The next day, I sat at the table in an empty house, trying to learn scientific principles while ignoring the oppressive silence. Basically, the same thing I do every day, except now it comes with the knowledge that the only person that really means anything to me in this place is currently in danger and I have no way of knowing if he’s alright.

I know Phoenix dying won’t be permanent, but that doesn’t give me much comfort. If anything, it makes it just that much worse that I could be left behind with no opportunity to see him again. Even Derek. He may be a pain in the ass, but if he dies from this he isn’t coming back. Damn it, now I’m even more worried.

I close my textbook and go put on my shoes to head out. I wasn’t going to get anything done at home anyways, besides having my head go around in circles until I start to feel physically nauseous. I make my way back to the rickety pile-of-sticks house which acts as headquarters, where Ellery lives. Otherwise known as the overly suspicious dumbass.

That was stupid. I’m off my game right now. I’ll think of something more clever when I’m not going out of my mind with worry.

When I arrive the place is practically a ghost town. There’s normally at least a few people hanging around the common room, trying to look busy while they’re actually just incredibly bored. However, today the only other person is the doorman, who is basically a permanent resident as he’s the only one who is actually supposed to be living here. Not like people keep track of that anymore, though.

I hang around with him for a few hours, playing card games and just trying to stay occupied in general. I just lose yet another hand of poker when the others start filing in, trying to be discreet about their numbers. I’m up from my chair in a flash, watching Derek come through the door while supporting a sickly looking guy. I don’t relax until I see Phoenix walking through with a few bumps and bruises, but alright for the most part.

The living room quickly becomes packed as everyone finds seats, some bringing them in from the kitchen and other rooms. Derek seats the man he’s propping up in an armchair, while Ellery remains standing in front of the fireplace. I make sure that I get a spot next to Phoenix, and we cram into an easy chair together.

I take a look around, but all I see are the people meant to go on the mission. Probably because no one else had the free time to hang out around here all day for no reason. I look back to where Ellery stands in front of the mantle as he tries to shush all the chattering mouths. People immediately start quieting in response, though I notice that the new guy isn’t too happy about Ellery leading the show. Plus he’s covered in injuries, though it’s difficult to tell at first.. I don’t even know how someone could get that many shallow cuts on them. He looks like he’s been through a wind tunnel. With shrapnel.

Ellery clears his throat and my gaze goes back to him as he starts speaking. “We’ve been able to locate and retrieve Lucifer the Sixth,” he indicates the man who looks like he did battle with a blender. “But our king is being held at another location. It is the prerogative of this group now to locate him and restore our government to…”

He continues talking, but I can’t be bothered to pay attention any longer. It’s clear that I’m not going to be involved with any of this, at least as long as Ellery has a say about it. Instead I study Phoenix out of the corner of my eye. There’s the remnants of a nosebleed, a small cut under his eye, and a few other small scratches along his arms, but he’s nowhere close to being in as bad shape as I feared. I can’t help the small sigh of relief that leaves me at that. I reach out next to me and put my hand in his. He glances at me before twining our fingers together, giving my hand a small squeeze. I’m smiling as I resume pretending to pay attention to Ellery’s drivel.

After his speech is over, he selects a few people to guard Lucifer for the night. Thankfully, Phoenix isn’t one of them. After that, everyone else is dismissed and I go home with Phoenix, still holding his hand. Derek follows along behind us and makes no attempts to catch up.

When we arrive, Derek heads straight to his room. I tug Phoenix over to the bathroom and start cleaning and bandaging his few injuries while checking him over for anything I missed in my original perusal. He hasn’t spoken a word this whole time, and he almost looks nervous.

“You’re not mad?” he finally asks.

“Huh? What would make you think that?”

“You seemed angry yesterday.”

Oh, I see what’s going on here. On second thought, not clarifying that I wasn’t mad at him seems kind of stupid now.

“I’m not mad. Not at you anyways. I never was. I was pissed that it took so long for me to find out about this.” Among other things. Though mentioning my anger at Ellery doesn’t seem like the best thing to do right about now.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your idea to begin with, so there’s no reason for you to.”

He seems surprised by that.

I let out a sigh. “Come on, it’s not that hard to figure out that the leader would have the final say in who knows what. You’ve been there longer than I have, but it still wasn’t enough to have that kind of influence.”

“And how’d you find that out?”

“I ask questions,” I say dismissively. “There, all done.”

I step back after doing one final lookover to make sure he doesn’t have any more scratches.

I turn away from him slightly, looking into the mirror. I don’t know what to say to fix this heavy atmosphere. Whenever it gets serious I clam up and I hate it.

Phoenix puts his hand on my cheek, turning my face so I’m looking right up at him. My cheeks start to flush, matching his as he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

I don’t even hesitate before jumping up and twining my arms around his neck, planting my lips on his. He catches me, holding me up with his hands on my thighs. I close my eyes and revel in the closeness. I don’t want to admit just how terrified I was that we’d lose each other, but I know he can feel it in how tightly I hold him. How I refuse to loosen my hold even after we part lips to breathe.

Something rises in me, an urge to say out loud all that I feel. About how much I care for his safety. To let him know just how much I care for him. But I don’t know if I can put myself out there like that.

So instead, we just stand there, holding each other in the bathroom, and it couldn’t have felt more perfect.

I can’t help it. I’ve fallen in love with him.