling up inside of him. He knew why she was asking that question… she wanted Julian. He could see that the thought of the young man with another woman was making her jealous too, but she hid it behind her bright smile.

‘’And why is that?’’ She asked while playing with a lock of her hair. She was biting her lip a little while looking Julian up and down. Her eyes settled on the young man’s soft lips and blushed a little. Nick couldn’t care less about her flirting with other men, but he did not like the fact that she did it with Julian.

‘’Stop it, Katie. Just let the poor guy eat.’’ He shook his head, but Katie wasn’t done.

‘’Oh be quiet,’’ she mumbled to him, before turning her attention back to Julian. ‘’A beautiful young man like you must be surrounded by ladies.’’ She winked at him, and Nick felt like he was about to explode.

Julian cleared his throat a little and looked at her with a cheeky smile that broke Nick’s heart a little. Julian wasn’t supposed to smile at her like that… he was supposed to do it to Nick.

‘’That doesn’t really interest me,’’ Julian said as he crossed his arms over his chest. The young man looked between them, and Nick could see that he was unsure of what to say next. Julian took a deep breath and continued; ‘’I’m not exactly interested in women.’’ He finished, and silence spread across the table. Nick’s mouth went slack as a sense of relief washed over him. Julian looked like he expected them to kick him out after coming out, but they weren’t like that.

Katie cleared her throat. The smile was gone from her lips and she sighed before sipping her wine. It must’ve been disappointing to her, but Nick didn’t care. Julian was not hers.

It took her a few seconds to collect herself a little. ‘’So, you saying that you are…’’ she couldn’t finish the sentence, but she looked at him with big eyes.

‘’Gay?’’ Julian finished. ‘’Yes, I’m gay.’’

‘’Oh well,’’ she said before shaking her head, and then the bright smile was back on her lips. Nick expected it to look fake, but it didn’t. ‘’When did you come out?’’ she asked.

‘’When I was around fifteen. I think I always knew that I was gay, but it wasn’t until then I was absolutely sure.’’ Julian said with a little shrug. Something in the young man’s expression changed, and Nick’s instincts told him to pull Julian close and hold him because he clearly needed it.

‘’How did your family react to that?’’ Nick asked.

‘’Not well,’’ he started as he met Nick’s eyes. ‘’I was kicked out on my eighteenth birthday because of it. My family tried to put me through conversion therapy and to beat it out of me, but of course, that wasn’t working. When I came home on my birthday, all my things had been packed up and placed on the porch and I haven’t been allowed inside the house ever since.’’

Both Nick and Katie were stunned. Nick couldn’t imagine what it must’ve felt like for such a young boy to lose his whole family over something as innocent as his sexuality, and he couldn’t understand what their problem was. Julian was just Julian, no matter who he would fall in love with… it just shouldn’t matter. Julian’s gaze was on the plate in front of him, and he was biting his lip a little nervously while playing with his food. Nick’s heart ached for him.

‘’How the hell could they do that to you?’’ Katie almost yelled as she leaned over the table and laid a careful hand on top of Julian’s. ‘’I’m so sorry that it happened to you. No parents should treat their children that way.’’

Julian shrugged. ‘’It’s probably for the best. They were extremely religious and believed that homosexuality was the work of the devil,’’ he laughed a little ironically without looking up. ‘’I’m better off without them.’’ He looked up and met Nick’s eyes for the first time, and a little smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. Nick wanted to lean over the table and touch him, but he stopped himself. He didn’t know what to say… nothing he could say would make it better.

‘’Well, fuck them then.’’ Katie said, and Nick was surprised to hear her curse. ‘’so, you don’t have any girlfriend… how about a boyfriend?’’ Nick looked at him with big eyes and Julian blushed a little.

‘’There is someone… but I don’t think he’s interested in anything,’’ Julian said quietly, and once again Nick’s jealousy was out of control, but he bit it down and hid it behind a little smile.

‘’You are a sweet and charming young man… if he doesn’t like you, then it’s his loss. You’ll find someone one day,’’ she leaned back in her chair again and winked at him. ‘’I’m sure of it.’’

Katie looked at Julian as if she was ready to adopt him, just to make sure that no one would be able to hurt him again. He deserved to feel loved and appreciated as much as everyone else. Though she was obviously disappointed that Julian wasn’t interested in her, it didn’t matter to her. She wanted to make sure that Julian felt welcome and safe, so she spent the rest of the dinner focusing on him. She tried to talk to him about hair, designer clothes, and makeup, but Julian didn’t know anything about that.

‘’Just look at me… I have no fashion sense,’’ he said with a laugh as he gestured towards his clothes. She tried to convince him to go on a shopping spree with her, but Julian kindly declined. It took her a while to give up on the shopping idea… instead, she decided to find the perfect match for him. She asked him about his dream boyfriend, how did he look? What color should his eyes be? How old was too old? Nick shook his head as the questions rained down over the poor guy at the end of the table, but Julian just answered politely. She asked him if he wanted her to find the perfect date for him, but he didn’t want that. After almost an hour of interrogation, Julian was getting tired of it, but Katie didn’t stop.

‘’Would you stop it!’’ Nick finally said. ‘’Give him a break. You’re making him uncomfortable with those questions.’’ He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Her questions were stressing him out too, so he could only imagine how Julian must’ve felt.

Katie’s expression went from happy to insulted within seconds, but Nick honestly didn’t care. The silence around the table got awkward, so Julian tried to get a conversation going again. It wasn’t easy at first, but Katie couldn’t help but soften up to him after a little while.

