I hold a hair tie in my mouth and pull my hair back into a messy bun and tie it. “We have to go, I have a shift at my job, I start here in the next hour.” I started walking out of the room, when he pressed me up against the wall.
“I don’t think it’s safe for you to go yet. Your heat just ended, you should take a day off, I can pay you for the day.”
“No. It’s already hard explaining my condition. I already have to explain it to my boss. They’re not wolves, so they don’t know.”
“Wait- what do you mean they’re not wolves? How are you allowed to work there?”
“I can answer in the car, can we please just go?”He sighed.
“Fine.” He left first. I followed shortly behind. He had a nice car, a big suv. I climbed into the front seat.
He started the car. “Now. Please speak.”
“I don’t have a great relationship with my pack. As you saw. Something happened with my parents so we’ve always been cast aside. I don’t know what they did nor do I care. My grandparents raised me. My grandpa got sick when my grandmother died, about 5 years ago. When their inheritance was running low I figured out I had to get a couple of jobs. With bad tension with the pack it made more sense to get a job with humans who would treat me fairly. I don’t shift, so the only thing I need to worry about is my heat.” He was quiet. I looked out the window. Watching the trees go by. He lived out in the middle of nowhere. There was just road and trees.
“You said you work with humans. Why did you choose to work there? There are things packs must provide, even in the littlest of ways. Jobs would be something that they would need to survive.”
“I mean, ya they had jobs I could apply for, but think of my situation. You saw what it was like for me at school, imagine me working at one of those places. For things like suppressants, the alpha doesn’t see a reason to supply them for me because he thinks if someone gets me pregnant at least I’ll have some use for me.” He clenched his fists around the wheel. I was uncomfortable.
I got used to my situation. I know it’s not right, but what could I do, I can’t leave grandpa. I didn’t want to sit there and lie. I promised I would be truthful. I wanted to save my passes for things I really didn’t want to answer, Why pass on something that’s easy to see.
“Why are you still at school, why not just get a full time job?”
“I would’ve dropped out of school. Our alpha is the principal, which I’m sure you knew. He makes it a rule everyone needs to pass high school to remain in the pack. This is my 3rd repeat year of high school. With jobs a lot of times I’ll sleep in class. I skipped a couple of grades when I was younger. Classes that require a lot of class participation get failed.”
“Why don’t you leave the pack and find a new one? There are plenty of packs who wouldn’t care that you’re a male omega.”
“I can’t leave my grandpa. He’s all I have. If I lose him I have nothing. I would die the second I lose him.” I finally started to notice things that looked familiar.
“Wait- did you just- Have you always had a house right outside of town?”
“Nope. I just bought it. I needed to be close to you.” He smiled.
“You’re so irresponsible. Wasting resources for something you don’t need. Why not put that money towards something you actually need?” He chuckled.
“Where am I headed?”
“Well Saturdays I work in a bakery all day. So if you don’t mind please take me there. It’s in the middle of town.”
“Is that the only place you work?”
“No, I work at the bakery, then I always work night shifts at the diner. I used to work evenings into the night at the club, but I had to quit.”
“Why?”
“Pass!” I said it louder than I should’ve. “Shit. Sorry. I just would rather not talk about it. I’m sure I would get into a lot of trouble with my alpha if I told another alpha about…” I trailed off. I needed to be careful if I wasn’t I’m sure they would punish not just me but gramps too.
The more I think about this situation. The more I realize I need to get away from him. I can’t take away what I said, and I try not to lie,but maybe I should. It didn’t occur to me the situation I was in. I was already with the guest alpha who they wanted to make a good impression on. I’m sure I did nothing but the opposite.
He parks in one of the empty spots up front. I quickly jumped out of his car.
“When are you off work?”I sigh.
“Look. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved with one another. I appreciate-”
“No.”
“I’m sorry?” He grabbed my arms and pulled me close to him.
“You should be. You’re trying to push me away and I’m not going to let you. I already told you. You’re my mate.”
“Dude- you’re crazy. You have the ability to be with someone worth your time. Thanks for everything, but for your sake I hope this is the last time we see one another.” I pulled my arm from his grasp and marched into work. What I said was true. Nothing good is going to come out of being with me.
“You sure took your sweet time. I was supposed to be off by now.” She chucked her apron at me.
“Sorry.” I’m quickly reminded of my worth when I’m here. Even though I was close with the people at my other jobs. This one reminded me of being in the pack.
