(PAST)
Today was the day.
Cameron stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. Blood pounded in his ears. His heart felt like it was trying to escape from his chest. Hands shaking, he splashed his face with cold water.
“Come on, Cameron,” he muttered, “get it together. You’re just meeting Teo’s mum. No big deal.”
If only his mind and body believed that. When he looked at himself, all he could see was someone unworthy. A failure. He hadn’t felt it this strongly in a while. Dizzy, he stumbled out of the bathroom, smacking right into Rosa.
“Hey, careful where you’re-” Cameron slumped against her, struggling to breathe. “Cam. Cameron, look at me.” She lifted his head, eyes meeting. “Breathe with me.”
Through the panic, Cameron followed Rosa’s lead. He took several deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. With each exhale, the dread lessened.
“Been a while since I’ve seen you like that,” Rosa said, concerned.
“Sorry…”
“Cameron Doran, do not apologise.” She continued to hold him steady. Just in case. “Is this about meeting Teo’s mum?”
“Yeah.”
There was no point lying. Rosa would call him out. He really didn’t want Mateo’s mother to hate him. That would be painful. Mateo was his best friend; he couldn’t even imagine his life without that goofball now.
“Just be yourself and everything will be totally fine,” Rosa reassured.
Cameron nodded weakly. “That’s all I can do, right?”
“Exactly.” She patted him firmly on the shoulder. “Chin up, buttercup.”
Rosa’s pep talk did calm him down. For how long, he didn’t know. His dad used to be good at making everything feel less scary. Always knew what to do. What would he say now? Probably something similar.
“Thanks, Rosa.”
“Anytime.” She let him stand on his own two feet. “Now, go kick some butt.”
“Not sure if that’ll help.”
“Hey, you never know.”
Still feeling nervous, Cameron finished getting ready. The walk to Mateo’s house felt like an eternity left alone with his thoughts. He did his best to ignore them. Limited success. When he finally reached the front door, he stared at it. The point of no return. He reached out to knock, his hand shaking.
There was still time to turn back…
The door opened. Mateo stood there, facing lighting up. “You made it!” He checked his watch. “And only ten minutes late.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Cameron hadn’t even noticed the time. How long had he been standing here?
“Well,” Mateo held out his hand. A comforting smile, “aren’t you gonna come in?” When Cameron took it, Mateo gave a gentle squeeze. “Mamá’s dying to meet you.”
That did not help Cameron’s nerves. Expectations. For both their sakes, he hoped he’d live up to them. They stepped over the threshold. The house was much larger than his flat. Warm and inviting. Full of love and life. Mateo let go of his hand as they approached the kitchen. It took everything Cameron had to not grab that comforting hand again.
A woman stood by the countertops, busy making something. She turned at the sound of footsteps, greeting them with a warm smile.
“So, this is Cameron.” She stopped what she was doing. “Welcome, welcome.”
Mateo’s mother was taller than Cameron expected. Her son didn’t get those genes.
“Thank you, Mrs. Vargas.”
She shook her head, taking his hand in hers. “No, no. Please, call me Maya.”
“Okay, Mrs. Maya.”
Maya chuckled, patting the back of his hand. “I can see why my son likes you.”
Fighting back a blush, Cameron glanced at Mateo. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Mateo looked embarrassed. It lasted only a second; missed in the blink of an eye.
Maya motioned to the kitchen, table laden with homemade snacks. “I made some treats for you.”
“Ooh, churros!” Teo reached out, his hand gently swatted away. “Mijo, we have a guest. He should get to pick whatever he likes first.”
Pouting, Mateo crossed his arms. “Fine, we’ll take some stuff upstairs.”
“You have not changed at all.” Maya chuckled at his antics. “Glad I finally get to meet the fine young boy Teo’s been gushing about.”
“Mamá…”
“What?” Maya smiled, mischievous, “I only tell the truth.”
Mateo rolled his eyes. “Come on, Cam, let’s go to my room.”
Hastily, he grabbed a selection of the snacks and drinks, with Cameron’s help, and led them to his room.
“Why’re family so embarrassing?” Mateo asked, setting their bounty on his desk.
“No idea. Dad always was and Rosa’s walked in his footsteps.” Cameron followed his lead, looking around Mateo’s room. “Much cleaner than mine.”
“Well, yours does look like a bomb site sometimes. Mamá keeps a tight ship.”
Snacks secured, Cameron’s eyes fell on an old photo. A smiling man, posing with a trumpet.
“That’s my papá,” Mateo revealed when he noticed Cameron looking. “He’s no longer with us.”
Cameron instinctively put a hand on Mateo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s a shame he didn’t get to meet you.” Mateo put a hand over Cameron’s, keeping it in place. “He would’ve loved you. He was a musician, too.”
If only both their fathers were still here.
