“My little sweetheart, my favourite granddaughter, come here and kiss me! Ohh; what have you been eating? You’re like a grown-up now! It’s so nice seeing you, and it must be so difficult too. No, let’s not talk about it, we’re here to enjoy, not to lament ourselves.”
- “Hi grandma! Yeah, it’s pretty nice seeing you. Don’t worry. It’s happening, we can’t just pretend it’s not there, I do completely assume that I’m becoming blind. Why me? I don’t know, but it’s me. So now it’s life, some people are just less lucky than others, however their chance will go on something else, when they’ll need it the most.”
I stop here, knowing that if I reveal too many things, my parents will suspect something.
- “Ohhh, Alex, what you said is just so beautiful, every single girl of your age wouldn’t be able to say this, I’m sure. Come in, I’ve prepared chocolate cookies and lemonade for you four. Wow, what a big handsome boy just before me, like your sister you’ve taken a few centimetres. Come kiss your grandma!”
- “Hey, thanks, it’s cool seeing you too. You must feel kind of lonely.”
- “Oh, yes surely. But not when my little darlings are here.”
Grandma lives alone since grandpa died, 2 years ago. He had a heart attack, and the time the ambulance arrived at the hospital it was too late. It was a shock for everyone. Grandma, always joyful stayed home and didn’t talk much. Dad, the son of grandpa, was mournful too. Mom, Adam and I tried to entertain him, going to the restaurant, seeing his favourite films… Grandpa was a handyman, if Adam or I needed something, he would build it, and he fixed everything. The three of us made a hut in the garden, which is still there, resisting against the bad weather, and standing as a souvenir.
The house is a typical secondary house, except it’s not a secondary house. Before, my grandparents had two houses, but with Grandpa’s death, grandma sold one, and kept the smallest, on the coast.
The water is a little hotter than at home, however it stays in the box ‘quite cold not sure I'm gonna have a bath’.
I think I’ve described this place even more than my own house. Oupsi, sorry… :)
When I said that my family was sad because of grandpa’s death (which is quite normal) well now with time… it doesn’t go away, it’s just covered with better moments, sheltering a wound that can be reopened at any time.
Everyone has wounds. Only, some show them, and others don’t.
I think wounds cannot disappear. They can be forgotten, by living the opposite of the thing that made the wound. For example, if someone you loved moved, well you were sad, crying… But if you saw that person again, then your wound would just go away for a moment, out of your thoughts. And, then if you went back in your memories, maybe seeing this separation would make it reappear.
That’s how it works for me, but for dead people it’s quite difficult, you can’t resuscitate them. You must have seen that the example I took is what is happening to me, or similar to it.
On the way to the beach, we stop at the supermarket to buy landing nets for us to fish. While Adam and grandma go to the sea section, I hang around in the store. I land in the decoration compartment. I love design and everything that has something to do with it. Suddenly, I see little frameworks with English quotes on them, and drawings such as palm trees, the sea, the sun, smileys, hearts… I love quotes too, and I take one or two to read them. Finally, I choose 1, which was my favourite. It says:
“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”
If one quote can represent me and all the blind people, it’s this one. Cause you will always see, even if your eyes are closed, even if you’re in the darkest place of the world.
Your eyes are not light. There’re the mirror that helps light move. But light doesn’t need any help, eyes or not, it will continue moving as your heart beats.