Since this was near the dead center of the town, there were a few wolves that worked here. Which is why I was treated like crap.
I’m left to deal with the rush by myself, since no one wants to work with me. The day goes by as quickly as it can.
The next shift is a girl who just doesn’t want to get associated with me. It’s understandable. If it wasn’t me it would probably be her. She politely nods her head at me.
I give a soft smile.
I head to the back. I would normally head to the club. Now I need to find another job that can replace that one. I walk along the edge of the road. First thing I can look in the paper. I head down to the diner. My truck was at home. It would be too long of a walk to get there. I would rather wait until I was done with my shift at the diner. If I was lucky I would be able to get a ride from someone there.
I shove my hands in the oversized jeans. I smelled just like him. When I think of him I think of how much he knows about me. I know almost nothing about him. I don’t even know his name. It’s better that way though. The more I distance myself the safer he’ll be. I kick a stone.
I think of grandma.
---
“One day you’ll meet someone who doesn’t care about the bad things. They’ll love you with all your flaws. When that time comes you need to let them in. You need to offer yourself to them. Mind, body, and soul. They’ll do the same.”
“Is that what happened when you met grandpa?” She blushed.
“Yes. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, but he wouldn’t stop. One day he didn’t come and I found myself worrying. It was that moment I realized I had already fallen head over heels.”
“Is it true you love him more than anyone in the world?”
“No. I love you most of all.”
---
I shake my head. I’m sorry gram, but I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore.
When you’ve lived in the world I have, you learn not to hope. It’s followed by major disappointment. I sigh. The sun was going down faster than I had hoped. Even though I wore the oversized shirt, the wind was picking me up. I began to shiver. I wrap my arms around myself.
I wish things would go back to when I was a kid. Even though I was still an outcast I had a place to call home. Now my home is dark. Not enough money to pay the electricity bills. I’m the only one who comes home, because I’m the only one left.
I feel my eyes beginning to water, the hole in my chest widens, and the weight of the world begins to cave me in. I clutched my chest as the pain worsened.
My legs begin to feel weak. I fall on my knees. I want to be strong. I want to be better, but I’m not like everyone else.
It hurts. A low growl brought me to reality. I manage to look up. The black wolf. He kept his distance. He seemed familiar but I didn’t know him. I had seen him before in his wolf form. I know I did, but it wasn’t the alpha I knew. They were similar though.
I flopped on the ground and laid on my back. I really just don't care anymore. My breathing was still interrupted from leftover sobs. I covered my eyes with my arm.
I felt something nudge me. I ignored it and continued to lay there. I felt a soft tug on my arm. I opened my eyes. The wolf tugged on my sleeve.
Whoever he was, he was trying to get me to follow him. He could’ve dragged me if he wanted, but he was being nice.
I sigh and follow him. He nods his head towards his back. He wanted me to get on.
“Really?”
He nodded. I climb on his back gripping the strange wolf's fur. He was warm, and incredibly soft. There was something that told me I could trust him. I don’t know why I was doing something so stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself. The wolf began to run. I burrowed my face into the back of his neck. He smelled nice. Like safety and warmth.
He finally stopped. I didn’t want to let go. A soft bark made me look up. I couldn’t stop the gasp that fell from my lips. Where was I?
A wide meadow with a beautiful spring in the middle. Even though the moon was still small it was still bright. Reflecting in the water, the stars surrounded it. I slowly got off his back and moved to his side taking in everything.
He nudged me with his nose. I moved forward hesitant, but completely hypnotized by the beauty. I only managed to stumble a couple of steps forward.
Impatient, the wolf pushed me forward, until we were at the spring. He pushed me harder than he intended and I stumbled in. The water snapped me out of my trance.
The wolf seemed to laugh at me.
“Oh you think it’s funny do you?” I splashed him with water. He moved into a playful stance. We splashed each other with water until we were both drenched. He shook out his fur and I was stuck with dripping wet clothes. I pulled my hair out of its knot and let it fall. I twisted it allowing all of the extra water to drip out. I did the best I could to wring out my clothes.
I layed next to the wolf. “Thank you. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen me going through some rough patches. This is the first time I’ve had fun in a while.” Even though I was cold when moved closer to the wolf I could feel his warmth.
Even though I was with this complete stranger, a piece of me felt like I knew him. Something told me I could trust him, he wouldn’t hurt me.
It was the first time I hadn’t felt so alone.
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