Julian couldn’t take his eyes of the beautiful man next to him, as they walked through the woods, hand in hand.

He’d never imagined that Nick was the type of person, who’d do anything sexual in public since he would barely take off his shirt unless he was home, but the older man was changing, and Julian knew that he was to blame for it. Blowjobs in public wasn’t exactly a new experience for Julian, but it had never felt so daring and hot as it did with Nick. He’d wanted nothing more than for Nick to just fuck him against that tree, but they weren’t ready for that yet. Maybe it would happen before their vacation ended, or maybe it wouldn’t. None of it really mattered to him, as long as he would have Nick by his side, he was perfectly happy.

Nick kept squeezing his hand as if to make sure that Julian was actually real, and Julian just leaned over and kissed his cheek gently every single time, just to ensure him, that all of this was as real as it could get.

Nick stopped after a while in front of a large old oak tree. He sighed before sitting down on the ground, crossed legged with his back against the tree. Julian studied him for just a second before sitting down next to him. He looked up at the treetops and sighed a little before closing his eyes.

Most of his life had been turbulent, and he’d never felt truly alive before… not until now. It was as if the past didn’t matter anymore. All of this was an empty page in a book he needed to fill out. His history up until this very summer was just that… history. Whatever was happening at this very moment was the only thing that mattered, even when this would one day be nothing but history as well. But Julian knew that this history would have a happy ending, and it would be a story about true love, about hope and dreams, and about finding yourself. He smiled a little to himself as he pulled his little black notebook out of his pocket together with a little worn pencil. The thoughts were flying wildly around in his mind, and he wrote it all down, even though most of it didn’t make much sense.

Nick was sitting by his side, looking down at the notebook with a smile on his lips.

‘’Writer’s brain?’’ he asked as he leaned over and kissed Julian’s naked shoulder.

Julian closed the notebook and began chewing on his pencil.

‘’Yes,’’ he said with a little shrug. ‘’I don’t think it’s something I can use for anything… I just like writing weird things down that comes to mind.’’

‘’I think you’ll find the use for it someday,’’ Nick said. He ran a hand over the softcover of Julian’s notebook. ‘’Do you ever go anywhere without it?’’ he asked. Julian shook his head. He never left his house without having his notebook and a pencil with him. He didn’t know why, but he just needed it. It was like an extension of himself. He’d always done it, ever since he was a child. It was just his thing. When other kids brought toys with them, Julian just had his little notebook and a pencil. He even did it before he learned how to write… back then he would just draw his stories. He didn’t need toys to keep him company. His many ideas and wild fantasy were company enough for him.

He’d written many stories throughout his life, but they were his personal stories, and it wasn’t something he wanted to share with the world. Those stories were only meant for him, and no one else. Or at least it had been like that until he met Nick. For some reason, he didn’t feel shy about sharing his work with him, and maybe one day he’d be able to share them with the rest of the world too.

‘’What did you mean with ‘the empty pages you had to fill’ part?’’ Nick asked quietly as he took Julian’s hand in his.

‘’I’m not sure I know that yet,’’ Julian answered. He took a deep breath and rested his head against Nick’s shoulder, and a little brush spread across his cheeks when Nick kissed the top of his head. He closed his eyes and relaxed against the older man, as he concentrated on taking in the musky scent of the man next to him and the fresh scent of the woods around them.

‘’You’re like an old soul caught in a young body,’’ Nick said after a while. Julian straightened up and looked at him questioning. ‘’There’s just so much more to you… than just you. I don’t know how to explain it, but it feels like you know more about the world than the rest of us. You see things differently, and you’re able to find beauty in everything.’’ Nick sighed as he shook his head a little. ‘’There’s just something special about you, Julian. And there’s no one quite like you.’’

Julian felt himself blush as he struggled to find the right words to say. Nick’s words meant the world to him, but he didn’t know just how to explain it.

‘’Why me, Nick?’’ Julian asked as he looked down at their joined hands. Asking that question made him nervous. He was so used to people only choosing him because of his looks, and he feared that Nick would say the same as they all did. ‘’because you’re hot!’’ he wanted to be more than just that. He wanted someone to choose him because of who he was and not what he looked like. He wanted someone to see him for what he really was. To see what’s hiding underneath his beautiful looks. Nick didn’t answer right away, and Julian regretted asking the question in the first place. He didn’t know what to do or how to react if Nick just commented on his looks, and though a big part of him knew that Nick wasn’t like that… not with everything he’d just said, he still feared it.

Nick lifted Julian’s hand up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to his wrist.

‘’Because you make me feel alive,’’ he whispered against his skin. Julian began trembling, and he wanted to throw himself at Nick and kiss him over and over again, but he held himself back.

‘’You don’t need me to make you feel alive,’’ Julian stated.

‘’Maybe not,’’ Nick shrugged. ‘’but it’s special with you. I feel things I’ve never felt before, and that’s all that matters to me.’’

Julian couldn’t hold his smile back. He wanted to tell Nick that he was feeling the exact same thing, but Nick cupped his face in his hands and pulled Julian into a kiss before he even had a chance of opening his mouth, and Julian knew at that very moment, that he would be able to love the older man next to him.

‘’When do you have to go back?’’ Julian mumbled as he straightened up and looked into Nick’s beautiful blue eyes. He didn’t want Nick to go back… he wanted him to stay, but he couldn’t, and Julian hated that.

‘’When it’s dinner time,’’ Nick said with a little shrug before kissing Julian’s cheek. ‘’besides… you’re coming with me.’’

‘’Wait… what?’’ Julian said shocked and Nick just laughed at him. ‘’I didn’t know you meant today!’’

‘’Do you have something better to do?’’ Nick asked as he winked at him.

‘’Well, no!’’ Julian said. ‘’It’ll be so awkward, Nick.’’

‘’I don’t care. I just want you by my side!’’ Nick said with a little smile, and it warmed Julian’s heart. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. It would be hard for him to keep his distance from Nick, and it would be difficult to hide his feelings away when he was sitting so close to the man he’d fallen in love with. One wrong look and it could ruin everything for them. He felt sorry for Katie. She was a nice woman, and she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to be lied to, and it was killing him to know that he was the reason her marriage could get destroyed.

He tried to tell Nick that it was a bad idea, but Nick wouldn’t listen.

‘’Having you by my side, even though I can’t kiss you or hold your hand is better than not having you there at all,’’ Nick said and kissed his lips, and Julian couldn’t find it in him to protest.