tw: attempt on sexual assault, violence.

Like a lifeless vessel, I was numb. Ever since that, I went through day in day out without any will to live.

I couldn’t recall anything for the past few days after I realized Hera’s—Altair’s—betrayal. It was the hardest period in my life, I’ll be honest. It was a miracle that I survived.

Well, maybe not any longer.

Anyway, I’ve been telling you a long, long story of my life. I think I’ve gone too far from the point. I told you that I’d tell you how I ended up like this, right?

Well, the real story began here.

It was a dark night. I’m not sure how long since Hera left, though. I found myself meandering aimlessly all day, and somehow ended up in an alleyway with a dead end. I was cornered by a man, dead drunk. The smell of his breath pulled me back to reality.

He was the same man that tried to assault me back in another alley—at the festival day. He was howling at me about how ‘my friend’ had been ruining his life, how being beaten by a girl was such blow to him, about how much he seek revenge.

It was disgusting. The man was hideous. I can’t explain how disgusted and terrified I was. There was nowhere to escape—yet, of course, I didn’t want to accept my fate right there.

I was paralyzed in fear, my whole body shaking. He cornered me into the dead end, preying on me with his predating eyes. I hated it—hell, I hate it even now. The thoughts still make me shiver.

It was a traumatizing night for me. Even recalling the event is enough to make me want to throw up. Let’s just say, you know, this creepy guy—maybe he had stalked me, or maybe he found me by chance—cornered me, and... proceeded to touch me.

Okay—I’m being honest. My mind was cloudy then.

I struggled. He pushed me to the ground, weighing my body down. I felt really hopeless. Struggling didn’t achieve me freedom.

Then, as if sent by the heaven to me, I noticed an old rusty knife not far from us.

Now that I thought of it, maybe there were garbage all around us, but the knife stood out to me. My initial thought was I was doomed if he noticed the knife—my second thought was he didn’t notice the knife. He was dead drunk, after all.

So, with all my might, I kicked him in his balls and escaped his grips. I ran, took the knife, and pointed at him. “Don’t move!” I warned, pointing the knife at him. Though, if I think about it now, it must have been an empty threat. I was shaking head to toe, after all. I think that man realized it too, because he stormed at me.

What he didn’t realize was—I was serious as much as I was terrified.

So, when he pounced at me, I struck my rusty knife at him. Multiple times. Then, I lost my mind. I was crying as emotions overwhelmed me. As I was fighting for my life, I broke down.

By the time I came to my senses, I found the bloody man laying on the ground, unconscious. While I slumped next to him, rusty broken knife in hand, covered in blood.

And I cried a river. I cried until it was hard to breathe. I cried until I dried all my tears. I cried for so long it felt like eternity.

The worst part? I was thinking about how different it would be if Hera was here to save me.

Such a fool, wasn’t I?