Even though I’m with my family right now, I’m still thinking about my patients. “What if they need me and I'm not there?”. I’ve always been close to my patients. When its time to say goodbye, whether they are being discharged, transferred to another department, or when they pass away, its always heartbreaking for me. I didn’t think I’d worry about her during this time but I did. I wondered if she is eating well and staying hydrated. From here and there, I found out that she lives alone. She is well-known as the ‘pretty, positive girl’ at the hospital.
I tried to clear my mind and make it up to my parents because I haven't visited them in a long time.
We went picnic and had lunch and now we all are having dinner. “Why don’t you get married Min Joo? You are already of age.” Started my father. He is always like this when I come for visiting and this is one of the main reasons why I don’t tag along with them often anymore. I mean I’m not even in my 30s yet. My mother, on the other hand, wants me to be a womanizer. No, actually she thinks I am one already.
They always do this and that’s why I can’t wait for the sun to rise again so I can leave and go back home.
I moved in yesterday morning. I called the ‘4 U’ service and asked them for help. I bought a new mattress, a cupboard, and a new dressing table. I was thinking of buying a new couch but the security guard told informed me that I’m allowed to use all the furniture in the house and dishes in the kitchen as much as I’d love to.
This house is huge. There are 2 floors and 8 rooms in total. I just didn’t understand why a single person would live in a house this big. I mean it would be haunting if it were me.
Now I’m all set. I can see indirect sunlight from the window in my room. I moved in a couple of days ago but I haven’t met the owner yet. I hope he is a good person though. I’m heading downstairs for breakfast, I’m curious about the rooms there. “Mind your own business Shini” I’m trying to stop myself from being nosy. I’m making scrambled eggs with some sweet french toast. “Should I make more” I’m just trying to be thoughtful in case the owner comes back a little later. I mean it would be wise to do so right? I’ve never been lazy to cook so I didn’t mind making plenty of food.
Now that I’m eating with a peaceful mind, I’m trying to ponder how hard and unjust living is for me. I always dreamt about doing music and playing guitar for my career. I’ve always wished to be a successful artist but now I can’t even handle good news. I mean bad news can be trenchant but good news too? I always managed my life even though I’m a heart patient but now everything is getting worse and my life is becoming impossible. Ugh, I don’t like this.
The food is tasty though! I can’t stop looking at the room around the corner. I want to see what’s in there. I had to do the dishes first but before I started my mother called. “Shini, it’s been a few days since you got discharged, are you eating properly?” My parents are worried about me. My mother wanted to come to stay with me for a few weeks but unfortunately, my father had gotten in a car accident so my mother had to take care of him and his fractured leg. Wait. I just heard a thud from the room around the corner. “Gosh! I tried to stop myself from going in there. I should check at least.”
“Mom, I got to go. I’ll call you later. Look after dad and yourself. Love you.” I knocked on the door twice but nobody answered so I opened it and “Oh My God!” I can overlook what I’m seeing but I don’t want to. I feel a sudden cool breeze running through my bones. The unknown thirst that I feel at this moment is abrupt. I have goosebumps all over my body. I mean, his abs and cuts are too hard for me to ignore. He’s covered with a grey towel at the bottom and that color suits him real good. The water dripping from his hair to his jawline is too hot to handle. This is embarrassing. “Shinihay Bong, you need to get a grip of yourself”