Eric couldn't sleep. Between his own personal problems and the great responsibility of being the photographer in charge of the photoshoot that he would have with a renowned personality in the journalistic world, he had developed a bit of nervous stress. The medications he was taking to stabilize his omega recessive condition were taking longer to work because of that. He didn't want a problem to arise that would show that he was not a beta, but a recessive omega. That’s why he decided to calm down.
Although being omega wasn't a bad thing, he still hesitated to reveal it. He was afraid that they would see him as a failure of nature, a freak. In this modern era the people’s minds were more open, but he didn’t doubt that there was one or another person with a conservative mind who thought that he was something that shouldn’t exist.
He was afraid of rejection. Being a homosexual beta was already a problem that he was carrying since he was a teenager. Now, although being omega already gave him the peace of mind of being able to live his sexuality without prejudice, the truth is that he feared that beyond rejection, they would see him as many alphas and even betas saw omegas: a sex toy. He greatly admired Chris. He was omega, but he wasn’t intimidated by anything or anyone. He had even trained his body to gain some muscle and be able to fight. People admired him too. But it’s easier to have admiration for a dominant omega who is capable of having everyone at his feet if he wishes so, than for a recessive omega who found it difficult to have confidence in himself.
He’s not Chris. He is not strong or determined, he’s not dominant. He can't have everyone at his feet. Chris, even if he is not the typical small and delicate omega, has the knack of fitting in wherever he goes. He can have the alpha he wants.
Eric felt that his luck was too much for having the privilege of having Chris fall in love with him. He couldn't waste such an opportunity and that's why he decided to start dating him. He thought that in time he would fall in love, but, after almost six years, he could never feel the same as him.
He knew lying to him was horrible. But he thought that lie was partially forgiven if he stayed by his side. He even accepted his marriage proposal. But he didn't count on him ending up becoming an omega as well. And then Chris sleeping with an alpha at his bachelor party… Although what Chris did was not something that could be overlooked, he couldn't complain. How could he blame him for his infidelity when their relationship was fueled by lies? He couldn't even get angry. In fact, when he found out, beyond surprise, he was relieved. He was no longer the only one who hurt.
In his bed, Eric gave up his intention of sleeping early. He wanted to get a good rest so he had all the energy for tomorrow, but things weren't going as planned. Instead, he picked up his phone and started browsing the internet. If he was going to stay up all night, he should at least do so by reading about the man he will photograph the next day.
Mark Kennedy. All the information on this man was merely professional. The only thing that was found on the internet about his personal life was that he was born and raised in Seattle, Washington. Later, he moved to New York City to study journalism at NYU.
That was the official information. But of course, there will always be unofficial information.
Like Mark Kennedy belonged to a fairly wealthy family from Seattle. It was rumored that he was the second son of one of the most important families in not only the city, but the state. Yet he was, in the eyes of many high-born alphas and omegas, a dominant alpha different from the rest. These words could have both positive and negative connotations depending on who thinks it. Positive in the words of liberals because he doesn’t follow the same scheme as the alphas. Negative in the words of conservatives because he was exposing them. He was a dominant alpha with a novel mentality, who in his journalistic works emphasized the importance of breaking with the superiority scheme of alphas. «Alpha, beta or omega is only a biological condition, not a social one. Throughout history we have understood that the value of each individual has nothing to do with their racial characteristics or whether they are male or female. Why regress now?».
Eric sighed after reading that fragment. He always thought that all alphas would be unreachable and with difficult personalities. But after reading the work of that man, after knowing his ideals and thoughts, he thought that maybe... just maybe, he would have a chance to be who he was without prejudice. Because if a dominant alpha with enough influence thought like that, he believed that maybe… there could be more like him.
He felt sorry to read that he was married. Not that he thought he would have a chance with a man like him, but after looking at the few photos of where his face appeared, he thought he was too handsome. Worthy of a dominant alpha, of course.
Suddenly he felt a great emotion. In less than a day he would be in front of that wonderful man, breathing his own air and sharing words.
If he had the privilege of being a dominant omega, or at least had more confidence in himself, of course he would go after him. But reality felt like a bucket of cold water. Much to his regret, those characteristics he lacked were what he envied about Chris. Maybe Riley was right. Perhaps in the depths of his being, he wanted, at least a little, to see him suffer. Not because he hated him, but because somehow he wanted him to feel what he felt all the time. Chris had the knack for having everything, but he settled for little. Anything Eric wanted, Chris could have in a snap. But Chris was simply rejecting the opportunities Eric longed for.
After admitting to himself a slight grudge towards Chris's nature, Eric was finally able to fall asleep.
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