Katie began clearing the table as soon as they were done eating, so Nick and Julian stood up and leaned against the railing, and looked down at the lake. Both of them rested their hands on the railing, and Nick would only have to move a millimeter to actually touch him.

‘’It’s very beautiful,’’ Julian said as he took in a deep breath. And it was. The sun was setting, covering everything around them in a soft pink nuance. Julian moved his hand a little closer, and as Nick felt his skin touch Julian’s his heart stopped for a second. It was the lightest of touches, and it wasn’t enough. Julian looked down and their hands before their eyes met, and a little cheeky smile crept over his lips. Nick didn’t look away from those beautiful brown eyes, as he laid his hand gently on top of Julian’s. They didn’t talk and they didn’t move… Nick barely breathed at all, but when they heard Katie’s stilettoes creeping closer they pulled away from each other.

Julian looked torn, and Nick could see the frustration in his eyes. He looked over his shoulder at Katie, who took the last few plates off the table before walking inside again.

‘’This is not a good idea,’’ Julian sighed as he stepped further away from Nick, who just stared at him with big eyes. ‘’I have to go… but thank you for the nice dinner,’’ Julian said as he basically ran back into the house and out the front door. Nick just stood there and stared at the spot where Julian had been standing a few seconds ago.

‘’Why did he leave already?’’ Katie asked as she walked out onto the balcony. She laid a hand on Nick’s shoulder, but he moved away from her.

‘’He was just tired.’’ That was all he said, and Katie Just nodded. 

Nick was sitting alone, staring down at the lake. He wanted so desperately to go after Julian. To apologize to him for overstepping his boundaries the way he did. He shouldn’t have touched him like that. It had made the young man feel awkward.

Everything around him was silent, and it was driving him crazy. He wanted a distraction. He wanted to think about something else than Julian, but there was nothing to disturb his mind from racing. He didn’t know what he wanted from Julian or what he’d expected him to do… Nick wasn’t into men, but he wanted something more than what he was given, even though it wouldn’t work out. The little spark between them was just that… a spark. Nothing more. Nick had been relieved when Julian told them that he was gay, and Nick convinced himself that he was feeling that way because it meant that nothing would happen between Julian and Katie.

After a while, he spotted Julian down at the lake. The young man sat down close to the shore, pulled his knees up under his chin, and rested his head on them. He looked so alone and so fragile down there, and Nick wanted to make sure that he was okay.

Without thinking, Nick put on his shoes and left the house. It didn’t take him long to reach the lake, and he stood in the distance and looked and Julian’s small silhouette for a while. Julian hadn’t noticed his approach. He was too busy staring into the thin air to notice anything around him.

Nick stepped closer to him and cleared his throat which caught Julian’s attention.

‘’Hey,’’ Julian said with a little halfhearted smile.

‘’Hey,’’ Nick mumbled as he sat down next to him. ‘’Are you okay?’’ Nick wanted to reach and wrap an arm around his shoulder, but he held himself back.

‘’I’m fine,’’ Julian said with a little shrug. ‘’I just needed some air.’’

‘’Was Katie’s interrogation too much?’’ Nick asked, even though he already knew the answer.

‘’No, it’s fine… I just-‘’ Julian sighed and looked down at his hands. ‘’Is it nice to be happy?’’

‘’Happy?’’ Nick repeated as he cocked his head a little.

‘’Yes,’’ Julian said. He straightened up a little and looked at Nick. ‘’You have Katie… you have your own business, you have money… aren’t you happy?’’ Nick couldn’t hold a laugh back.

‘’We’re not happy,’’ he said quietly, ‘’we’re just pretending… our ‘so-called’ relationship is good for the company, it’s not real.’’ He said honestly. He didn’t know why he felt the need to tell Julian the truth, but he couldn’t stop it.

‘’So your image is more important than your happiness?’’ Julian asked skeptically. He sounded almost accusing, but Nick didn’t mind. Someone like him wouldn’t understand it.

‘’Yes, for us it is,’’ Nick said as he began digging his fingers into the warm sand. ‘’You won’t get far in life if you aren’t willing to sacrifice something for it.’’ Julian shook his head.

‘’So you’re sacrificing love for money?’’ He asked, looking horrified.

‘’You won’t understand… but it’s just the way it is,’’ Nick said with a little shrug. It shouldn’t be like that, but he’d gotten used to the idea of a life without true love… he was too busy for it anyway.

He laid down on the ground and Julian did the same. Nick could feel the warmth of Julian’s skin against his own, so he turned his head and looked at the young man next to him. Julian could feel that he was being watched, so he turned his head, and everything around them disappeared as their eyes met. Nick turned to his side so he was facing Julian, and Julian did the same. They couldn’t look away from each other. Julian’s expression turned serious as he leaned closer to him. Nick could feel his breath against his lips and it was making him nervous. He felt the young man sigh before he pressed his lips against Nick's.
Time stopped and Nick went rigid. He couldn't move and he couldn’t think. It felt both wrong and right at the same time, and he couldn’t deal with it.

He pushed Julian away hard and stood up. ‘’What the hell are you doing?’’ Nick yelled at him as he brushed off his clothes. Julian just looked at him, confused. ‘’Don’t fucking touch me again!’’ The hurt in Julian’s eyes broke his heart and he regretted opening his mouth. He had wanted it too, so it wasn’t fair to take it all out on Julian, but the young man didn’t give him a chance to apologize before he got up and ran away, leaving Nick behind to stare after him.