“I’m guessing he played the trumpet.”
“Whatever gave you that idea.” Mateo laughed, staring at the photo. “Yes, and he was very good from what I’ve heard. I’ll have to ask mamá for one of his old tapes for you.”
“I’d like that.” Since he met Mateo, Cameron’s love of music had gradually returned. “Have you ever tried?”
“Yes… with limited success. I guess musical talent isn’t all hereditary.” Mateo sat down on the bed. “Did your dad play guitar?”
“He played piano mostly.” Cameron joined Mateo at his prompting. “I think he could play a little on the guitar.”
“I’m guessing that’s where yours came from, right?”
“Yeah. For a while, I was playing on this cheap acoustic guitar.” Cameron smiled, remembering how quickly it went out of tune. “It was fine for a beginner, but nothing special.”
Mateo nodded. “And then you got an upgrade.”
“Sure did. Dad must’ve saved up for months.” Cameron felt a faint pang of guilt and sadness. “We, uh, didn’t have much money to spare. It’s all I really have left of him, now. Aside from a few pictures.”
Teo gently nudged his knee. “I’m sure he’d love to know that you were still playing.”
“I didn’t for a while.” Something Cameron regretted. “When our old flat lease ran out, about three months after dad… passed, me and Rosa traveled from town to town. Never settling for more than a few weeks.”
“Not exactly the easiest way to practice.”
“No. It also brought back too many memories.” Cameron’s shoulders slumped. “I couldn’t deal with it at the time.”
Neither he nor Rosa talked about their father’s death at first. It was a lot to process. As time passed, they got to a point where it wasn’t soul-crushing to mention him. Even now, it was still painful, though.
“You started playing again this past year or so, right?” Teo tilted his head, curious. “What changed?”
“When you first came to my house, I guess. I hadn’t even opened the case until then.” Now Cameron thought about it, so many things had changed since Teo burst his way into his life. “When I get better, I’ll write you a song.”
“Really? That’d be awesome!” Mateo’s smile was more mesmerising than ever, gaze intense. “I can’t wait.”
“Uh,” Cameron felt his heart race, cheeks heating up. “Where’s the bathroom?”
“Down the hall,” Mateo pointed out of the door, “second on the right.”
Rushing out of the room, Cameron found the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water. Deep breath in… and out.
“Get it together, Cam.” When he finally left the bathroom, Mateo’s mother climbed up the stairs. “Hello, Mrs. Vargas.”
“Cameron, please. Call me Maya.”
“Um, okay, Mrs. Maya.”
Maya chuckled. “Good enough.”
“Your house is really nice.” Cameron actually felt jealous.
“Thank you. I do try to keep it tidy.” Maya motioned wildly with her hands. “Not easy with my clan around, though.”
“Yeah, I know how messy our flat gets.” Cameron rubbed the back of his neck. “Even with just two of us.”
“Yes, that’s right. You live with your sister, don’t you?”
“Rosa.”
“Mmm, yes. That was the name.” Maya nodded sagely. “I hope you don’t cause her too much trouble.”
“I try not to.”
“Good boy.” Maya put a hand on his arm; Cameron could see why Mateo was so touchy-feely now. “I would love to meet her one day too. My Mateo has told me a little about her. She sounds lovely.”
“I’m sure she’d like that.” In fact, Cameron knew for a fact she would. Rosa was such a busybody.
“If you two are free next Saturday, around seven, I was planning a big feast.” Maya’s smile was as dazzling as Mateo’s. “I would love for you to come along.”
“I’ll ask her.”
“Perfect.” Maya clapped her hands. “Just let Teo know either way. The more, the merrier. Especially someone who has made my boy very happy.”
“Oh, I, uh,” Cameron stuttered and stumbled over his words, “didn’t do much…”
“Nonsense.” Maya waved her hand. “Every day, he comes home with a huge smile.”
“I’ve only ever known him to smile.” It was very strange to see him without one now.
“He has always been a cheerful young man, but these days, well, it is more often.”
That made Cameron’s heart sing. “He makes me smile a lot, too.”
“Good, good. I hope you make each other smile much more in the coming days.” Maya shuffled away, busying herself with her next task.
“Me too, Maya,” Cameron whispered, heading back to Mateo’s bedroom.
“I heard mamá’s voice,” Mateo said as Cameron returned. “Did she say anything weird?”
“No,” Cameron stifled a smile, “your embarrassing secrets are still safe.” He picked up a snack, chowing down. “Mmm, these are good.”
Mateo crossed his arms. “How come I don’t totally believe you right now?”
Cameron shrugged. “You’ll just have to trust me.”
Teo rolled his eyes, smiling. “Fine.”
Everything about Teo made Cameron feel so unbelievably happy. Maybe happier than he was willing to admit. Even to himself.
-----------------------
The gays are at it again.
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