For some reason, I’m rather calm today. No idea why, I just haven’t been as bad as usual, which is a bit weird.

It’s not like there are days where I’m not calm, it’s just unnatural for it to be like this for almost the entire day.

“How has your week been so far?”

I was kind of startled by the voice, I forgot that I’m with Vivienne for a second.

“It’s been pretty good, I guess. I’ve been handling myself well for a bit and my stress hasn’t been so bad for a few days. So I’ve been feeling calmer than usual.”

“Oh great! That’s good then. How has the medication been going so far then?”

Oh shit, I haven’t been thinking about that. I hardly do anything so why was I so distracted?

“I, uh.. Actually forgot to take it for a bit. I mean, I haven’t done that completely, but I think I’ve only taken about three in the past five days.. Sorry about that.”

Her face was neutral for a second, but surprised? I’m not able to tell.

“No, no. That’s good! Really good, it just caught me off guard. I wouldn’t suggest you all together stop taking it immediately, but that is what we’re aiming for.”

Right. Eventually, I’m going to have to stop taking my medication. I know that I’m dependent on it, and that if I stay like this then there’s a high chance I’ll become like ‘that’ again. I don’t want to turn into that person again. Even though I’m probably even worse now.

“Right, so you mentioned that your week has been good? Tell me about it, I’m curious.”

“Hm, well.. On Saturday I couldn’t sleep so I went outside to take pictures. And I really liked how some of them turned out, for once. But I got kind of wet.”

“Saturday? What time was it?”

“Um, maybe 5am?”

“August, it was raining the entire day and night, how the hell have you not gotten sick?!”

“Well, I said I only got a little damp.”

After I said that, she sighed and chuckled. Then drank some of her coffee and made eye contact with me again.

“Well, all right then. I’m glad that you were proud of your pictures.”

I returned her smile, “Yeah, I am too.”

. . .

Today has been a good day, too good. I’m not supposed to have this much good luck, is there something wrong that I’m not aware of?

It’s been a while since I’ve had good luck for so long, something has to happen. This is too unnatural.

I was drinking out of a juice box that I chucked in my bag before I left my apartment this morning, while on my phone and walking on the sidewalk. I’m in a rather quiet area, I don’t really need to worry about people or cars right now.

Like always, there’s no messages. Just notifications. But surprisingly, I got some likes. Cool, I guess. It’d been a hot minute since I last uploaded a photograph, so I decided to upload some of my recent ones the other day. People actually still like my shit, sure is surprising.

I put my phone back into my pocket and continued to drink from my juice box while walking. I was minding my own business before the hair in front of my face decided to stab my right eye. Hurt like a bitch.

Is this what I get for always having my hair in front of my face? Even if it is, like hell I’m going to stop. Moving it out of my face defeats the whole purpose of hiding it.

That reminds me, I have work again this week. Wonders. It’s not bad I suppose, but why the hell is an ice-cream shop even open during Winter? Well, there are people like that, weird.

I finished drinking and threw the juice box into the nearest bin I could find.

I should be heading home now, even though there’s nothing to do. Gosh I really need to keep myself occupied at home, I’ll probably lose my sanity one day.

Something made me shiver, but it wasn’t from the coldness of the air.

Seriously, I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. Then again, trusting my gut feeling never really works out for me either.

It could be nothing, it’s not like I haven't thought like this before and been wrong. Hell, I really need to stop thinking about shit like this. And I’m probably overthinking it. But..

Should I be skeptical or not?