The door slammed shut and I was finally able to take a deep breath again. I bit my lip out of frustration and tried to think of what I’d say when he came back. No matter what, I needed to apologize the next time I got a chance.

I exhaled as I went to find something for breakfast. When I went to the fridge I noticed a plate of sausages, eggs, roasted tomatoes, and hashbrowns. It was sitting on the counter next to the fridge along with a note. It read, “Warm in the microwave for 1 minute, and please don’t use the stove while I’m gone. Have leftovers for lunch.”

I warmed up the food and sat down to eat it. It was sweet of him to have made me breakfast despite still being angry at me. He was such a nice person and had taken care of me since I arrived despite us not knowing one another well. Everything was great and to be honest I started to not only like someone but make a friend after years of being lonely. Why did I have to fuck that up? 

Even though I was hungry, I couldn’t finish the food as the sickening feeling of guilt ate at me when there was nearly half of the food left on the plate. Standing up, I went to put my food into the fridge. Before I was about to close it, I saw the basket of berries and an idea hit me. Maybe instead of verbally apologizing I could make the jam for him with an apology note. At least then he’d know that I really wanted to talk things out.

I began grabbing what I assumed I would need. My father was never all that good in the kitchen when I was a child, but we both enjoyed watching lots of baking shows. I slightly remembered how to make jam and hoped that everything would work out as I went. I went to get a pot from the cabinet then put it on the stove. 

Liam had told me not to use it while he was gone but luckily it seemed that most of the fixtures in the house beside the t.v. and perhaps lights were retro and nothing too modern. I turned on the gas stove with ease and added a few cups of water into it.

Then, I set to wash the berries. Hopefully, my plan would succeed. I wasn’t sure what else I’d do if it didn’t. Even though I desperately wanted there to be an explanation for what he said, and I wanted to trust him with all my heart; I couldn’t help but feel anxious that perhaps I’d be sent back. Especially after how I treated him, what if he changed his mind and decided he would make me leave?

I tried to remember breathing exercises I was taught as a child and placed the berries into the water. When I was 14 rooming with the hybrids in my age group, there were many times I had to control my anger. Being young, I was more than happy to beat them up, but I always lost and was always the only one to be punished. As I got older, I became less anger-fueled and more impacted by my anxiety. That just gave the other boys another reason to bully me. 

I stirred the berries up and found a large spoon to try and smash them with as I didn’t see a masher. When it was finished I scrambled around the kitchen trying to get a cheesecloth. Luckily, I found one and received a bowl from the cupboards. Draining the liquid through the cloth was simply and I set the rest of the substance to the side. Then I added some lemon juice and lots of sugar to the mix. I poured the liquid back into the pot on the stove and mixed the gelatin powder in. I let it boil while stirring for another 15 minutes and took it off the stove when it was done. There were a few jars in one of the cupboards so I grabbed them and poured the jelly into all 3 of them. After tightly closing the lid and cleaning up, I set them in the refrigerator. Hopefully, Liam would be as proud as I was of me since I managed to make it on my own.

I double-checked that I turned off the stove before going to find a piece of paper. After running around for minutes, I couldn’t seem to find any and I gave up. He may not have even owned any physical writing utilities since almost everything was done electronically nowadays.

Sitting down on the couch I came to terms with the fact that writing a note was stupid, to begin with, and was only an idea I considered because I was more than terrified to talk to him face to face. After convincing myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, I went to take a shower and get dressed. It was colder than morning than usual so I tugged on a large sweatshirt and some jeans. 

As I was stretching my tail through the hole I heard the door open. I caught a whiff of Liam and began going downstairs. I was going to apologize and get everything set straight. Whether he accepted or not was up to him but at least I’d know I did everything in my power to make up with him.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and nearly lost my footing by what I saw. Standing in the entrance were two men dressed in all black suits. The same suits the people who brought me wore. I made a complete 180 and ran back up the stairs and into my bedroom. Liam called my name and asked for me to come downstairs but I had already locked the room door behind me. I thought he wouldn’t send me back? But...but why else would those men be there? Liam probably had some sort of explanation, but no matter how hard I tried rationalizing with myself I went into a state of panic.

I slid against the door as I began to uncontrollably hyperventilate. “Nickel,” I heard Liam say against the door. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, trying to take in a breath of air. “I… I didn’t me..mean to say… what I di...did. I was being a di..dick,'' I took a moment to try and calm myself. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed and I could feel my claws digging into my arms by how tight I was holding them. “Nickel, open the door.”

I didn’t even flinch when I heard his voice. I closed my eyes and buried my head in between my knees and tried to get out a coherent sentence. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you when you said there was a misunderstanding.” I let out a shaky breath and got the courage to continue. “I should’ve had more faith in you, I know. Please...please don’t send me back.” Tears welled in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. “I like you,” I sniffed, “ I like you so much. Please don’t make me leave.” There was an audible sigh on the other end. “Kitten…,” he said gently. “I need you to open the door.” I tried to see if I could smell out whether or not the other men were also behind the door but I didn’t think they were. It was just Liam.

Liam stepped in and closed the door behind him, locking it as it once was. Without looking at him, I went and sat on the bed with my tail between my legs from nervousness. “I’m sorry,” I said when he sat down. “You already apologized. No point in repeating it.”

“Well,” I said, turning to him, “what’s your response?” He moved closer to me and cupped my face with his large hands. He brushed away the stray tears that fell using his thumbs. “I forgive you.” I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders and I could no longer hold back the tears. He pressed my head against his chest and held it there. I tried to keep my sniffling to a minimum but that proved difficult. “I understand why you acted the way you did, by the way, though I'm not trying to excuse your actions in any way.”  He caressed my head and moved his hands through my hair. I felt bad that I was wetting his sweater but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Just in case it wasn’t already made clear I’m not sending you back. If you’d like to go you can though. It’s not like you’re a hostage here.” I nodded against his chest, completely letting myself relax from what he said. I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat. “What were you going to tell me before?” I questioned. He gently scratched behind my ear. 

“I was trying to explain that I lied to that man who was here before. I wanted your chip to be removed, so you can feel that you’ve completely left that place behind. Also if you ever chose to move I’d like for the government to be unaware,” he explained. “What about the men downstairs?” I asked. “They’re here to discuss the procedure so we can both be aware of the risks. They also need to test you and make sure you aren’t allergic to any of the medication they intend on administering to you.”

“Oh, ok,” I whispered. It was then that I was slightly panicked, realizing our position. I was placing most of my body weight onto him, not to mention how intimate we were being. “Um,” I began sitting up, “I’m sure I’m heavy, and shouldn’t we go downstairs now?” Liam looked at me with a tilted head. “You’re well built but not that heavy and they can wait a little longer.” He wrapped his arms around me and I felt butterflies forming in my stomach. “Is this ok with you?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if I was overstepping my boundaries with you.” I shook my head no. “I like this. It’s only a little embarrassing when I start overthinking.”

I snuggled closer and he moved into a lying position on the bed to allow me to relax onto his chest more.

We stayed like that for another minute or so before Liam broke the silence. “I like you too,” he said, in response to my confession earlier. I blushed and propped myself up to look at him. “Really?” He nodded his head and sat up with me in between his legs. “Really,” he reassured. I looked up at him and gave a genuine smile.

“Have you calmed down?” he questioned. “Yeah.” I stood up and Liam did the same. “Let’s go then. They might want to take blood tests so if you’re afraid of needles you can hold my hand if you’d like," he grinned. “I’m not a child but I appreciate the offer.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he unlocked the door. Then we made our way downstairs. 

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